Beliefnet

So you need a sign from God to assure you that your current girlfriend (or boyfriend) is His will for you, and if she/he is the one? Here is the one of the most rock solid ways to find out.

But first, let me tell you that after 2,000 years of Jesus’ resurrection, we are mature enough as Christians to be asking for supernatural signs when in the bible God is showing us his will for almost everything for our daily lives. According to His word and to the experience of thousands of Christians around the world, here is one of the best ways to know if you have found the right person to marry (and stay married) for the rest of your life.

Here is a big question for you: Are you willing to change your way of life, and grow in every aspect you need to grow to make him/her happy? This would mean accepting him/her as who she/he really is, (don’t trust too much on the external image, you need to find out who this person really is in the inside) and then, accepting his/her family the way they are, and realizing that a marriage commitment to your loved one requires that you will have to leave behind certain things that you may not want to leave. For example, bad friendships, bad habits, etc. and I’ve seen people sacrificing careers, wealth, and some family relationships for the sake of their marriage.

You are also old enough to know that people change, beauty fades, finances will fluctuate, come and go and evaporate, temptations will come; for both you and your loved one. If you are willing to sacrifice your dreams and plans for him/her and if she/he is also willing to do so for you, then we are looking at the prospect of true love. Read in the Bible what love is. Why after many years of reading the bible and listening to sermons about biblical love, we are still stuck with the soap opera’s definition of love? Remember that, true love goes beyond sex attraction, passion, infatuation, external image etc. etc.… Some couples may say: “well, we are as happy as we can be right now the way we are and we didn’t have to sacrifice anything”, my answer is: really? And you’ve lived together for how long? Their answer is almost always the same, from just a few weeks to a few years. I desire them well, but I know challenging times will come and true love will be tested.

The bible says that true love is when she/he makes you always happy, right? No, actually that is very wrong… That’s not what the bible says and she/he is not responsible for making you happy (they will try though). You are the only one responsible to make yourself happy and stay happy. This is what the bible says about love: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…

The secret to understand this bible verse is to apply it to yourself first, and not to your loved ones first. Your love for them (and for yourself) must be kind, patient, without envy, not boasting, not proud, not delighting in evil, your love does not get angered and oh, it keeps no record of wrong, always perseveres, always protects, and oh, here is one very difficult again, your love for your loved one always trusts. Some will say, I give up, I stick to my soap opera definition of love. Others must make me happy or be dumped if they don’t… this is what’s happening to marriages and relationships all over the world. One ounce of conflict and the relationship is over… Next!

God is always in control. However, we are not his puppets, we have freedom and we can make big mistakes or make wrong choices that can bring about ugly changes in many things that we value as good and beautiful for our marriage/relationship. We make a mistake, and sometimes the beautiful things and love feelings we had end up leaving us. Money can be lost, trust can be lost, and that feeling of attachment to your loved one can be lost after a horrible mistake. (I said, the feeling of attachment can be lost, but true love will never be lost, if there was true love in the first place. True love could be hurt, and damaged, but not lost, or it wouldn’t be true, biblical love)

Of course, God forgives! God can and will restore you if you ask him, but we reap what we sow, all the time. This is a biblical truth that we tend to forget. I barely see on Facebook people sharing an image with a “you reap what you sow” phrase on it. People don’t want to be reminded over and over that they are, right at this moment, reaping and sowing, sowing and reaping, every minute, every second, everything they do has a sow and reap effect.

Also remember, Jesus said that a seed that goes down to the ground, dies. Yes, you are the seed, and sowing your seed means actually dying to your own pretty dreams of happiness and satisfaction. I know, I am to tough, but, a solid marriage starts with a good, sound concept of love and sacrifice, and a relationship with God.

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