Be Age-Specific in Your Approach
Preschoolers need assurance of love, seeing both parents, and as much consistency as possible. School age children have better cognitive understanding and may be more afraid of what happens when people don’t get along.
You will see more emotions: sadness, anger and upset that needs lots of support and comfort. Teens will feel the unsettling of this and feel a lack of security during a changing time in their development. Older teens may have opinions and express their anger more directly and wonder how it will impact their lives with peers, money, etc.
Let the child direct questions and answer honestly without disparaging the other, giving reassurance that you will try your best to work out issues that are troublesome to them. No matter your marital status, you will work hard at co-parenting.