Loyalty
“Even when you don’t want to talk to people about the way you might be feeling, try talking to them anyways. It might just free you from yourself and give you a new perspective.”- Alexis Wohler.
That was what came to my mind and what I realized after being at a get together, where two people I trust, asked me about how searching for a job was going.
Lately I’ve been struggling with the stress, anger and fear of not being able to find a full-time job. I’ve been out of school for almost a year and I haven’t been able to find a full time writing job. There are so many jobs out there that I have applied for, that it is so disheartening when I can’t find any that spark my interest, or when I don’t hear back from the companies I see myself working for.  It is hard to find the motivation to look for jobs when nothing good seems to be happening. Don’t misunderstand though-I love the freelance work I have been able to do. I wouldn’t trade those experiences for the world. But my main goal is to secure a full-time job in writing for any company. That is my priority.
 I know God put writing in my heart and mind as one of the main things I want to do as a career. He has put the desire to write for Him and to help other people through my words. He has engraved it into my heart so deeply, that I know the words I write in these blogs or in any piece I write, all come from Him. Whether the piece is faith based or not, it all comes from Him telling me what to write and how to write it. Some days though, I struggle with writer’s block as I’m sure we all have.
Recently, there was a get together that I wasn’t too sure about going to, in fear that a lot of people would ask about me having a job. I was at a point where I felt like giving up in my job search for that particular day. You know how it is, when you feel if someone says something, you might lose your cool without meaning to. With that frustration of not being able to find a job, comes anger, both at myself and at the fact that it almost felt like my degree was pointless. But I know that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I know I have my two degrees for a reason and that I’m meant for wonderful things.
After talking to those two people I mentioned in the beginning, I felt a lot better because I was able to get some of the frustrations that had been building up on that particular day, off my chest. It felt freeing to tell someone what I was going through and what I’d been through in the job search. I also realized that if I hadn’t talked to those people, none of the stress would have been released. If I had chosen to stay home I’d missed the opportunities to talk to people that genuinely cared about me.
The point that I’m trying to make to everyone is this- even if talking to someone is the last thing you want to do, just tell someone how you feel, before your emotions boil over and cause you to get sick or cause you to say something out of anger that you’ll definitely regret later on. Even if that person or those people aren’t your immediate family members or your closest friends, it is okay to let them know how things are going and how you’re feeling. It sure helped me feel better and I’m sure it can help you feel better too. Sometimes it is the people that aren’t the closest to us that offer the new fresh perspectives that we’ve never even noticed before. Allow yourself to be free from the burdens that fill your heart by sharing your fears., hopes, struggles and especially your dreams with others. After all, if they didn’t care about you, they wouldn’t ask how you are doing. Some days it is way easier to talk to the people outside of your immediate family than it is to tell your immediate family why you feel the way you feel. As I said before, allow yourself to open up and tell those you trust, what is really going on in your life. I’m not saying throw every little detail in their face though, either. That will freak them out and probably scare them away, not to mention, give them a negative view of you. You don’t want that for them and you especially don’t want to be looked down upon as a negative nelly either.
I know that sayings that, “everything will work out”, and “keep the faith and trust His plan and His timing.” I know in my heart that He has is plan lined up for each and every one of us. Faith is believing in something that you can’t see- even though we can’t see God, He is there. Even though we don’t know what will happen day to day or in the future of our lives, God is there too.  Allow yourself the opportunity to open up to others and share some of your concerns and struggles. You might find that the people you tell, are going through something similar. Never be afraid to talk to people, if they didn’t care about you, then they wouldn’t even ask how you are. They ask not to get on your nerves or stress you out, but to start a friendship and foster a relationship with you. Sometimes it is so much easier to talk to the people that aren’t in your immediate family, than it is to talk to the people you see in your everyday life. Let go of the stress you feel by opening up to someone you know you can trust.
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