Your Charmed Life

Your Charmed Life

Tiger’s women and the lost art of discretion

2lunas.jpgI am waiting to hear about the woman who had an affair with Tiger Woods and who is trying to keep that information to herself. This is the one of the many who, instead of thinking, “Where’s my fancy lawyer? Where’s my million dollars?” is instead thinking, “I did what I did with my eyes open, but I don’t want his wife to be hurt one more time. And I don’t want my mother to find out.” If you exist somewhere out there, you may not be perfect (that makes about 6 billion of us), but I applaud you. You are, in these days of tell-all TV and the lack of distinction between fame and notoriety, one of the few people left who knows how to be discreet. 

Here’s what I say in the essay “Acquire Discretion”: “Discretion is the art of restraint. 

creating a charmed life cover.jpg

People who have it do fewer foolish things. When they do behave foolishly, they don’t plaster the news on a billboard…When you are discreet, you protect yourself. You conserve your power. You become ‘less a satellite and more a sun’.” If you want to read the rest, it’s chapter 11 in Creating a Charmed Life. But you get the point. You do the best you can. When you fall short, you’re brutally honest about it with one or two select people—your priest, your therapist, your AA sponsor, your closest friend—and then you shut up about it and get on with your life, even if it means walking away from a million dollars. When you do this, you have other working capital in the form of enough integrity to regroup, start over, and make wiser decisions going forward.
Photo of “Discretion” by 2lunas; photo of Creating a Charmed Life, courtesy of HarperCollins Publishers
Victoria Moran is a motivational speaker, the author of ten books, and a certified life coach and holistic health counselor. If you are interested in working one-on-one with Victoria, she is now accepting holistic health and spiritual direction clients, both in person in New York City and by phone around the country. If you would like a complementary discovery session, email and put “sample session” in the subject line. And follow Victoria on Twitter:
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posted December 8, 2009 at 4:53 pm

Tiger’s pockets are too deep for the women to be quiet. Tiger should join Amway, they also screw anything that moves. Amway is a scam, and here’s why: Amway wants to pay out as little money as they can get away with, so they support the higher level IBOs ripping off their downline via the tool scam. As a result, about 99% of IBOs operate at a net loss, while the top 1% make several TIMES more from their Amway tool scam than from the Amway products. Read about it on my blog, I suggest you start here: and forward the information to everyone you know, so they don’t get scammed.

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posted December 9, 2009 at 12:30 am

Rachel Uchitel is being “discreet” by taking hush money. Any woman that is willing to wreck a home is never going to be discreet. Your article is confusing and fails to recognize that a man’s sins “will find him out.” If these women did not come clean, the rocks would cry out.

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Letitia Suk

posted December 10, 2009 at 10:21 am

I remember loving this chapter when I first read it in “Creating a Charmed Life” and I appreciate your perspective for this situation.

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posted December 11, 2009 at 7:48 am

Victoria is absolutely right. Discretion seems to be a lost art. However, let’s not confuse sneakiness with discretion. Discretion is not only being quiet when you have made a serious mistake, it is avoiding putting yourself in a situation in which you are behaving in an indiscreet manner.
Let’s put the blame squarely where it belongs: On Tiger Woods. HE chose to violate his marital vows in a serial manner and then tried to sneak out of the fix by paying off the women. Maybe they threw themselves at him, or maybe he seduced them. Doesn’t matter. The vows were his to keep, not theirs. Tiger Woods (and any other charming, good-looking and rich man) has the money and the means to insulate himself completely from any wannabe mistress, but he didn’t.
If the women are “homewreckers,” “floozies,” “indiscreet,” then so is he. There will always be indiscreet people out there–both men and women. It’s up to those of us who have made vows to behave in a discreet manner and stay away from them.

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posted December 19, 2009 at 5:20 pm

Is she discrete or is she smart? Tiger is more apt to pay her off if she keeps her mouth shut. Why pay her at all if she’s on some gossip sheet’s pay role? I think her concern for Tiger’s wife and her mother, is a bit of pity mongering. I don’t pity her–if she was that morale this would never have come up. As for Tiger–no free pass–he needs to be concerned what his parents think. I’m sure his mother is real proud of him right now. I’ll save my compassion for his mother because I’m sure she’s wondering what she did wrong for him to be uncovered in such activities. Nothing, love. Sometimes these things just happen. Not your fault.
Tiger learn from this–sometimes the blonds your chasing have ulterior motives in taking you on. You was really stupid–you lost respect from your fans, money from sponsers who find you a liabilty. the trust and maybe the love of your family. I hope your family is willing to forgive because that is the real lost and they are real victims–not the blonds.

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posted January 24, 2010 at 6:00 pm


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