What does that mean? No, it's got nothing to do with washing your partner's feet or curing their leprosy during lovemaking.
To have "Christlike" sex, you should:
Oh, and experiment with vibrators, water pistols, rub-on tattoos and jump ropes. (Jump ropes? Don't ask.)
All of this advice and much, much more can be found in a little-known genre of books: Christian sex manuals. They include " The Act of Marriage" by Tim and Beverly LaHaye, "Sacred Sex" by Tim Alan Gardner, "Intimate Issues" by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, "The Sexual Man" and "Secrets of Eve" by Archibald D. Hart, "The Gift of Sex" by Joyce and Clifford L. Penner, and "Intended for Pleasure" by Ed Wheat.
These books include plenty of G-rated messages about creating a spiritual union with your partner. (1 Corinthians: "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other.") There is also advice to pray and study the Bible together as a way of enhancing marital intimacy.
But flip through "A Celebration of Sex" by Christian therapist Douglas E. Rosenau and you just might possibly notice, sandwiched between passages on the philosophy of love: detailed drawings of a penis, clitoris and labia, as well as several sexual positions (wife on top, side by side, husband on top, crosswise, rear-entry, and standing).
The author advises that sexual slang--"pet names for body parts and secret vocabulary shared by only the two of you"--is permissible. "As Christians, however, we must be careful to avoid the very negative attitudes and ideas about sex that society...has incorporated into slang." He even gives acceptable examples: "Big John," "Shamu" and wanting to "dive into your pool."
"When it first came out it was controversial," she says. "It covers the bases. The only parameters are that sex is to be kept within marriage."
Is this just a case of Christian publishers wanting to shamelessly exploit a marketing principle as ancient as the Dead Sea Scrolls, i.e. that "sex sells"? Or are they trying to attend to a genuine, deeper need felt especially by Christians?
"It would not surprise me that some of the people producing these books are hoping for market share," says Amy-Jill Levine, director of the Carpenter Program in Religion, Gender and Sexuality at Vanderbilt Divinity School. "It's a replay of 'The Total Woman'," the book by Marabel Morgan that, among other things, encouraged 1970s wives to greet their husbands at the door adorned only in Saran Wrap.
But Rosenau writes that past Christian teaching has created hang-ups for men and women that need to be stripped away. As he gives women advice on "turning yourself on," he writes, "the sad fact is that in Christianity, sex has often been feared and not talked about...You may have to erase mental tapes going around in your head from Mom or Dad, the church and society to truly enjoy sex." He then gives detailed instructions for oral sex.