When Love Hurts: Causes and Cures for Painful Sex

IMAGE Orgasms, pleasure, sensual, and love are words often associated with healthy sex. Physical pain and hurting are not. But for the men and women who live with dyspareunia —painful intercourse—these words are all too meaningful. Luckily, the condition is usually treatable. Both psychological and physical factors contribute to painful sex, and treatments vary. Sometimes, something as simple as choosing a different brand of condom or discovering new foreplay techniques will alleviate the problem. In other cases, medication or more rarely, surgery may be necessary. When the cause is more psychological than physical, individual or couples therapy may be the solution.

When a Woman Experiences Pain During Sex


Vaginal dryness is often the culprit causing pain that is felt on entry but eases later on. When a woman becomes sexually aroused, glands in her vagina secrete a fluid that acts as a lubricant. Anything that disrupts this process can result in inadequate lubrication and subsequently, painful intercourse.Other factors can cause lubrication problems, such as insufficient foreplay or changes in women's hormone levels caused by postmenopause or breastfeeding. Medications, such as antihistamines, can also have an overall drying effect. Extended foreplay or more effective stimulation techniques may resolve the problem simply and easily. If not, using a lubricated condom or applying a water-soluble lubricant (K-Y Jelly or liquid, Astroglide gel, or Silken Secret gel) may do the trick. Vaseline and other petroleum-based lubricants should not be used as lubrication aids because they can decrease a condom's effectiveness and/or encourage vaginal infections. Postmenopausal women may want to consider vaginal estrogen creams to alleviate dryness and pain.


Feeling pain at or near the entrance to the vagina may be the result of a vaginal or urinary tract infection , or related to scarring from an episiotomy . Spermicides, feminine hygiene sprays, douches, or tight clothing can also create soreness. Simply treating the infection or removing the irritant may solve the problem. Pain caused by an episiotomy scar may go away on its own as time passes and the area becomes less tender. If not, surgical treatment may be a consideration. It is also important to keep in mind that some sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), like chlamydia , can cause pain during sex.

Reproductive Tract Disorders/Vaginismus

Pain that is felt deeper inside the vagina or into the lower abdomen during intercourse may be a sign of endometriosis , pelvic inflammatory disease , or other disorders of the reproductive tract. These conditions all require prompt attention from a doctor. In a few women, sexual activity triggers a sudden and involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles, called vaginismus . The vagina clamps down, making penetration and intercourse very painful and sometimes even impossible. This is an automatic muscular response, often associated with psychological trauma. It may be linked to past experiences of painful intercourse or sexual abuse. Vaginismus can often be resolved by gradually dilating the vagina with the fingers or with specially prescribed, graduated dilators. Therapy is also helpful with this condition.

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