The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

An Empowering Mantra for Self-Esteem

posted by Donna Henes

Affirmations are positive statements that describe a desired situation or state of being. For example, “I am healthy, I radiate well being.” “I am a good and honorable person with a loving heart.” “I am capable beyond all measure.” Etc.

Affirmations can help you to transform your life by reframing your internal Self talk. By stating what you want to be true in your life, and describe it in the present tense, you are able to envision it and feel it as being true. So you begin to really believe in positive possibilities and in your own capabilities.

Affirmations are meant to be repeated like mantras. The more you say them, the more you believe them. The more you believe in your intentions being real, the more able you are to direct your energy toward the actualization that you desire.

Women often have self-limiting expectations because we memorized and internalized all of the negative messages that we grew up hearing in our families, in school and in the media. Constant repetition has caused us to internalize negative attitudes.

Words and statements work both ways, to build or to destroy. It is the way we use them that determines whether they are going to bring good or harmful results.

If you keep telling yourself that you cannot do something, that you are too lazy, lack the requisite intelligence or inner strength, or that you are going to fail, your spirit accepts what it keeps hearing as being true and attracts situations to prove its veracity.

In order to ensure their effectiveness, affirmations should be repeated with attention, conviction, interest and desire. The repeated words form a mental image that helps you to focus your mind on your aim and to trigger you into taking positive actions to realize your goals.

It is important to understand that repeating positive affirmations for a few minutes, and then thinking negatively the rest of the day, neutralizes the effects of the positive words. You have to refuse thinking negative thoughts, if you wish to attain positive results.

This is my most popular empowerment mantra/affirmation. It is very simple and incredibly affective. Sing it in the shower in the morning to start your day with confidence and intention. Repeat it while walking, while running, while on the treadmill. It will keep you going. Chant it to yourself anytime you are unsure, insecure or scared. It will give you courage.

I AM.

I CAN.

I WILL.

I AM.       (I am perfect just as I am.)

I CAN.      (I can do whatever I set out to do.)

I WILL.     (I have faith in myself.)

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

The Love of a Queen

posted by Donna Henes

Despite the rude awakenings, the unsettling physical and emotional chaos of midlife and all of its frightful, presumed ramifications, an amazing number of women find this stage to be the most personally fulfilling and satisfying of their lives so far.

A recent Gallup survey of women aged fifty to sixty-five revealed that fifty-one percent of them feel happier now than they have ever before. This compares to only ten percent who thought the happiest times in their lives were their twenties, seventeen percent who were happiest in their thirties, and sixteen percent who liked their forties best.

Just what are we to make of this apparent feeling among so many women that we believe ourselves to be better off once we have lost possession of the very characteristics and trappings that society seems to value most in us — our sexual allure and childbearing capabilities?

We have lost our youthful looks and stamina. We have lost some vision, some hearing, some memory. We have lost the pigment in our hair and the elasticity in our skin. We are also losing our battle against gravity and the advancement of time.

We have lost the children we raised and we have lost our chance to have the children that we didn’t have. We also stand to lose our parents, our old friends, our spouses. We are in danger of losing our time left on the job, our visibility and our very lives.

So how does it compute that even while we are mired in loss, we have never been happier?

Because we have discovered that we actually like who we have become!

Everything worth having costs something, and the price of true love is self-knowledge. Becoming acquainted with yourself is a price well worth paying for the love that will really address your needs.
- Daphne Rose Kingma

We Queens have taken on the challenge of change, and with our eyes wide open we have engaged in the daunting process of learning who we are now and who we choose to become. It is important to us to know that our thoughts and feelings count, that our work and interests are meaningful, and that we, ourselves, matter. Our growing Self-confidence propelled us to reach for and attain our own authentic personal power.

We have come a long way and it has been quite a journey. We have dreamed the dream and done the work, and walked the long, long highway. We have struggled to discover, comfort, cosset, encourage and change our Selves. Now, finally, gloriously, joyfully, we have arrived at our destination. The station of our authentic sovereignty. And don’t it feel grand?             

I don’t like myself, I’m crazy about myself.
- Mae West

* ***

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com

Daily Rituals for Self-Empowerment

posted by Donna Henes

By Dr. Carmen Harra
http://www.carmenharra.com


Daily life can drag us down and make us weary of our circumstances. The repetition of routine becomes mundane and mediocre, and we often wonder where to turn for a bit of liberating distraction. Falling victim to the “grind” means living blinded from our true purpose and power. But there is a way to balance our everyday duties while building strength from the inside out.

A dormant power lies within us which begs to be awakened. Historically speaking, we’ve built empires, invented life-changing technology, and displayed inhuman feats of resilience. And that’s being modest in regards to our potential. The individuals who have identified their internal stamina are the ones whose names we pronounce regularly as the great thinkers and doers of this world.

