A burglar was cruising through a posh suburb looking for a target of opportunity. At one house he saw a truck unloading a big screen television, stereo, and video outfit. All the gear had to cost thousands of dollars. He made a mental note and went on his way. The next day he was back in the same neighborhood. When he drove past the house with all the goodies, he saw an elderly couple loading suitcases into the trunk of their car. He could hardly wait.
That night, without a moon in the sky and a heavy fog, he drove up to the house. He rang the doorbell and when no one answered, broke the lock on the kitchen door and went in. It was pitch black inside as he made his way through the kitchen, then the dining room and into the den where he expected to find the things he wanted to steal.
"I see you and Jesus sees you," a voice said.
The burglar froze in his tracks.
"I see you and Jesus sees you," the voice said again.
When nothing more happened, the burglar took out his flashlight and shinned it in the direction of the voice. All he saw was a parrot on its perch.
"I see you and Jesus sees you."
The burglar laughed.
"Just a dumb bird," he said.
The burglar closed the drapes before turning on a lamp and that's when he saw a big and mean looking Doberman Pincher sitting beneath the parrot's perch.
"Sic him, Jesus!" the parrot said.