Your Charmed Life

Your Charmed Life


Top 10 Ways to Stop Being Afraid

posted by Victoria Moran

Fear is running rampant in our country and our world. Every person who refuses to buy into the terror puts out a different energy. We’ll never overcome what we’re faced with if we can’t get the fear out of the way.

1.    Stop watching television – the news anyway. I’m not saying to put your head in the sand, just to get your news once a day from a good paper. (Heaven knows, we need to be supporting newspapers these days. Without them, the era of serious, edited and vetted journalism could come to an end. Now, that’s something to be afraid of.)

2.    Stop talking about how awful it is and how much worse it will get. It may be awful, but what will happen tomorrow or next year or five years from now, we don’t know. We can help, though, by expecting things tomorrow and year from now and five years from now to be a whole lot better, and basing our actions (and our conversations) on those expectations.

3.    Have some fun every day. People tell jokes at funerals and then they eat pie. This tells me that humans have to have fun, no matter how bleak things appear. It keeps us functional.

4.    Hang out with happy people.

5.    Act as if you’re fearless, even if you’re not. You’ll get used to acting that way and before you know it, you’ll realize you aren’t nearly as afraid as you thought you were.

6.    Pray a lot. How about, “without ceasing”? And throw some gratitude prayers in there, too.

7.    Do some good in the world – actively, noticeably. Sending a check is good; volunteering at a soup kitchen is better.

8.    Take care of your health. Your brain is part of your body and if you’re not taking care of yourself your thinking will deteriorate.

9.    Get enough sleep. If you’re too afraid to sleep, breathe in and out, saying “All is well” on the inhalation, and “God is in charge” on the exhalation. And help yourself by getting off caffeine, at least after 10 a.m. I used to know a psychiatrist who called coffee “paranoia punch” because he believed it contributed so much to increasing people’s fear levels.

10.     Get out of the drama of it all. Fear can be addictive since doom and gloom and Armageddon are, after all, more interesting than a ho-hum life. So, delete the ho-hum! Go dancing, learn a language, adopt a dog, teach a class, take a class, get out of your comfort zone and jazz things up. It might be a little scary, but that’s tingly-scary—it’s good, and proves you’ve alive. That other kind of scared, the mired-in-fear stuff, can make you wish you were dead.



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Jeanine

posted March 10, 2009 at 3:24 pm


Right on, Victoria! I loved this! Just what I need to hear and concentrate on right now.



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Pamela

posted March 10, 2009 at 3:36 pm


Thank you so much for this, Victoria! Just got an e-mail yesterday from a marketing person who I never thought would fall victim to the fear mongers. It can happen to any of us. Thank you for reminding us that we have choices in what we think, what we believe and what we watch and listen to.



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Kathy

posted March 10, 2009 at 3:41 pm


Yes, yes, yes! Thank you for sharing this so clearly! And thanks for the practical reminders.



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Lillian Buchanan

posted March 10, 2009 at 4:22 pm


I just read an article about Michael J. Fox and he talked about his life with Parkinson’s Disease. I was amazed and completely blessed with his comment about his life…”It just gets better from here”. Wow! Then I read your post about Stop Being Afraid and I feel completely saturated with blessings. Thank you.



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Donna Good

posted March 10, 2009 at 8:43 pm


great advice. especially loved nine and ten.



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Ryan

posted March 11, 2009 at 5:18 pm


Yeah – this is a really good list. 1,2,4,8 and 9 are more faves. Thanks for posting.



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LAURA

posted March 11, 2009 at 8:18 pm


I THINK THAT THESE 10 TIPS TO STOP BEING AFRAID OF LIFE IS GREAT. NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS APPLY THEM EVERYDAY OF OUR LIFE . AND PRAY PRAY SO GOD KNOW WE RESPECT HIM.



