Recently I have had a dilemma I'm trying to resolve, a weekend in the nearfuture where I have conflicting demands and values, and need to be in twoplaces at the same time. I have agonized over this decision because myintuition is not giving me a clear answer and I haven't felt that there wasa win-win solution. If I do one thing, I'm letting down a bunch of people.If I do the other, I'm also missing the mark. Either way I feel like aloser, not a winner. And so I have yet to make this decision, although Imust in the next few days. I've prayed, asked friends for advice, looked atthe universe for a clear sign of which way to go, and visualized bothalternatives to get a feeling for which choice leaves me with the bestfeeling inside.
This morning I got an e-mail that directly addresses this dilemma. Thismessage reminded me that, whenever possible, you must search for a solutionthat doesn't force you to be a loser no matter what you decide to do, butrather, allows you and others in your life to be winners:
You are driving along on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, andyou see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who is sick and about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man or woman you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to pick up, knowing that there could only be one passengerin your car? This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used aspart of a job application. You could pick up the old lady because she needs to get to a hospital right away; or you could take the oldfriend because he/she once saved your life, and this would be the perfectchance to pay him/her back. However, you may never be able to find yourperfect dream lover again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Think before you continue reading. . .
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thoughtlimitations and think outside the box.
Moral: You are not always the victim in life; most of the time you are thevictor looking at the situation from the wrong view! The view is yours tochoose.
Source: The Enlightened Millionaire Eagles program
If, like me, you are looking at a decision that makes you feel forced tochoose between plan A or plan B, and neither plan by itself seems likethe right decision, stretch your mind to consider plans C or D that mightenable you to move away from the forced choice between two alternatives, toa third option that solves the problem in a whole new way. The key is tostop telling yourself that you must choose between A and B.Believe that there is a solution you haven't yet thought of, which willenable you to feel good about your choice, and then search for what it is.It might just end up being better than A or B ever could have been byitself.