ask pastor paul grief

ask pastor paul grief

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Is he a Hindu hottie, but you're a Catholic cutie? Not sure what to get your friend for her Bat Mitzvah? Wondering about Wicca? Pastor Paul answers all your religion and spirituality questions. Send them to

And make sure to check out previous Pastor Pauls!

  • Check out the transcript from Pastor Paul's chat on Yahoo!

  • Dear Pastor Paul,
    I believe that there is someone up there controlling us, but why does he or she let so many of my friends die? Five were killed in a car accident and two were killed right before their graduation. Why did he or she upstairs let them die? I don't understand.

    I can't tell you why your friends and so many young people are killed or why there is so much suffering and death in the world. But they are there, and each of us will experience them.

    The question is: How do we live full lives with any joy in the face of such a horrible event like the death of our good friends? The biblical character Job had everything taken from him--his loved ones, his health, and all his wealth. God never told him why. His friends and wife told him to curse God and die, but he did not do that. Job was angry and deeply hurt, but he never ultimately lost faith in God or the future of his Life. Slowly his suffering lessened, and he began to see joy again. To lose faith in God is to lose faith in Life, and vice versa.

    Sometimes we just need to hold on until the pain gets less horrible. In the meantime, we can honor our friends and family who do die. We can grieve their loss, as you are doing now, and we can remember their lives. We can let them live on in the world through us, and through how they have helped us to be better people. We can appreciate those of our friends who are alive right now.

    Live today to the fullest!

    Blessings on you and may God grant you peace,
    Pastor Paul

  • Find out more about rituals that help with the healing process.

  • Frequently asked questions about how teens should mourn.

  • Talk with other grieving teens.

  • Pastor Paul has worked with young people in the Twin Cities, Seattle, Sao Paulo, and New York City. He currently is a chaplain at Columbia University in New York City.