Beliefnet
The Queen of My Self


MARCH

March is the time of fertility leading to the returning light and the rebirth of nature. It is often symbolized by the egg. What hopes and dreams are you preparing to bring forth in the coming spring?


Give birth to the world, River.
Give birth to the world, Running Stream.
We beg to be full, we beg to be full,
we beg to be full.
Teach the head, teach the head,
teach the head,
Embrace the head of mothers, make them
wise again, wise again, wise again,
Teach the tradition to those
who do not know.
Open your arms to women
that flee to safety.
My mother, I pay respect, I pay respect,
I pay respect.
We shout to your ear mother.
Come continually mother,
be patient and understand us.
Teach worthiness
as we honor you on the ground.
We honor you on the ground,
we honor you on the ground,
we honor you on the ground.
Let our deeds of charity habitually pull you.
My mother, house of tradition.
Your symbols possess fullness.
Queen of the mirror,
Queen of Dance,
Queen of Abundance,
Queen of Joy,
Queen of Health.
My wealth arrives, my wealth arrives,
my wealth arrives.
Mother arise.
Arise inside of us.
Arise inside, arise inside, arise inside.
Teach us to have understanding.
Help us to be revered Ancestors.
We humble ourselves before you.
You, who give effective treatment
to children.
You, who give fertility to people
and projects.
You, who are Queen of the river.
Ósun, come into my house.
Ósun, come into my house.
Ósun, come into my house.

 

***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

Allow me to offer blessings of pride to all of Irish heritage.

However, I cannot say, “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.”

St. Patrick, a Christian missionary in the fifth century, is said to have rid Ireland of snakes (which were never actually indigenous there). Snakes symbolize the archetypal power of the Feminine Divine – the kundalini vivifying energy of the Great Goddess.

On the sacred isle of Eire, She was known as Brigid, beloved Great Mother Goddess of the Celts. As such, She was an aberration to the Church. So St. Patrick informed the Celts that from now on the Goddess Brigid was to be referred to as St. Brigid, an apocryphal mortal woman, a devout Christian, and NOT the powerful divinity of the people.

So, really, St. Patrick is glorified for having rid Ireland of pagan Goddess worship. But he did not defeat the intense adoration that She inspired.The flame at the shrine for St.Brigid in Kildare has been kept alive continually to this day. The fire and the passion of the Goddess is tended by Catholic nuns.

St. Patrick’s patriarchal  proclamation was approximately 1500 years ago.Yet, Brigid lives indomitably on in Ireland’s holy wells and sacred flames, and in the hearts of the people.

In the same way that Columbus Day and Thanksgiving are not happy holidays for Native Americans, St. Patrick’s Day is shunned by those Irish folks who embrace their Celtic heritage and culture. Instead, they celebrate Brigid’s Day on February 2, Imbolc, the halfway point of winter, when Her fiery presence is most felt in the gathering light of the sun, the quickening of the life force.

So skip the green beers, the green bagels, and the phony snake story. But do put on the green anyway. Wear green in honor of the coming spring and the springing up of the grasses of new life.

***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.


FEBRUARY

 Is when we celebrate love. It is an ideal time to think about loving and caring for ourselves, which is where all love and nurturing comes from. We can’t say, “I love you” unless we can say, “I”!


By Wendi Knox

It’s more about the words we choose and the tone we take when talking to ourselves.

In fact, if you start paying attention to the conversations between You and You, you’ll hear things you’d never dream of saying to someone else.

(If a friend lost her car keys would you call her “Stupid?” Or if she had a little cellulite, would you dub her a “Fat Pig?” I rest my case.)

Everyday, our Inner Critics give us a  blow-by-blow assessment of how our faces, necks, arms. thighs, butts, stomachs, hair, skills, talents, love life and “you-name-its” don’t measure up to that supermodel, movie star or What’s-Her-Name.

And the truth is, deep down, not even What’s-Her-Name thinks she’s pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, successful enough or _____________enough either.

Of course, we don’t mean to treat our precious selves so harshly. But it seems to be what we’re programmed to do.

Somewhere, somehow, we got the message it wasn’t “nice” to be nice to the face in the mirror. So, we save all our kindness, empathy and words of encouragement for everyone else.

But ironically, though, the more we learn to direct our love inward, the more we receive from the outside world.

So, with that in mind, here are five Valentine gifts you can easily give yourself:

1. Baby yourself. The thing is,we love babies unconditionally.

I mean really, have you ever said “You dummy. Don’t you know how to walk yet?”

Of course not. We tell wannabe toddlers “Good try” when their wobbly little legs give way. We allow for the fact that they’re learning and growing. And we love them for it. (Hint-hint.)

2. See the best. Forget the rest. The next time you look in the mirror, instead of automatically zeroing in on what you don’t like, shift your focus.

Find something positive to say to yourself. (For instance, I’m trying to focus on the color of my eyes, instead of the dark circles under them.)

In fact, when no one’s around, I’ll even been known to compliment my reflection.. I know it sounds crazy. But it feels good.

3. Think before you speak.

When my son was in kindergarten, he was taught to ask three questions before speaking to someone: “Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?”

I never forgot those questions. And neither should you when you’re about to dis yourself.

4. Literally create a new conversation.

All you need are some scissors, paper and markers. Cut out some hearts and write the kindest, most loving things you can say to yourself on them.

If you’re at a loss for words, start with “Love ya” or “Imperfectly perfect.” And then, tape your “conversation hearts” on your mirror, under your pillow or wherever you could use some love and encouragement.
***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.


FEBRUARY

 Is when we celebrate love. It is an ideal time to think about loving and caring for ourselves, which is where all love and nurturing comes from. We can’t say, “I love you” unless we can say, “I”!


Remember when:

You were born a daughter.
you looked up to your mother.
you looked up to your father.
you looked up to everyone.
you wanted to be a princess.
you wanted to own a horse.
you wanted your brother to be a horse.
you wanted to wear pink.
you never wanted to wear pink.
you wanted to be a veterinarian.
you wanted to be president.
you wanted to be the president’s veterinarian.
you were picked last for the team.
were the best one on the team.
you refused to be on the team.
you wanted to do well in algebra.
you hid during algebra.
you wanted boys to notice you.
you were afraid the boys would notice you.
you started to get acne.
you started to get breasts.
you started to get acne that was
bigger than your breasts.
you couldn’t wait to wear a bra.
you wouldn’t wear a bra.
you couldn’t fit into a bra.
you didn’t like the way you looked.
you didn’t like the way your parents looked.
you didn’t want to grow up.
you had your first best friend.
you had your first date.
you spent hours on the telephone.
you got kissed.
you got to kiss back.
you didn’t go to the prom.
you went to the prom with the wrong person.
you spent hours on the telephone.
you fell in love.
you fell in love.
you fell in love.
you lost your best friend.
you lost your other best friend.
you really fell in love.
you became a steady girlfriend.
you became a significant other.
you became significant to yourself.
sooner or later, you start to take
yourself seriously.
you know when you need a break.
you know when you need a rest.
you know what to get worked up about, and
what to get rid of and you know
when it’s time to take care of yourself,
for yourself to do something that makes you
stronger,faster,more confident.
because you know it’s never too
late to live life and never too late to change one.
***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.