Beliefnet

All of us are looking for the ultimate happiness. We pay experts, buy books, and listen to motivational speakers to find what is missing from life, but this comes from within us. We can do something to change the compass of our lives and find hope today without books or a motivational speaker to cheer us on.

We all know the song “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. Here are his lyrics that many people related to: “Here comes bad news talking this and that. Yeah, give me all you got, don't hold back. Yeah, well I should probably warn you I'll be just fine. Yeah, no offense to you, don't waste your time. Here's why--because I'm happy.” The good news is you don’t have to wait to be happy. You have a choice by living a positive life, forgiving others and like Williams illustrated, not to worry about the small things that snag us. Things like traffic, rushing to get errands done, or circumstances out of your reach and control are bummers, so take a worry vacation, and don’t allow these pains to trap you.

How can we find success and happiness? You might be thinking that you tried to be happy by sheer willpower. This train of thought is important, but it is not the entire tool chest. Joy also comes from reprogramming the conscience and subconscious mind. Meaning, you can’t rely on pure willpower for happiness, although it does help. We are like a computer, we all have cellular memories. These memories could be of abuse, rejection, disappointment, or tragic events in a person’s life. Unless there is true inner healing, destructive cycles will continue to prevail.

Alex Loyd’s wrote The Love Code that addresses cellular memories, fear and finding the path to true happiness. He addressed tackling fear with a reader who was feeling something was amiss in their lives. His advice was to attack the root of the problem, as we can’t run from ourselves. “That thing that is behind the scenes of your health or achievement and success or whatever, is a relationship issue with yourself, others or God. It may be generational or unconscious or subconscious so you don’t even know what it is or know you have it. It may be conscious, but almost 100 percent of the time it is a relationship issue because those are the primary foundational issues of everything. Everything is on a continuum from 100 percent love to 100 percent fear. There is no love outside of relationships and fear is the opposite of love and the other name for the stress response is the fear response. So it’s always relational somewhere back down the line at the root.”

Serving others brings joy into life. Treat people with kindness and you will feel better about your life. Look to start moving away from negativity and talking badly of people, even if they do deserve it, and go do a kind act for someone—perhaps them! Explore volunteer opportunities, writer Susan Skog wrote. “Volunteering helps you reach greater states of happiness and hope. You experience a potent euphoria known as “helper's high.” This sense of usefulness, optimism and meaning can banish your brooding thoughts and clear out the cobwebs in your minds. Why? For one thing, giving back helps you stop fixating on your troubles and it will propel you to feel empowered and confident that you can make a difference.

Living in the present and letting go of having control is also key The Huffington Post reported. “Therefore, if you want to have happiness, you need to learn to let go. You need to learn to live without trying to control your life. Because the minute you try to control it, you become dependent on the feeling of control--which makes you lose control of yourself. You can plan for the best. However, no matter how things turn out, you need to accept them. Be resilient. Go with the flow. That’s the way to live life with peace of mind.” We’re giving you tough assignments, but with practice you can make this a habit, even for the control freak in you. If this doesn’t work seek help and find out the reasons you can’t let go. These obsessions many of us have to control everything in our universe are useless and draining.

Please add happier people and relationships into your circle. Start getting rid of people who really don’t care for your happiness. They compete with you, show no encouragement, and are just a drag! Don’t do anything hasty, but really look at the company you keep. Stop caring what others think about you, what you wear, the past, or anything else. They’re going to judge anyway, right? Your success depends on it. Additionally, look at what and who you are basing happiness on. The Mayo Clinic reported that 10 percent of people based their happiness on circumstances. Again, changing thoughts, and also behaviors contributes to finding peace, joy, and harmony. Forgiving yourself is important, too. This doesn’t mean forgetting, it means releasing the person out from judgment and enjoying a resentment free life. “Friends and family help you celebrate life's successes and support you in difficult times,” The Mayo Clinic offered. “Although it's easy to take friends and family for granted, these relationships need nurturing. Build up your emotional account with kind words and actions. Be careful and gracious with critique. Let people know that you appreciate what they do for you or even just that you're glad they're part of your life.”

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