Your Charmed Life

Your Charmed Life

The Next Indicated Thing

This is the latest I’ve ever blogged: after midnight in New York but earlier where the blog posts so I get in officially for Friday. I’m writing this now because, late as it is and with everything else going on, it is the next thing indicated.

This concept of doing whatever life presents, gratefully and gracefully, comes out of the 12 Step programs. I don’t know who started it or where, but it’s a lovely way to live at any time, and the only way to live when things are more uncertain than usual. 
This morning I got up and meditated. That was the first thing indicated. Then I straightened the apartment. And went to the drugstore for batteries and sponges and cat litter. I ate pineapple. 
My assistant came at 10 and we worked in tandem like a well-oiled machine. We got a lot done and lunched on luxurious smoothies with bananas and almonds and nutrient powder and cocoa. The late afternoon was planned: I’d go to the gym, shower and dress, and head downtown to teach a class at the New York Open Center. But my plans and life’s plans aren’t always the same. My daughter, Adair, called. Aspen, our dog who has been fighting cancer, had taken a turn for the worse. I said I’d come  now, so I threw clothes and makeup and class notes into a canvas grocery bag and headed to her place. 
Aspen was stable when I got there — still wagging and still enjoying food treats — but it was obvious that her joy/discomfort balance was rapidly heading toward tipping on the discomfort side. We called five vets about in-home euthanasia. Two could come on Monday. That’s a long time off.
So Adair and I talked and we both petted Aspen (and we petted Oliver, her other dog, who needs love even though he is young and able-bodied). I showered and got ready to teach my class. It was about crafting a spiritual life. They called it “Living with Heart and Soul.” I wished I could have stayed with Adair and the dogs, but I had to keep this commitment. It was the next indicated thing.
I arrived to a larger audience than I’d expected; there had been a lot of last-minute sign-ups. I told them I would have to keep my phone on during the class in case the vet called. She did, about 10 minutes into my remarks. I said “Excuse me” and talked to the doctor. Everyone was patient. “That was another vet who doesn’t work weekends,” I told the students after the call. “I know one who does,” said a woman named Lynda in the first row. I gave his number to Adair during the break and we’re counting on him to come through.
Doing the class got me out of myself and into the energy of the participants and the wonder of the topic: life’s great mysteries and how we can align ourselves with them. I had a fabulous time. I could tell I wasn’t fully present every minute — there was the tug of what’s going on with Aspen and Adair — but for two-and-a-half hours I gave them the best I had. It was the next indicated thing.
Afterwards, I went to dinner with two of the attendees, texting Adair a few times in the midst of it. (Yes, I detest seeing phones and Blackberries come out during dinner, too, but this was different. Life and death trump even courtesy.) Aspen is the same, came the report, and we know it’s time for her to be free. We still don’t have a housecall vet, and if one doesn’t surface in the morning, we’ll phone a car service, take her to the doggy hospital she’s familiar with, and let her go on. When that time comes, hard as it is, it will be the next indicated thing.
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Asela Z. Fiszer

posted June 27, 2009 at 8:16 am

I’ve read your “Shelter for the Spirit” book five times in my life thus far. When I first was married. When we first lived in our own house. When I lived on my own after a divorce. When I was re-married. (By the way, I had my second husband read it when we were dating to make certain he was in tuned with yours and now my philosophies) And I am now re-reading in once again while I pump milk for my almost two-year old. As a teacher of elementary children, I am always in awe of how the same book can be read and interpreted differently by many, or by the same individual, based upon what is happening in their lives. I am half-way through it, and once again savoring each word, and feeling each word more differently than ever.
As I finish re-reading “Shelter for the Spirit”, I will now will be reading it with doggie eyes and heart. I can only imagine what a wonderful life you and your daughter provided for Aspen. I can envision the comfortable nooks that he’s preferred throughout the years as well as the doggie hair left behind to mark the spots where he’s been. And the yummy smells in the home as well as the wagging of his tail whenever you or your daughter arrive home to play with him. I know that much love and positive energy is given to him as much as is given by him. And I also know when it’s time to let go as I did once with my childhood dog, Kiwi.
I will be thinking of you and your family as you go through this next thing indicated. And I will read my book with Aspen in my heart.
My dream is to meet you once day even though, through your words, I feel like we already have.

