pleasure and honor to have been a part of your lives for the last year. In parting, I want you to know that I hope to continue to be a resource to you through my work at The Money Coaching Institute. Our work as
Money Coaches continues to grow around the world! This coming May, I will be traveling to Singapore to train our new team there!
I am both humbled and excited that my vision of helping to heal and
transform the collective consciousness around money is really
happening! We now have Money Coaches throughout the U.S., in Singapore,
Malaysia, Hong Kong, South Korea, Mauritius and South Africa. It’s
amazing what can be done with a little determination, passion, purpose
and God’s grace…the perfect recipe. Notice that money wasn’t one of the ingredients. I was flat broke when
I began this journey. Nor am I rich today. I do, however, lead a very
rich life that is deeply fulfilling.
Today, when I look around at the world we inhabit, I am struck by the vast
richness of our planet. It is miraculously abundant and this abundance
that we’ve been given is our natural state and inheritance. There truly is enough of everything for everyone…we just need a more
conscious distribution system. When 90% of the world’s wealth is held
on to so tightly by 10% of the population, a great unnatural imbalance
The natural laws of the universe are such that these imbalances will always
seek some means of correction. An earthquake in Haiti, the poorest
country in North America, creates devastation followed by billions in
aid to help them rebuild. Are these simply natural events or the part
of some greater purpose to help us regain balance and equilibrium in a
world where poverty is our greatest disease?
A world in which 50% of the population — over 3 billion people —-
live on less than $2.50 a day, and according to UNICEF, where over
25,000 children die each day from poverty. We simply can no longer
continue to turn a blind eye.
After doing this work for over a decade, it is clear to me that most of
our suffering around money has to do with trying to solve our internal
problems through external means. Unfortunately, this “money wound” left
unattended, only becomes a sink hole that is impossible to fill with
enough stuff to ever heal. This wound must be healed from the inside.
Now more than ever, we are being called to do this work and to heal.
need to finally realize that our self-worth does not grow in proportion to our net-worth. Buying a McMansion or possessing multiple houses that no
one ever occupies while millions remain homeless will not heal you.
Expensive cars that consume too much oil and pollute the environment
will not take you very far from the pain. Expensive, designer-label
clothes will not make you feel good about yourself for longer than a
Your value and worth are greater than anything you could ever own. As
we begin to truly value and love one another — and say no more! to
separation and poverty, we will raise our collective value and worth.
Each human being on this planet is a precious resource with potential
that needs to be tapped so that together we can solve the issues of our
time. I believe in this potential and fight for it everyday of my life.
So I leave you with these words. It is not what you have but what you
do with this one precious life that matters. You come in with nothing
and will leave with even less if you do not do something with this gift you have been given. Life is a magical journey that really only
begins when you discover who you really are, why you are here and begin
doing it. Don’t wait for the money, for approval or anyone’s permission.
Be still and listen…there is work to be done! What part of it is
yours to do?
Most importantly, remember this: money is not meant to be the main
course you spend your life making and consuming. You may or may not
even receive it as dessert! However, it will cease to matter if you
are busy being the best — you! — you can be and doing what you came to do.
You might not even want dessert! Because you will already be filled
with the meaning and purpose of your life…which is more sweet and
satisfying than a bowl full of money, any day!
Keep in touch…write to me at email@example.com and know
that as always I wish you...peace and blessings!
I welcome You into my heart, mind, body and soul
There is always room for You here.
Grant me the wisdom to heed my inner voice
And the strength to stay grounded while I sing my sacred song.
Guide me down my chosen path and give me the courage to pursue
what is available to me.
I am thankful for the lessons and grateful for my struggles;
I have not forgotten what has brought me to where I am today.
Open my heart to the healing wholeness of nature;
We are all related, and through this I will find serenity.
Great Spirit, God, Creator of All
Cleanse my spirit and wash my soul.
There is always room for You here.
~ Laurel Singing Water Cat
I don’t know about you but it feels to me that things are getting better. Our nation and the economy still have it’s problems, but a hint of positive change does seem to be in the air, doesn’t it? Or maybe, it’s that spring is on the way and I’m feeling optimistic. Truth be told, I’m a bit tired of all the bad news, and doom and gloom. I think we need to invest more time and energy in optimism…the view is so much better, even if you never arrive. Harry Truman once said, ““A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an
optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.” I could not agree more. What about you? Are you a pessimist or an optimist these days? I found this little piece from William Arthur Ward, one of America’s most inspirational writers to help you discern the difference.
The optimist discovers a remedy.
The pessimist seeks sympathy;
The optimist spreads cheer.
The pessimist criticizes circumstances;
The optimist changes conditions.
The pessimist complains about the apple seeds;
The optimist plants them.
The pessimist imagines impending peril;
The optimist sees signs of prosperity.
The pessimist disparages;
The optimist encourages.
