Tip #5 Change the View
It’s really hard to hate someone when you pray for them. Christ knows that if we ask, prayer will give us the ability to see the former spouse through his lens of grace, compassion, and understanding instead of our painful perspective. Jesus was hated, insulted, lied about, unlawfully arrested, assaulted, and humiliated. He offers this paraphrased advice (Romans 12:9-20):
• Bless and do not curse
• Do everything you can to live in harmony
• Do not be proud, arrogant, or condescending
• Do what is right; earn the respect of others
• Do not take revenge; remain a lady
This does not imply that a stepmom should tolerate abuse from the former spouse. The goal of a smart stepmom is to learn the things that build a bridge toward the ex-spouse, and refrain from words and actions that create walls.