My faith is not a huge black dot. Millions of Muslims like me will try to renew their relationship with God during this month--a period of fasting, prayer and reflection for Muslims worldwide. The month of Ramadan was a period when the Prophet Muhammad (May God's peace be upon him) regularly sought refuge in the mountains of Mecca from the social evils and injustices of Arab society before Islam. It was during one such sojourn in the Cave of Hira when he received the first of the Qur'anic revelations.
The previous Ramadan is not the same as this one. This year we approach God with a renewed desperation to find answers about faith in him can be used to sustain mass murderers on September 11th and why he allows the killing of innocents in Afghanistan as collateral damage. Last Ramadan, I kept on wondering about God's silence in the midst of suffering; this Ramadan, I may be more carefully tuned to the voice of God as He speaks to us precisely through the cries of the newly orphaned ones. Did the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) not say "The sun rises every morning with an announcement: Oh child of Adam, today is a new day; a new opportunity for you to do good."
We are to learn discipline, patience, and sacrifice during this month. When someone seeks to pick an argument with you, say, "I am fasting," said the Prophet. While we fast in order to attain the pleasure of God, how we conduct ourselves during this month is pretty much about how we relate to other people.
At a personal level, this means that I can no longer say that I became angry with my brother because he wore my shirt, that I was nasty toward an acquaintance because she's always unpleasant toward me. Oh no! I became angry because I decided to, I was nasty towards her because I decided to be.
Far from suggesting that we should never become angry or display resentment, I am only saying that we are free to decide on our responses and then own them as ours. I may not choose the hunger in my stomach or may not be able to avoid the sight of cookies in the shop windows. I can choose my response to these.
When I am hungry during the day, I decide not to eat. When I thirst, I decide not to drink. The presence of hunger or thirst in my body on the one hand, and that of food and drink in the house on the other, does not compel me to do the obvious. I am free to break free from the obvious.
Besides freedom from the obvious, Ramadan will teach me about my own vulnerability and my dependence on the grace of God and, hopefully, it will also strip me of my self-righteousness and delusions that only I and my flock are entitled to God's grace.