It demands too much. How many of us have crossed off everything on our to‑do list? Isn’t there unfinished business at the end of most days? Does your life seem like a cruel marathon—you see the finish line and keep running for it, but someone keeps moving it? Do you have trouble sleeping? Are you often anxious? Do you feel overwhelmed? These are symptoms of living in a world that demands too much—and that will suck the life out of you if you let it.
As I pastor in the Bay Area of California and minister across the United States, I see the impact of our highly driven, fast-paced, complex lifestyle. We end up with much fatigue, little margin, shallow relationships, fractured families, drifting marriages, painful loneliness, coping addictions, neglected kids, and generally hurting people.
If you think I’m exaggerating, let me share a not-so-atypical story of a young girl in a highly driven family. Her parents were convinced that education was the key to her success in life. So for four to five hours after school each day, she was required to do extra homework. Beginning in sixth grade, they hired a tutor to spend six hours with her every Saturday to prepare for her SAT and ACT exams. Their motives were to help their daughter, yet the competitive dance of bigger, better, faster, and more resulted in educational success and relational tragedy. She made perfect scores on both the SAT and the ACT and was awarded a full scholarship at an Ivy League school. Sounds like a great story, right? Wrong. Upon graduation, she changed her address and phone number three times to eliminate any contact with her parents. “Success” did a lot of relational damage. All of their “doing” didn’t translate into “loving”—at least not in her eyes. In small and big ways, our drive for bigger-better-faster-more has taken over our lives.
As a result, our souls have a dis-ease. I don’t mean a disease, as in a physical illness. I mean a dis-ease—a lack of ease. A nagging discomfort. A constant, underlying stress. This race we’re running in order to get bigger, better, faster, and more is completely destroying our peace. We’re losing our grounding. We don’t know where we are or where we’re going, or even how to go at a reasonable pace. Pretty soon, we realize that our relationships are coming unglued. We work mountains of hours, often for the sake of people we love, but end up with superficial relationships with those very same people because we’ve spent so much time working that we haven’t invested in them. We’ve exchanged real, down-to-earth, quality relationships for money-bought privileges and perks. We’ve squeezed out the necessary time for friendships, marriage, children—even God. There’s little authenticity or depth left—just enough to maintain our relationships superficially.
“I’ll do that as soon as . . .” is the classic line of the overcommitted person. We’ll catch up on those relationships when this business deal is done or when we finish this project or when the kids get out of diapers and don’t demand so much attention or when . . . But “when” never happens. Pretty soon, the kids are teenagers or leaving for college, you’ve forgotten how to have an in‑depth conversation with your spouse, and your friends have all found other people to share their interests. Our “someday” thinking never really works out. Someday doesn’t come unless we stop and decide to simplify our lives.
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*Excerpted with permission from Simon & Schuster
Chapter One, Pages 5-10