Friends – we all have them. None of them are the same. While they may share similar traits, none of them are the same type of friend. Some friends are more like family and other friends are more like acquaintances. Some friends are needy and other friends are very generous. Each friend that you have in your life should bring something to the table, just as you should provide a certain dynamic to that friend in return. That’s the great thing about friends – they’re God’s way of putting good people in your life to make it better. However, some people may not really be our friends and their presence can present various distracting and crippling effects into our life – especially if you’re married.
Married couples have a different dynamic when it comes to their friends because there is an added measure of checks and balance. Your marriage is the one friendship that should always come first. You’ll find that some people don’t understand that or perhaps they don’t share that same outlook. Therefore, it’s very important to nurture your marriage and ditch friendships that could potentially cause problems. Sometimes it’s not very easy to see these types of friends as hazardous – especially if you are blinded by other elements. However, if you stay true to yourself and seek out ways to rid yourself from these toxic people you’ll discover which friends could potentially break up your marriage.
I think it’s safe to say that all of us have had the “Stage Five Clinger Friend,” right? This friend is stuck to your like glue. No matter what you do, they feel like they have to invite themselves and be around you 24/7. While some friendships become more of a family element, it’s important to still maintain healthy boundaries. Which means you can’t be around each other all of the time and you cannot do everything together. There are times when it’s important for a husband and wife to have alone time – not only does this present a platform for couples to bond, but it also gives a couple the opportunity to connect away from any distractions. You’ll find that if you are constantly including your friend as the third wheel or consistently neglecting your spouse that things may begin to crumble.
Another type of friend to stay away from are the ones who don’t have the same morals and ethics that you do. If Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior, it’s important for your friends to respect that. Moreover, you want to surround yourself with people that share your views because they’re part of the world you’re surrounding yourself with. If you live within negativity and drama, then that’s what you will put out. The same outcome is true when it comes to positivity – if you surround yourself with positive elements then that is what your outcome will be. Try to surround yourself with other Christians that will build you up. These faith believers can provide you with positive dynamics to support your marriage. You’ll find that negative people can be a wedge within your marriage.
Liars are another dangerous friend to have. Unfortunately, there are some people in the world today that receive their happiness by making others miserable. In most cases, these people are very good at convincing you that what they’re telling you is the truth when in fact it’s the furthest thing from the truth. Once you’ve identified your friend as a liar, it’s important to distance yourself. Oftentimes, Christians get caught up with trying to help others and be their shoulder. Constantly subjecting yourself to these lies will cause a rift within your marriage because you will have invested valuable time with someone who has no intentions of bringing positivity into your life. It’s important to remember that you cannot save someone from their lies. Unfortunately, they must address this problem within themselves and talk to God on their own.
It’s also important to recognize the friends who talk badly about the opposite sex. Perhaps this person is going through a difficult time or had a bad relationship – either way they’ve categorized an entire sex into a category that they’ve set out to hate. You’ll find that this friend will thrive during your conversations that involve frustrations or obstacles that you and your spouse are experiencing. While you may love your spouse very much, it can be extremely frustrating to separate the negative things you’re hearing when you’re going through a rough patch yourself. Never allow this friend to group your spouse into category because it’s not fair for your marriage to be attached to a negative stigma.
Another friend that you’ll want to cut out of your life is a close friend of the opposite sex. It’s probably safe to say that we’ve all had a close friend that caused rough waters with our spouse. While there was no real competition or sparks, your spouse may feel threatened by this individual for one reason or another. In some ways this can be brought on by self-esteem issues or prior events that took place in another relationship. Either way, remember you took a vow to honor your spouse through sickness and in health – honor that vow. Talk to your friend and explain to them the issues your spouse has and in the end it’s important that you pick your spouse. If you allow this friend to be part of your life, you’ll find that your marriage will always carry a third wheel that makes things uncomfortable. There will always be the ‘I’m not good enough factor’ and it’s important that your spouse feels like your number one.
Remember, there’s no definitive right or wrong way to live out your marriage. Everyone has different dynamics because every relationship is different. However, it’s important that the friends in your life bring positive elements to the table. You’ll have to discover the truth about your friends on your own, but once you uncover the truth do not wait on acting. Communicate with your spouse and make sure that you’re on the same page because the reality is if you’re friends with someone, then your spouse will also experience those positive or negative elements.