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Ann Adams

posted June 27, 2009 at 9:58 am

Please know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

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Heather Malotke

posted June 27, 2009 at 2:47 pm

“Do the next indicated thing” is my very favorite Victoria Moran tip. It has gotten me unstuck many, many times–especially since having my daughter 21 months ago.
Victoria, I am holding you, your family, and Aspen in my thoughts and heart this weekend.

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Linda Ruocco

posted June 27, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Dear Victoria,
I almost went to the Open Center last night and now I’m sorry I didn’t… please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers… I know what Aspen means to you and I know how hard this is for you and Adair…. Blessings…. and with Love, Linda xoxo

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posted June 27, 2009 at 4:31 pm

This is the first I’ve heard about your “next best thing,” and I know I’ll use it often. My prayers are with you as you structure time during this letting go process. I’ve been there before, often.

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posted June 27, 2009 at 4:49 pm

I still have the postcard you sent me with Do the next indicated thing written on it. It’s one of the pieces of wisdom I live by.
Whatever happens before we read your next piece, our love and thoughts are with you. Aspen’s soul may go home, but love lasts. That’s all we ever really have.

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Your Name

posted June 27, 2009 at 8:36 pm

My heart is heavy for what you are experiencing. last week i was at my best friend’s side as she allowed her beloved 13 year old dog to be released from an increasingly deteriorating life of pain and suffering. i was heartbroken for her loss but sharing in the moment of Cheyenne’s peacefully passing was powerfully touching as we knew she was finally free of all earthly limitations. i wish for you the ability to revel in your remaining time with Aspen-she surely knows how loved she is and always will be, for love has no boundries. Blessings to you all.

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posted June 27, 2009 at 9:50 pm

I am familiar with 12-step programs, but can you give me more information on the ‘next indicated thing?” It may be just what I need.
My thoughts are with you, Adair and Aspen.

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posted June 27, 2009 at 11:58 pm

Take care Victoria and know that we are all thinking of you, Adair and Aspen at this time. Think of the good times and the happy, loved puppy that Aspen is and always will be.
Oh, and never apologize for a late blog. We all understand and are right there with you at this time.
Love and hugs,

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Your Name

posted June 28, 2009 at 12:08 am

The “next indicated thing” really resonated with me, and I’ll be listening more closely for guidance to what that is for me.
Victoria, please accept my condolances at this time. I too am an animal lover and know what you’re going through. I held my family dog about 12 years ago as he was put to sleep. A heartbreaking day, but I’m glad I was with him. My parents couldn’t bear it and I understood that, but I didn’t want Higgins to be alone. He was ready to go and knew how much I, and all of us, loved him. It’s hard to do but when it’s the next indicated thing, you know it, as you obviously do now. Bless you.

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Victoria Moran

posted June 28, 2009 at 8:35 am

I just spent twenty minutes trying to post a comment that said (1) thanks from the bottom of my heart for the condolences about Aspen; and (2) giving more detail re: the next indicated thing to Kay who’d asked about that. There is a chapter on it in Creating a Charmed Life so I refer you there. For now, it’s just doing the next thing that’s before you to do, and when that’s done, doing the next thing that’s before you to do. It’s how cathedrals are built and mountains get climbed.

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posted June 29, 2009 at 6:17 am

I too have been following your “Do the next indicated thing” tip I’ve read about some years ago. I’m sorry you have to go through this with Aspen… it’s sad, I can understand how you and Adair must be feeling. I read about this on Monday, so although probably everything should be over by now, I truly hope Aspen got better in the meantime and that the fact that you had trouble finding a vet working on weekends would have a special meaning…

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Melody - Unity of Delray Beach

posted June 29, 2009 at 2:02 pm

Victoria, Again, I am so sorry about Aspen. As I said last time it was just April that I had to put my Dallas down as she lost her courageous battle with cancer. I sat on the floor with her and she layed in my lap as she closed her eyes for the last time. It was a very powerful and extremely heart breaking experience. I am now facing the same situation with her ailing sister, Ginger. Wouldn’t it be great if they lived as long as we do? My heart is with you and Adair at this time. I know how much you love her and she loves you for taking such good care of her for all these years. Just remember that once she is free she will be returned to perfect health and will be a vibrant, playful pup once again. Please give her a hug and a kiss on the nose for me! You are all in my prayers.

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appareil photo etanche

posted September 25, 2009 at 5:46 am

Hey take care of yourself.

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