Q: Have you heard the latest UU miracle?
A: Someone saw the face of Ralph Waldo Emerson on a tortilla.
Q: Why can't Unitarian Universalists sing very well in choirs?
A: Because they're always reading ahead to see if they agree with the next verse.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Unitarian Universalist with a Jehovah's Witness?
A: Somebody who comes knocking at your door for no apparent reason.