Try this …

Don’t Talk So Much! “Nothing is as easy as talking but as difficult as communicating,” writes Keller. “Some marriage couples believe that they are doing what are required to do when they speak and tell their spouse what’s on their minds.  Unfortunately this is just half the battle and it’s the easier half.  The key to effective communication is not speaking, nor is it even just listening, but it is understanding what your spouse is saying so that you can more effectively respond.  Listening is probably the most difficult aspect of communication.  It is not merely being silent; it is allowing your partner to communicate so that you may understand them better.  Too many couples listen with the goal being a more effective rebuttal in the conflict, or to better communicate their position when it’s their turn to talk.  I recommend “listening between the lines” as the goal to keep in mind whenever you talk.  One of the most important aspects of this concept is focus.  In order to focus more clearly, couples need to avoid the following distractions: physical, relational, mental, emotional, and spiritual distractions can hinder communication and in some cases completely destroy it.  So the next time you have a time of communication with your spouse, I would recommend that you not call it a time to talk, but a time of listening.”