Secondhand Emotions: "Catching" a Bad Mood
An Insidious PoisonStudy authors Reed W. Larson of the University of Illinois and David M. Almeida at the University of Arizona at Tucson say that the repeated daily experience of secondhand emotions can travel from one person to another in a family. This may be a means by which parental distress, anger, or depression can lead to the same conditions in other family members, particularly children.
The ResearchProfessors Larsen and Almeida studied 450 families over 3 years. They peeked in on the activities, moods, and emotional lives of the study subjects through diaries and by calling to ask how they felt. Other families filled out questionnaires about the effect of secondhand emotions in their lives."The most consistent finding was that negative emotions can create a chain reaction of distress that moves through a family, affecting everybody's behavior and eventually, their well-being," says Dr. Almeida, a professor of family studies and human development. "These emotional spillovers also appear to follow the order of power in a family, from fathers to mothers to children."The study also revealed that an emotion can be transformed from one person to another in its transmission. For instance, scorn in one person may induce shame in another. Anger in a powerful person can create anxiety in a less powerful family member.
Ways to Communicate"If couples or family members can just communicate the reason why they are in a bad mood, others at home are less likely to catch that negative emotion," says Dr. Larson, a psychologist and professor of human development at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. "But if dad just bottles up his feelings and snaps at the children when he comes home, they are far more likely to think his dour mood is due to something they have done, and then they become even more depressed." If the head of the family is a woman, negative moods will also flow downhill and affect the other family members. Geraldine Downey, PhD, a Columbia University professor, studied single mothers in chronic pain and compared them to similar mothers in good health. She too found that negative emotions are easily transmitted to others in the family. But, when children fully understand that their mother's bad mood is in response to a painful condition, they do not blame her mood on themselves. In cases where there is clear justification for ill temper, family members tend to relax more and the toxic emotions are less likely to be transmitted. In one family studied, the husband was experiencing the rigors of the New York Bar Exam and was generally uptight and on edge. However, his wife did not feel intimidated by or responsible for his dour mood because she knew what was causing it.