The pessimist creates loneliness;
The optimist finds friends.
The pessimist nibbles at the negative;
The optimist is nourished by the positive.
The pessimist builds barriers;
The optimist removes roadblocks.
The pessimist invents trouble;
The optimist enriches the environment.
~ William Arthur Ward
Peace & Blessings!
I recently had the pleasure of meeting the reknown psychologist, April Lane Benson, at a conference in Arizona, where we were both keynote speakers. April’s an expert in compulsive shopping. Afterwards, we had a chance to have lunch together and she gave me a copy of her new book, To Buy Or Not To Buy: Why We Overshop and How To Stop. It’s a great book that I highly recommend to anyone who’s ever shopped…shall we say, recreationally…which is most of us!
Here’s an interview with Dr. April Lane Benson:
Deborah: Based upon your experience April, why do you think people shop compulsively?
April: There are as many reasons to overshop as there are overshoppers. Each
one is a way of attempting to deal with thorny individual issues and
unmet personal needs; each is based on what real overshoppers
have told me over the years. Mostly, people shop to soothe themselves,
temporarily ease depression, overcome negative self image, or to avoid
dealing with something else. For some people, compulsive shopping is a
response to stress, lose, or trauma, and an attempt to feel more in
control. Sometimes people use compulsive shopping as a weapon, to
express anger or seek revenge. Or, some may shop to hold on to love,
as in the compulsive gift giver. Ultimately, compulsive buying is an
attempt to resolve a personal issue or spiritual dilemma.
Deborah: Why are women more prone to becoming “shopaholics?”
April: Actually, this is a misconception; shopping is not just a woman’s
thing. Studies show that men and women were almost equally likely to be
compulsive buyers. They do shop differently, however. Men tend to shop
more in a “work” frame and women are more “leisure” shoppers. Women–who
tend to be other-oriented and relationship-centered–tend to buy
clothing, jewelry, cosmetics, and appearance oriented goods. While
men–who tend to be self-oriented and activity-centered–often purchase electronics and sports equipment, primarily functional goods.
Men and women also relate differently to what they have…women value
their emotional and symbolic possessions, while men favor their functional
and leisure items.
Also, men’s shopping is more culturally acceptable. We tend to see men
more as consumers and collectors, but not shoppers. While women’s
shopping habits are often seen as self-indulgent and unimportant. Call
it what you will, the fact is that both genders are subject to serious
abuses when it comes to buying behavior.
Deborah: What tips can you recommend to our readers who consistently overshop or spend beyond their means?
Here’s April’s Tips:
1. Be a private eye around your buying behavior. Identify the cues or
triggers that lead to overshopping or overspending, e.g. a bad day at
work, a fight with a spouse, feeling lonely, bored, or in need of
reward, free time, or the holidays perhaps. Look for patterns and
connections. It’s important to realize that shopping is an equal
opportunity, all purpose mood changer, but works only temporarily.
After a short while, your mood will often dip even below where it was
before you shopped because now the guilt and the remorse are added to
2. Look at the consequences of your overshopping. In what areas of
your life is it costing you? Financially? Emotionally? Socially?
3. Choose someone in your life to be a Shopping Support Buddy and
brainstorm together about how that person will support you to stop
4. Expect that you may very likely feel worse before you feel better,
since the anesthetic qualities that the buying supplied are now gone.
5. Write down everything you spend and assign each expenditure a score,
based on how necessary you deem it to be, from 0=entirely unnecessary,
to 1/3=a little necessary, to 2/3=very necessary to 1, essential. At
the end of the week, look at how many of your purchases you rated
entirely or relatively unnecessary and then you’ll see how much you
could save if you were only buying things that were more necessary
rather than less.
6. Make sure you allocate some money each month for Heartsongs, things
that make your heart sing. Otherwise, you’re putting yourself at risk
for feelings of deprivation and a spending binge.
7, Consult one of the many online calculators that will help you to see the high cost of credit card debt.
8. Take control of your cues by avoiding them altogether, or limiting
your exposure . If Bloomingdales is a cue…stay far away!
9. Also build in a pause between your impulse to buy and your actual buying behavior. During the pause, ask yourself:
a. Why am I here?
b. How do I feel?
c. Do I need this?
d. What if I wait?
e. How will I pay for it?
f. Where will I put it?
10. Use cash or a debit card, without overdraft protection. Know what’s in your checking account at all times.
11. Make a list of your best reasons to stop overshopping. Keep this “Why Not Shop?” list with you at all times.
12. Ask yourself: What Am I Really Shopping For?. What underlying
emotional needs have triggered my impulse to overshop? Instead of
shopping,do something else that is healthy and life-enhancing to meet some of your underlying needs. If you shop because you’re lonely, find
another way to feel connected that builds self-esteem, not tears it
Remember: You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.
Thank you, April…those are very wise words.
Peace and Blessings!