For years, Jews and Christians of all ages have debated the merits of their respective holidays. It's been a source of controversy almost as long as the argument over who killed you-know-who. Admittedly, the holiday debate hasn't been quite as intense as that. Still, this eternal question arouses strong passions. Until now, there has never been any objective comparison of the two December gift-giving holidays.

Here, at last, readers have an opportunity to make up their own minds on this issue. With a completely impartial neutrality, I present the results of an exhaustive comparative study.

	CHANUKAH	CHRISTMAS
Pronunciation	HAN-eh-kuh, sometimes pronounced with a gutteral ch (not SHA-nu-kay)	KRISS-mess
Date	Dec. 4-11 (varies annually)	Dec. 25 (the same old day every year)
Gift-giving days	Eight	Only one (OK, theoretically 12)
Traditional foods	Delicious potato pancakes (latkes), homemade applesauce, luscious red wine	Turkey, Wonder bread, soggy pumpkin pie
Ornaments	Elegant candelabra (menorah)	Oversized fir trees, silly aluminum balls, garlands of popcorn
Customs	Playing with charming spinning top (dreidel), playing hide-and-seek for money (gelt), singing ancient exotic songs	Watching TV, singing jingles, drinking eggnog
Traditional gifts	Sports cars, HDTV consoles, Palm Pilot handheld computing devices, cell phones, mink stoles	Perfume, handkerchiefs, toaster ovens
Reason for celebrating	The inspiring revolt of the Maccabees against tyranny and the triumphant recapture of the Temple in Jerusalem	Birth of a single child in Bethlehem
Miracles	The burning of the Temple's "Eternal Light" for eight days with only a day's supply of oil.	Virgin birth
Principal hero	Judah "the Hammer" Maccabee	Jesus Christ
Holiday hassles	Counting gifts	Buying trees, decorating the house, returning gifts
Vacations	Yes (but not for Gentiles)	Yes (all schools and offices closed)
Commercialism	None	Omnipresent
__These, then, are the major differences between the two holidays. By coolly examining the facts, readers will finally be able to answer for themselves the age-old controversy. I personally haven't made up my mind yet.