Angry woman

What repels you? Nosy neighbors. Organized religion? Bohemia? Modern design or gold-gilded embellishments?

Knowing what does not work for you is a powerful tool for creating more of what does work for you. Measuring positive feelings against negative feelings is one of the constructive ways to use comparison, and it’s a great way to tune into our deeper truth.

Write down 10 things that creep you out, turn you off, or drive you nuts. Then ask yourself why it bugs you? Is it a past association, an unexamined story that you’ve been telling yourself, an indicator of your truest values?

(My list goes something like: people who walk in without knocking, lack of gratitude, airy fairy types, wood paneling, relentless sarcasm as a barrier to intimacy, red & black as a clothing colour combo, when people call and say, “Can you call me back?” without leaving more of an explanation. Long winded explanations.

When I look at the first cut of my peeve list it has a lot to do with standards of respect and privacy. My values. And wood paneling reminds me of a childhood home that I swear was haunted.)

Is there anything on your list that’s taking up too much space in your life, or…could be re-assessed and maybe even embraced by you?
Contrast is an excellent teacher.

danielle laporteDanielle LaPorte is the author of The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide for Creating Success on Your Own Terms (Random House/Crown). An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she is the co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. Her next online program launches November 2012, called DESIRE: The Map to What You Truly Want. Over a million visitors have gone to for her straight-up advice -- a site that's been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality”, and was named one of the "Top 100 Websites for Women" by Forbes. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter.

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