Proposition 8, the California initiative defining marriage as being only between a man and a woman was voted into law by a 52% majority and black voters favored that outcome by a margin of 70%. In fact, Evangelical Christians were the only numerically significant demographic to favor Prop 8 by a larger margin – 80%. Those statistics leave many astounded at the seeming incongruity of one minority being so hostile to another. But it’s far from clear that is a fair analysis of the facts.

Why is opposition to Prop 8 synonymous with homophobia, as many insist? According to news reports, proudly gay music star, Elton John, favors civil unions over gay marriages. Is he a homophobe?
Is there no room for people who have genuine concern about the rights of gay people, yet maintain reservations about redefining marriage, the definition of which has been largely agreed upon in the Western world for 1,000 years? Perhaps that kind of redefinition would be better accomplished in a healthier way through a longer process of consensus building that through a polarizing political fight.
Admittedly, were I voting in California, I would probably have voted against Prop 8, favoring a civil definition of marriage that includes same-sex couples. Yet, in the interest of full disclosure, I admit that I am also a rabbi who refrains from officiating at the marriages of same-sex couples. And before the extremists on both sides call, “hypocrite”, I will explain my rationale.

As a traditional Jew, my best understanding of what is religiously demanded of my by God, precludes gay marriage. But I do not believe that my understanding need be everybody’s for two important reasons. First, while I believe that religious wisdom can contribute to our thinking about public affairs, there is no room in this country for religion dogma to make public policy.

Second, experience teaches me that when it comes to hearing the voice of God, there are many ways to hear. In fact, if the voice of the God in whom any of us believes can be compressed into a single understanding or doctrine, we would be listening to a very small God. And the God in whom I believe is infinitely large.
So for reasons both Constitutional, and philosophical, I would probably have voted against proposition 8. But that does not mean I would count all those who voted differently as homophobes or self-serving minorities who would deny others the very rights which they have attained for themselves. And that is also why, despite significant data indicating plenty of anti-gay sentiment in the black community, equating opposition to gay marriage with homophobia, seems an unwarranted leap.
I wonder instead, if these numbers point to a new opportunity to engage people who appreciate the importance and the complexity of the struggle for rights. I wonder if having a President-Elect who was raised by his grandmother, we don’t have an opportunity to open a national conversation of the redefinition of family. I wonder if that wouldn’t be more helpful than labeling as hateful, those with whom we may disagree about public policy, even one as important as the definition of marriage.