There’s no point in looking back on your life with regret. Everything that has happened to you since your birth had to happen when it did, they way it did or you would not be the person you are now…this seeker of truth. Some of these stressful occurrences led to your greatest growth, especially growth of the spiritual kind.
There are no accidents or coincidences. Change the past minutely and you change the present; in ways you could not possibly perceive. This is the “Butterfly Effect”. You may think that a slight tweak here and a small change there would have made your life so much better, but you’d be wrong. Learn to let your life unfold as the universe wishes and learn to love it as it is. And, most importantly, trust that the universe is unfolding as it should. What the universe has in store for you is tailor-made to your specific needs. The presence within will not always give you what you want, but it will always give you what you need.
My “Six-Step Path” is designed to help you to accept your life; whether past, present or future…without regret. Most importantly is that it shows you how to accept your life in the present…as it is happening, now…and not to look back with regret.
Step 1. Observe yourself without judgment
Step 2. Forgive yourself and others.
Step 3. Accept what you observe.
Step 4. Love yourself unconditionally.
Step 5. Awaken from your dream.
Step 6. Celebrate life forever.
Often, what you perceive as “bad news”, and would change if you could, turns out, in retrospect, to have been a blessing in disguise. You just didn’t see the big picture. Un- welcome events can lead to positive growth. When you try to control the external, physical world, you not only fail, but you usually end up getting in your own way.
Regret for your past is a sign of not being content with your present. When you think: If only this or that in my present were different, I could be happy, you are revealing that this is the case. As Abe Lincoln said: “Most people are about as happy as they’ve made up their minds to be.” It is also a sign of not being ready to take responsibility for your present.
When a reporter asked Thomas Edison: “Don’t you feel stupid for having failed to successfully make a light bulb 10,000 times? Absolutely not.” replied Edison. ”I found 10,000 ways not to do it.”
When we were younger and innocent and defenseless, “baggage” was laid on us. Baggage that made our lives difficult, stressful and full of suffering. These struggles helped build us, brick-by-brick. They did not, however, have the final say in who we became. As adults, we are responsible for the us we choose to be. This is in spite of, or because of, our past. As George Elliot said: “It‘s never too late to live the life you’re meant to.”
You are part of something greater than yourself and, although you must be active participants in your own life, you must also let the universe work, through you, to the physical plane. There’s not need for regret when you are in sync with the universe. Do what you can do and let the universe work its will. When you’re out of touch with your true self, life is an uphill battle to overcome a never-ending stream of obstacles. When you are in sync with your own life, synchronicity kicks in and your needs are “miraculously” met.
If you look back on your need for training wheels, to graduate from a tricycle to a bicycle, are your reflections filled with regret at your past need? Of course not. You were happy that help, in the form of training wheels, was available to get you on to the next step in your life. Well, all the situations in your past helped to make you the person you are now. They are why, for the most part, you are the present you.
The lesson here is to be open to your life…all of your life, not just the parts that you perceive as positive or happy. And, when it’s your time to be sad, then embrace that sadness as you would happiness and before you realize it, you will be through the sadness and on to the next phase of your life.
You’re the only one, of 7 billion people in the world, who has the right to be uniquely you, or can be. Remember, as Oscar Wilde said: “Be yourself. Everyone else seems to be taken.” Be you, without regret and without anxiety. Sometimes you’ll be visited by “bad” news and sometimes by “good” news. Let it all in. It’s your life. And no one else can live it except you.
Don Lubov, author, artist, teaches classes in "Spirituality With A Touch Of Zen", Creativity and Drawing, at three local colleges. His "Six-Step Path" can be seen on his websites: Spiritshare.net and donlubov.com.