5 Ways to Thank the Veteran in Your Life

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Veterans have been through a lot. At the very least, they’ve experienced basic training—a weeks-long experience in physical and psychological training, followed by four years of long hours and modest pay.

At the worst, they’ve seen the cruelest sides of inhumanity and war, things that no one should have to witness, that no one should have to endure.

No matter what a veteran’s experience, though, all volunteered knowing that they did so at their own peril. They should receive recognition for that bravery.

But how do we thank them? A simple, “Thank you for your service,” is a kind gesture, but one that often creates a sense of social discomfort in veterans—it is often difficult to know how to tactfully respond to this.

Let’s take a look at a few ways in which we can convey a genuine sense of thankfulness to the veterans in our lives without causing them discomfort.

Listen to Them

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If there’s one skill that has always been in short supply, it’s listening.

One of the best ways to thank the veterans in your life for their service, however, is to simply lend them your ear.

When you ask a veteran you know about his or her service, allow your words to wait. Allow for pauses in conversation. It’s not always quick or easy to talk about painful experiences.

Show that you’re listening with your body language. Turn toward the veteran you’re speaking with—let them know that you care about what they’re saying, that it’s important to you. Try to avoid mentally preparing a response—just take it all in without distraction.

Getting to know someone through active listening makes them feel as important as they are, and if you want to truly show gratitude to the veteran in your life, it begins here—with listening. Gratitude can come after.

Conversation is Key

One of the chief frustrations of veterans is how to respond to the classic “Thank you for your service.”

A simple response of “You’re welcome,” often feels both flat and arrogant to many former service members, making this question a difficult one to put an answer to.

Kevin Bell, U.S. Army veteran, in an interview with Task & Purpose, shares his thoughts on the matter, saying that “If people could just find a way to make it easier and more conversational to respond when they thank a veteran for their service, that would be pretty awesome.”

And therein lies the key—a conversational tone. While an overly formal “thank you,” can make some veterans uncomfortable—even those you know well—a conversation that conveys that same message will brighten anyone’s day. Rather than simply stating thanks, try engaging the veteran in a way that he or she can respond to naturally. Ask them about their experiences if they’re comfortable talking about them—make an effort to understand them and the particulars of how they served. Most will appreciate that they’re being thanked for something that the other person understands rather than being handed empty platitudes.

In short, talk to the veterans amongst your friends and family before you thank them. Your informed gratitude will impact them all the more.

Get Involved

Transitioning from a military to a civilian lifestyle can be challenging. To aid in this process, there are countless veterans’ charity groups in place. And a great way to thank a veteran is to give to one or more of these charities.

These organizations perform a variety of services such as serving meals, re-acclimating veterans to the civilian workforce, providing access to health care facilities, educational opportunities, psychological counseling, and much more. And they need your help.

US Army Veteran, Welton Chang, in speaking with Task & Purpose, says that his preferred method of being thanked for his service is “By moving beyond bumper-sticker support for veterans. Help us help each other by doing three things: get in involved with veterans’ organizations, get politically involved, and vote.”

These organizations are often the only bridge former military members have to successfully cross over to civilian life. Honor all veterans by empowering these charities and organizations. Get to know veteran’s issues, and make choices that allow you do something about them.

Express Gratitude, but Avoid the Pedestal

Most veterans don’t like to be placed on a pedestal, particularly when it feels insincere.

Remember—these men and women volunteered to serve, and those who serve typically have some degree of humility. A handshake and a brief conversation are often enough to make a veteran feel honored without having an uncomfortable spotlight shone on them.

Many veterans feel that they’re a smaller part of something much bigger than themselves—military training focuses on teamwork, being able to follow a chain of command, and on group responsiveness. There is very little “I” in the military. And so to be placed, individually, on a pedestal, can be uncomfortable to a veteran who is highly aware of the sacrifices of those he or she worked alongside.

Be sensitive to this thought process. Through conversation and listening, find out what level of praise the veteran you know is comfortable with, and make sure that’s what you give them.

Hire Them

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There are some unfortunate stigmas surrounding veteran workers that can make the transition to a civilian life difficult. Some employers see veteran applicants through a tainted lens, and come to interviews with many presuppositions based on an individual’s service. If you’re a business owner or a hiring manager, a great way to thank all veterans is to simply be willing to hire them.

This doesn’t mean special preference. This simply means that if a veteran is highly qualified, and at the top of your list of potential hires, don’t hesitate! Evaluate these candidates on who they are, not what you’ve heard, or what preconceived notions you may have—either consciously or subconsciously.

And if you’re not in a hiring position? Offer your expertise!

Which of your job skills do you find most beneficial? If welcomed, offer this information to the veterans you know who may be struggling to transition out of military life.

Simply treating a veteran like what they are—a human being who has given their time to the defense of your country—can be all the thanks they need. Be sure to recognize their humanity and strengths.

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