Beliefnet
You Can Sit With Us

How many times a day would you say you apologize? Do you feel you are having to apologize because you are more prone to “ commit personal offenses” a.k.a. we think were making everyone mad when we speak up about our needs and wants in a clear and concise way.

Do women apologize too much? I was talking with some of my girlfriends and every one of them has felt or feels that they have to shrink themselves down just so they don’t get labeled difficult, “as in a bitch”. We think we can’t ask for too much, expect too much, or even go after our own dreams because that would be too selfish of us.

Case in point……

I have sent text messages to people in my life profusely apologizing over being late, not responding in a “timely manner, having to cancel plans, stretching myself too thin; you name it, I’ve probably said it. Everyone is either walking around ready to snap or dodging any and all possible confrontations with endless apologies.

 

Don’t kill me but I can’t make it tonight. I have a deadline at work and a sick child. Don’t be mad.

I’m soooo sorry, please forgive me. I will make it up to you. You are the best! XOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXO

Sound Familiar?

According to many studies like Karina Schumann, a doctoral student in social psychology, says if you think you hear women saying I’m sorry more than men, you are right. Men have a higher threshold for what they think warrants reparation. In comparison to the number of offenses by both sexes, there was very little difference. In comparison to the number of times an apology was made, there were significant differences between the sexes.

We, ladies seem to think we do a lot wrong. I believe a great deal of the issues surrounding why we spend so much time apologizing is because we will be labeled pushy, inconsiderate, selfish, and the “oldie but goody” a bitch if we present our needs and wants in a confident and unapologetic way.

Women have more connectivity between the left brain and the right brain, thus making us more emotional and more sensitive to how other people are feeling. Hence, the apologizing!

I’m a firm believer in saying “ I’m sorry because it truly does change the atmosphere in the room when considering how another person feels. However, women are feeling more like a burden than a blessing in their lives. Don’t allow others to rob you of your plans, hopes, and dreams because you become too consumed with how others will perceive you versus what you desire from this one and only precious life. There is always a balance in everything we do. Are we to be considerate, yes! Are we to be gracious, yes! Are we to use our manners, yes! Are we to see another’s point of view, yes! Are we to address what we need and want too, yes! How will we ever reach our goals if we are shrinking violets? If you don’t build your dreams, someone will hire you to build theirs- Tony Gaskin

Remember, Jesus was hated by thousands during his time on earth but he did not waiver from his plan nor his character. Not everyone is going to like you and that is o.k.

 

This post is dedicated to Dianna Corcoran- singer/songwriter, beautiful soul

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