Perhaps you’ve been following Madonna’s latest shpping expedition.

Sharing one’s wealth to help poverty-stricken children in Malawi: good thing.

Taking a child who has a father from his home into a radically different environment in which, let’s just admit, the "mother" is probably going to do precious little personal care for her own child, when that mother could single-handedly change the lives of scores of children in a lasting way within that environment : hmmm.

Very interested to hear from parents involved in international adoption on this one.

"What we’re saying is, rather than taking this child overseas and caring for him in a totally alien environment, why not support the father to take care of his own son in his own community?" said Philippa Lei of the World Vision group.

Banda’s mother died shortly after giving birth, but his father is alive and has told reporters that he only intended to leave David in the orphanage for a short time. He did, however, welcome Madonna’s decision to adopt his son.

From Peggy, in the comments – who knows of the complicated nature of this type of situation:

Our boys are from Russia, brought back in ’04.  Their bio parents, unmarried, were deemed alcoholic and unfit.  They were in an orphanage for 6 mos before being eligible for international adoption.  The people of Russia have become concerned about children leaving the country.  The judges who hear the cases do not enjoy being rubber stamps.  I can appreciate their feelings. 

Unlike Madonna, we went through the rigors of everything one does for a US domestic adoption.  We also had to make additional showings of good physical and mental health and financial stability.  We were stuck in Siberia for a week waiting on some snag to be resolved.  That there was a US holiday during that time did not help.  You (Amy) recently posted articles about the bleakness of life in Russia.  That’s what the boys had to look forward to, plus being in an institution up to the age of majority, then on the streets with few life skills or resources.  The social workers and caregivers at the orphanage were so grateful for us taking both children and that they’d have a home and a future.

I am concerned that Madonna did not go through the rigors [did Angelina Jolie?] of the nation from which the child came.  In some regards it seems like a tough call.  We met all kinds of "gray-haireds" who should be awaiting grandchildren, with infants.  Those infants are far better off in America, but it’s a bit uneasy to think of the self-centeredness that goes into some of it. 
A couple has to decide whether they want a family or A BABY. [Do you get the difference?]

If Malawi is against taking children out of the country, then so be it.  I would not adopt from there given the 18 mo obligation to live in the country.  They want the children to remain.  I am dismayed at Madonna taking the child out so surreptitiously.  Yet, one could see that the child will have many more chances in life than if he stayed in Malawi, even if he doesn’t know real love of a family.  One African comenter at BBC said the kid’ll be worse off.  He can’t go back.  His family will hound him for money etc.

In the end, she should have respected the country’s wishes and perhaps funded the family from afar, as a sponsor.  Or something similar?  Or go to a more friendly nation?  Or keep a secondary residence in Malawi?  She can afford it, of course.

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