2022-07-27
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Church is a sacred place where we all should be on our best behavior. But sometimes, people forget their manners and have us going crazy during the church service. Some of these are silly, stupid things that we really shouldn’t get too concerned about, but are funny none-the-less. Here are the things that annoy the crap out of us when at church.

Crazy Youth Group Kids

No day is crazier at church than the dreaded “Youth Sunday.” The rambunctious teenagers take over the sanctuary to slam on the drums, poorly sing gospel songs, and blurt out stories of mission trips and youth group gossip. While they’ve got some good intentions, I might go sit in the back that day. In addition, who is dressing these kids on Sunday morning? While there is no strict dress code, some of these teens are wearing some…ahem, ‘colorful’ options. Save those casual clothes with offensive remarks or skin-bearing dresses for another time.

Long Sermons

We shouldn’t complain, really. We are blessed to have opportunities to go to church and hear the Word of God from Christian leaders. But sometimes, man, they just go on way too long. I’m sitting during these sermons thinking “let’s get to the point” because I’m ready to go grab that after-church brunch. Bad, I know. But hey those restaurant lines get long.

Overly Happy Greeters

Look for a lot of us, mornings are not our thing. We’re walking into church every Sunday looking like complete zombies. As happy as I am that the Spirit has inspired greeters, it’s time for them to tone it down. I can live without so much pep and excitement right as I walk in. This is only church, save some happiness and cheer for the party in heaven.

Talking During the Service

Hey Martha-Talks-A-Lot, it’s time to keep your mouth shut! I know that church can be a time for socializing and catching up with friends, but when the pastor is giving the sermon I like to be able to hear what he is saying. The concept of quiet whispering seems really hard for a lot of people to grasp, so I think it’s better we stay quiet all together.

Church Parking Lots

The Bible’s messages of patience, respect, and love all are thrown out the window the second you get to a church parking lot on a Sunday morning. The youth pastor trying to cut in front of you in line to get a spot? I don’t think so! It’s like a battle royal where everyone is out for themselves. Good luck out there.

Crying Babies

It’s the same thing on airplanes; crying babies just drive people crazy. During a prayer mid-sermon and we hear the dreaded “wahhhh!” coming from across the sanctuary. But I guess I can understand, Moms have to get their worship in too. Reality, they’re praying to God that they don’t go off the deep end as they try to sooth their fussy little one.

Terrible Singers

Hymns are a staple of most church services, and a lot of them request the congregation to sing along. But let’s make it really clear, this is not an audition to be one American Idol. There is no need to try and out-sing the band. They practiced for hours to get up there and sing their heart out, I don’t want that to be squashed by the man belting out next to me.

Cell Phones and Other Technology

Cell phones should be turned off the second that service starts. There is nothing worse than hearing someone’s screeching iPhone alarm during the middle of the Lord’s Prayer. In addition, this isn’t the time to whip out your 12-inch tablet and try to take photos of the church band. They block the sight of everyone behind you, how frustrating! You don’t need to waste time posting to Facebook that you are at church, either. All your friends should be joining you at church already anyways.

While these instances are silly annoyances we should probably brush off, sometimes they really do drive us crazy in church. Next time one of these things begins to bug you, giggle a bit and move on. Know you aren’t alone in finding these things disruptive, annoying and silly.

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