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lulu

posted March 26, 2009 at 1:40 am


Thanks. I needed to read this & God directed me here to do just that. I am getting so many fear mongering emails from people who don’t like how our election turned out and they are very depressing, so from now on, I’m going to try to just delete the divisive, fear mongering one’s and pray, hope and look for the best and the good in our world, and start counting my blessings more. I have so many and sometimes we forget that, don’t we? Praise God.



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Tim

posted March 26, 2009 at 7:26 pm


A friend sent this article to me. It is how I can tell she likes me



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Good Time Charlie

posted March 27, 2009 at 9:02 am


I believe number 5 is vital to how you feel. It does a couple of things for us, it puts a new message on our “mental tapes or CD’s” and it helps us to visualize ourselves in a position of strength. And it helps to know that God is in charge and why would he brings us this far just to let us fall through the cracks. And it doesn’t hurt to tell people “I’m not afraid of anything or anyone” but the other piece of that is “Honor All, Fear None” Hey I’m not doing anything to anyone that is offensive so what do I have to be afraid of, probably only myself and my own behavior. Anyway great topic for today.



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Your Name

posted March 27, 2009 at 9:51 am


Look…I just read out of my daily reading..my daily meditation on fear…it’s true..fear has me gripped..most days, I can’t think, I’m confused, I can’t lose my keys, I lose my dates, I am the most emotional person and I stop frozen and gripped when I’m scared. But, I think that there is hope..and I know I am better than I was. I know it, you can’t be in your own ego they say…fear, doubt, insecurity..when you get gripped with those three..those are the killers..it’s your own humility that will save you..reach to others..if you can, if you possibly can, trust..and I trust..and thats all I have..it’s all I’ve ever had, reach to others..and keep going.



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RobinB

posted March 27, 2009 at 3:48 pm


The dirty four letter word, strongest in our vocabulary and hardest to identify. Sometimes the best I can do is pray for the ability to identify it- Thanks for the list!



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Tessa

posted March 27, 2009 at 6:02 pm


And may I add: going out and connecting with nature: beach, forest, parks, flowers, animals, little babies and starry skies in silence, sunrises and sunset watching! Thanks for this blog – it is always very soothing and uplifting to read about likeminded people!



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Your Name

posted March 27, 2009 at 10:26 pm


Fear is the one scourge humnanity is suffering from the most! So this was definitely a good topic. But as a Christian I believe strongly in Jezus’ promise, when He said to His men (and by them to us!)”Fear not, for I am with you till the end of time!” He didn’t promise us an impeccable road, or the absence of swelterin heat, or torrential rains, or raging storms, in a way of speaking, but what He promised is the abundance of consolation by this stron promise. He WILL be with us, no matter what, come hell or high water, so why should I fear?! Of course it’s a matter of faith, of great faith!



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Sherrie

posted March 28, 2009 at 2:21 am


This is a great topic and helped alot. Thanks bunches!



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Chichi

posted March 28, 2009 at 2:49 am


Fear is a way of not acknowledging the presence of God in our lives. As we struggle through everyday, we should give thanks to God that we still have the strenght to thank him for all his mercies towards us. If God gave us the most precious gift – his son to die for us- what makes us think that he will not handle small and tiny everyday problems. We should embrace life and its problems knowing that it is a test of our faith. Our God does not sleep or lies. Problems are ways that God teaches us humility, gratitude and other values. We should not have fears or worries.



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Your Name

posted March 28, 2009 at 5:47 am


Good article. I’m going to print it out and keep it next to my bed, although I already do a lot of what you say. However, I don’t believe fear is necessarily the enemy. Panic is, of course, and so is unreasonable fear, but rational fear is a gift, I think. Rational fear helps to let me know when I am in danger. If I didn’t have some reasonable fear (which I don’t dwell on) I wouldn’t lock my doors and windows at night before I go to bed. Rational fear of losing my house (I was laid off 8 months ago) helps me stick to a budget and to make Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C if I do lose my house. Rational fear keeps me from going downtown at night, where we have a murder almost every night. Etc., etc. I still sleep well at night because I don’t worry much, I don’t have a TV (by choice), I have a nice going-to-bed ritual, and because I go to sleep sincerely thanking God and I put my fears and worries in His/Her hands. I believe Jesus was afraid in The Garden and continued to be afraid as He went to the cross, so I do not beat myself up when I find myself afraid.



