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Watchwoman on the Wall

REMEMBER THIS IS HUM☺R

 

Hey Gang,

A friend told me tonight that maybe there really is global warming.  And I said Nahhh we just went through one of the coldest winters on record.  Its just the age of extremes.  Like the obesity epidemic going on while people are starving to death.  Its either feast or famine. Which leads me right into my topic.

The Obesity Epidemic.

Well now we have another war, the war on fat.  The new battle of the bulge.

Rep. Stephen King of Iowa said the gov now wants to tell people what to eat.  The energy bar has about 150 calories.  People eat it for the quick energy.  The gov wants to cut it down to 90 calories.  King went on to say kids won’t be satisfied with 90 calories so they will buy two.  And instead of 150 calories you now will have 180.  Even with chips and Doritos  the gov wants them to cut down on calories.  How will they do it?  By putting a few less chips in a bag.  Rep. King, I hear ya loud and clear.

Is this what we want our gov to do?  They can’t reduce spending but they want to reduce our weight.  UGHHHH!

And government always fights itself.  Here is a good example.  Michelle Obama is trying to do something about obesity and there is Ron Paul trying to legalize pot.  Everyone knows you smoke pot, you get the munchies and you get lazy.  Maybe he should try to legalize crack, the real diet pill.

Here are some interesting statistics.  They say people are the fattest in our Southern states.  Well no kidding.  Do you feel like exercising when its 98 degrees?  And people weigh less in Colorado.  Well of course, its higher elevation, the scales work differently.

 If only our fearless leader Obama would relax and the let the economy breath maybe jobs would return, people would work again and people would lose weight instead of sitting collecting welfare and eating snacks.

So I bring to you my top ten ways to make people lose weight.

10. Makes forks and spoons smaller.

9. Pass a law that all you can eat buffets serve nothing but salad and granola bars.

8. Continue Obama’s energy policy which will make people walk everywhere.

7. Put scales at the check outs of restaurants and grocery stores, it you weigh more than you should you pay a fat tax of 25%

6. Arrest Burger King, Ronald McDonald, Jack in the Box and Wendy and put them in Gitmo.

5. Deport all illegal Mexicans and make lazy Americans cut their own grass.

4.  Convince people the less you weigh the more MPG’s you will get in your car.

3. Revive the Twiggy craze.

2. Take the Food Network off the air.

And the Number One Way to Make People Lose Weight Is…..

Make sure Obama is a two termer because after 8 years no one will be able to afford to eat.

                                             – – Carey Masci

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