I am waiting to hear about the woman who had an affair with Tiger Woods and who is trying to keep that information to herself. This is the one of the many who, instead of thinking, “Where’s my fancy lawyer? Where’s my million dollars?” is instead thinking, “I did what I did with my eyes open, but I don’t want his wife to be hurt one more time. And I don’t want my mother to find out.” If you exist somewhere out there, you may not be perfect (that makes about 6 billion of us), but I applaud you. You are, in these days of tell-all TV and the lack of distinction between fame and notoriety, one of the few people left who knows how to be discreet.
Here’s what I say in the essay “Acquire Discretion”: “Discretion is the art of restraint.
People who have it do fewer foolish things. When they do behave foolishly, they don’t plaster the news on a billboard…When you are discreet, you protect yourself. You conserve your power. You become ‘less a satellite and more a sun’.” If you want to read the rest, it’s chapter 11 in Creating a Charmed Life
. But you get the point. You do the best you can. When you fall short, you’re brutally honest about it with one or two select people—your priest, your therapist, your AA sponsor, your closest friend—and then you shut up about it and get on with your life, even if it means walking away from a million dollars. When you do this, you have other working capital in the form of enough integrity to regroup, start over, and make wiser decisions going forward.
Photo of “Discretion” by 2lunas; photo of Creating a Charmed Life, courtesy of HarperCollins Publishers
Victoria Moran is a motivational speaker, the author of ten books, and a certified life coach and holistic health counselor. If you are interested in working one-on-one with Victoria, she is now accepting holistic health and spiritual direction clients, both in person in New York City and by phone around the country. If you would like a complementary discovery session, email email@example.com and put “sample session” in the subject line. And follow Victoria on Twitter: twitter.com/charmedlifelady.