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Your Name

posted March 28, 2009 at 8:20 am


My mother loved musicals, and taught us so many songs, especially from Rogers & Hammerstein. I still remember all the words to “Whenever I feel afraid”…I find myself often listening to songs in my heart when I’m afraid, and remembering how brave ones, before me, have been. The ferocious cat of Fear seems ready to pounce on us from every angle. I find it strengthening to stand “porter” at the door of my thinking, watching (‘work, work, work, WATCH and pray’) and filtering as I can, all the images and thoughts that oppose the power of Good, God. Sometimes I get so busy or fatigued, and see how little paw prints of doom have crept into my world…and then I have to re-position. At least I know how to do that. I am so grateful to know of God’s omnipresent Love and Care for all of his children. And it’s helpful to have a song in your heart everyday.



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Donna

posted March 28, 2009 at 8:57 am


I believe; in common sense way; you are so, on the spot with the 10 ways! Being Bipolar; I remind myself everyday to keep the FAITH; it keeps my head above water to think like, your 10 ways! Thanks! For your added strength! Donna



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Vee

posted March 28, 2009 at 10:21 am


Yea, great topic and good advise.
Fear, in moderation, like everything else, is good. When I have too much or too little of it, that’s when I need to look at it!
Good reminder to stay humble today. Thanks:)7



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gloria

posted March 28, 2009 at 10:30 am


I needed inspiration this morning. Lived my life with a Father with Multiple Sclerosis, who could be nasty and was afraid to have friends over. After his passing I was relieved – the stress was gone. Then about twenty years later my son was Diagnosed with Schizophrenia -I thought to myself, why me – why again?
I am still trying to deal with my past and my present. I know that God put me here for a reason and that is to take care of my son.
It’s not easy having to work and I deal with a lot of depression.
But I am thankful to get up every morning and start a new day. I do pray to God, but not as much as I should. Thought of going to a therapist, but they can’t do what God does.
I keep trying every day to be strong. I know that there is a reason for all of this in my life and some day I will find the answer, not in this life.



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Brett

posted March 28, 2009 at 11:16 am


WOnderfully written and well thought out inspiration. I am a big believer in the propigation of emotions and thoughts. When we see individuals surrounding themselves with low mood stimulus (i.e. media/entertainment news, pessimistic people, unhealthy environments), we invariably see higher instances of depression, anxiety, fear and anger. When we see people surrounding them with high mood stimulus (i.e. laughter, service activities, encouraging people, exercise), we surely will see increased occurances of happy, healthy and successful people.
If you want to see a change in your life, change what you are doing in it.
Bravo and God Bless!



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cathy

posted March 28, 2009 at 12:04 pm


Thank you ,these are simple but oh so crucial to the opptomism needed now



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Your Name

posted March 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm


these were very good



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Ashley Huntley

posted March 28, 2009 at 12:41 pm


This was definitely a great topic. In life it is easy to get caught up in the problems in our life. It can be all to easy to get sucked up in our fears and let them control our lives. But if we can keep a positive attitude, fear can never overtake us.



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Your Name

posted March 28, 2009 at 2:37 pm


Dear Gloria, I say this with all the Christian Hearted love in the world, please believe me! But I couldn’t help but be extremely taken in by your post for the simple reason that though you discuss your fathers illness, and then the illness of your son…your comment was “why me” I’m not sure these illnesses are really something that are happening to you. Though you are definately effected by them I know. I guess I am trying to say, perhaps you are not cursed but Called…not stricken but Choosen? Just a thought…be blessed Austin



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Your Name

posted March 28, 2009 at 3:30 pm


What a well written article! How fast and easily fear can take over our lives…and without us even realizing it! I make it a habit of not watching the news on a regular basis because it is DEPRESSING!!! She raises so many important facts about your well-being as well as keeping your fear in check. People tend to forget the brain is very much a part of your physical well being too! It is a very POWERFUL tool! It’s amazing how much control we really have over it. I believe in surrounding yourself with happy people as well…smiles really are contageous. I agree caffeine contributes to fear. I truly enjoyed reading this piece. Thank you!



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Grammie

posted March 28, 2009 at 3:56 pm


I have had much trouble detaching myself from a long friendship with a person who has a toxic personality. This person is very smart and has been a much admired teacher, but in private is forever putting others down in a mean spirited way. Anxiety about the future drives this individual to not only obsess, but turn positive possibilities into nightmarish scenarios. How does one gracefully back away from someone like this?



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Your Name

posted March 28, 2009 at 5:02 pm


Victoria,
I was drawn to your list of 10 things to do to overcome fear. It is spot on with what I have been feeling as of late.
I lost my job last month and have been unsuccessful in finding employment. After a good month of tireless effort I must say I am exhausted emotionally and physically.
Recently, I have been having mood swings where all I want to do cry because, my thought keeping going to that dark place that is fear. My thoughts my will start with one negative thing then from there off on a tangent. The next thing I know my heart starts racing along with my mind and I just want to find a safe place to hide.
For the next week, I am going to try your suggested 10 things and see if that does not make a difference.
God Bless
Kathy



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Lil Green Mama

posted March 28, 2009 at 5:22 pm


Thanks for the “10 Ways to stop being afraid.” It was right on point.
Today the news give us the blues. We need an article we choose.
We need to focus on fun and normalcy. To exist in this society.
We need to feed our brains. We need no more tears flowing like rain.
I’m tired of gasping air. Everytime I hear what’s going on everywhere.
I’m a poetress to the “T” I need to consecrate on publishing me.
Yes, I am going to be careful too. I suggest this all of us do.
And listen to the 10 we read. Leaving fear behind, going on ahead.
From Lil Green Mama
The ‘garden lady’
By the way, plant some food, so when times get tough, you can get up and go outside and pick your meal out, with a smile.
PEACE! Shalom! Believe in the peace of God!



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Your Name

posted March 28, 2009 at 8:31 pm


The suggestions are great and right on time. God keeps his promises in the midst of a storm. He can do anything but fail.



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kidnik

posted March 29, 2009 at 1:09 am


Spot on, especially with the news! I’d rather read some good books instead. And saying a prayer always helps!



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Your Name

posted March 29, 2009 at 2:02 am


Hi,
I am having a similar problem. For Lent, I gave up gossiping. My friend and I do that a lot and I really don’t like it. So, when I told her in advance my plans, she laughed at me. Well, so far, I have not been a very good example. But, I haven’t done it as much. It makes me sad to do it, but when I am around her, I gossip more. I don’t know how to distance myself from her without hurting her feelings. We have been friends for over 20 years, but I find myself drained after every encounter. She expects me to pay for her meals and take her places, as well. It wouldn’t be so bad, but when I ask her to contribute, she is always broke. As a result, I haven’t taken her anywhere for at least 2 months or more. Well, good luck Grammie and hope we find a way to just distance ourselves more and more from caustic relationships.
on March 28, 2009 3:56 PM GRAMMIE wrote:
I have had much trouble detaching myself from a long friendship with a person who has a toxic personality. This person is very smart and has been a much admired teacher, but in private is forever putting others down in a mean spirited way. Anxiety about the future drives this individual to not only obsess, but turn positive possibilities into nightmarish scenarios. How does one gracefully back away from someone like this?



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Mairead

posted March 29, 2009 at 7:07 am


I Loved your Topic on Fear
If I feel fearful a friend told me to remember the breakdown of F.E.A.R. + FALE EVIDEANCE APPEARING REAL.
Keep focussing on that and you will be amazed at how it can make you look a fear in a different way.
Angel Blessings
Mairead



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MAIREAD

posted March 29, 2009 at 7:18 am


MY APOLOGIES THE WORD SPELT FALE SHOULD HAVE READ FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL.
P.S. EXCUSE THE SHOUTING BUT I NEEDED TO HAVE SAME AMMENDED IN CASE IT CONFUSED PEOPLE
ANGEL BLESSINGS
MAIREAD



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Deb

posted March 29, 2009 at 9:25 am


Wow! I loved this blog!
Gloria, a therapist can’t do what God does, but sometimes God uses therapists to help us see the light. My life looked like a Jerry Springer re-run for years (talk about toxic fear), but a therapist helped me dig into my own determination to be free and well. And I know finding her had everything to do with God.
Grammie, you are not obligated to continue listening to anger simply because you have agreed to listen in the past. The kindest thing you can do for your friend is to tell the truth. When people are permitted to rant, the anger builds in their own heart. It just isn’t healthy.
Again, thank you, thank you, thank you for this blog!



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Your Name

posted March 29, 2009 at 7:36 pm


my life has not been good but for the times i had my children. Three beautiful boys gave me a life that was sober and out of trouble.With out them I wouldn’t have anything to live for.But i still have so much fear in my life that i have panic attacks everyday,I’ve started to pray and try to believe Jesus loves me though i am sinning i can’t help but feel lost and alone.



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Marian Parish

posted March 30, 2009 at 5:50 pm


Looking forward to subscribing!



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Cindy

posted March 31, 2009 at 12:11 am


Your name, I promise you are not alone, Fear not even while you sleep, for the will protect you. Do not be afraid to close your eyes for the Lord is awake watching over you, put your trust in him, and you will find peace.



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Cindy

posted March 31, 2009 at 12:17 am


That for is the Lord will



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Your Name

posted March 31, 2009 at 11:31 am


Your name I feel your painl. I have 3 sons as well. I have now found myself gridding my teeth in my sleep. Stress and worry has led to this.I believe in the Lord, but I donot trust him. As though it seems. I take my problems to him when I pray to him, but I often find myself picking the problems right back up and taking them with me when I leave him. Why? That is a good question. Only God knows. Sometimes I feel as though he does not hear me.



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Desire'e

posted March 31, 2009 at 2:58 pm


Thankgod It’s only a game!



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Victoria Moran

posted April 1, 2009 at 9:57 am


Thanks for the comments, everybody, and to Kathy: there is the ideal job looking for you just as you are looking for it. Everybody who’s reading this: let’s hold Kathy in the Light and life her up with our prayers. Let’s know for her that she’s supposed to be working in a job she enjoys, for good money, and serving the greater good. And so it is.



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Your Name

posted April 2, 2009 at 5:36 pm


Thanks Beliefnet for all the wonderful inspirationals you share with millions on your pages. I pray that your labour be rewarded abundantly in this life and that hereafter.
Please, continue with this style of presentation all in one page. I think it’s more interesting this way rather than navigating from page to page especially for some of us whose servers may be quite slow.
Many times in the Bible, God has always implored us not to be afraid. And His grace is sufficient for us. Thanks be to God!
God bless us all.



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Rachel c

posted April 11, 2009 at 9:26 pm


i love how you said stop living like your afraid get out there and do stuff and you will get use to it it is so simple…..hard and true all at the same time thank you



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bethany willis

posted August 21, 2011 at 4:26 am


Thank you to whoever wrote this page. i’m 10 years old and i am moving to secondary school very soon. i am really worried about it. but this has helped me to calm down and realize there is not much to be worried about so thank yo very much.



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Lois

posted December 30, 2011 at 6:05 pm


Thanks for the advice. I am always afraid lately, especially when I am home alone, which is always these days.
Thanks so much!



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slw

posted January 22, 2012 at 11:01 pm


I love this thank you sow. Much



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