So what would you do if you discovered your fountain of inner energy? Like reeling in a rare gem from the bottom of the sea, how do you rear your inherent strength to the surface so that it’s within your reach?

You can unlock your own unique force through daily exercises aimed at establishing your tenacity and capacity. Practice these empowering acts to help you tap into surprising self-powers:

    1. Any type of movement encourages strength. Not only does exercise empower your body, it raises the level of feel-good hormones which stabilize your mental and emotional states. The easiest way to become empowered today is to move. Walk, swim, hike, kickbox — whatever your sport of choice, engage in it every single day.
    2. Speaking the right words expands the spectrum of your strength. Stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself, “Today, I am prepared. Today I am powerful. Today I am a winner.” Practice whatever affirmations relate best to you; the most important thing is to speak your words with conviction.
    3. In my practice, I urge my clients never to compare themselves to anyone else because that devalues their individuality. Realize that your intrinsic strengths are yours alone; no one else possesses the exact same qualities, talents, or marvelous traits as you. Understand and highlight your best features. Utilize your originality as an expression of your unshakable strength.
    4. My daughter’s passion is to write. She tells me, “Every word can be turned into a book.” She says this because she sees the many different meanings that each word can take on. For her, words are an inspiration. Allow yourself to become excited by even the tiniest details of life. Inspiration endows you with an elevated sense of awareness and sensitized connection to your surroundings. Watch the world around you with vigilance; at every corner you turn there are a million reasons to feel inspired to take on new ideas, projects, and beliefs.
    5. The nourishment you provide for your body has a direct link to your overall well-being. Food of no nutritional value leaves you lethargic, depressed, and powerless. Lack of energy is your body’s way of asking for better food. While building up your inner strength, you must fortify your body, too. This way you are ready to manifest your newfound power. Establish a two-way communication with your body: listen to what it’s trying to tell you and give it what it needs.
    6. When you feel less-than-dynamic, take five minutes out of your day for a quick meditation. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and breathe deeply. Allow yourself to daydream freely, picturing the ideal outcome to every problem, desire, and goal you may have. Mentally projecting your future revitalizes you with strength and gives you hope for the possibility of positive events to come.

Past reflection. Equally important as projecting your future is past reflection which allows you to measure your progress. Create journal entries in which you translate your intentions into words, concluding with the things you’ve accomplished so far and those which you plan to accomplish next. Remember to thank yourself for what you’ve done right thus far, and understand what you might’ve done wrong in prior failings.

A cause. There is strength in numbers. Joining a cause heightens your power because you share and receive potent energy in group efforts. What one person lacks another person has, and this makes a group energetically complete. Work with others towards a goal you all believe in and become involved in bringing about change you want to see.

Favourite activity. When was the last time you indulged in your favourite hobby? Doing things you love instantly uplifts you and re-energizes your spirits. Whether it’s cooking, creating, or a special craft, set time aside for activities which add variety and colour to your day.

The Divine source. Have you ever wondered, after a particularly long day or difficult challenge, how in the world did I do all of that? Even you are sometimes baffled by your own power to persevere. The universe appoints us with superhuman strength of the emotional, mental, and physical kind in times of greatest need. Recognize that you are an open channel of energy and call on your Divine source to refuel you with its unlimited supply of strength.

Action. There is no quicker road to empowerment than through action. Too often we postpone pursuing our bold intentions. Today I want you to do, not think about doing. When you see that your efforts yield positive results, you will become driven to act more often towards your aims.

Feeling weak at times is normal, but there are many strategies you can adopt for an instant burst of vitality. Implement my tips above into your everyday life and awaken the full extent of power within you.

To your secret strengths,

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

Morning ME Time

posted by Donna Henes

Busy, busy, busy Queens are we. As much as I adore my work, I sometimes find it frustrating. Often my to-do list is longer at the end of the day than it was when I started in the morning. I was raised with a gross misconception. I was always told that if I worked hard enough, I would get it done. But that is so untrue. I have discovered that the more I do, the more I have to do.

If we are all so busy all of the time, what do we do to regenerate our Selves?

I have created a morning ritual to address this lack of Self-indulgent personal attention to my own wants and needs.

I get up, make tea and take it back to bed where I read for about 30 minutes. (I love to read, but fall asleep after a page when I do it at bedtime.) Then I meditate and go for a walk with the dog followed by either yoga or the gym or just a super long walk. Then my domestic errands: bank, post office, grocery, etc. I eat brunch and I am ready for the day.

I try not to have any appointments until noon. This way, no matter how busy I get or how late at night I write, at least I have done something good for ME. This lovely morning ME time keeps me in mind of honoring my Queen.

The Queen is firm in the Defense of Her time, Her space, Her boundaries, Her priorities, Her preferences, Her ethics, Her needs, Her desires, Her safety, and Her sense of well-being. –QMD

What about you?

What do you do for YOU?

What do you do to soothe, to pamper, to nurture, to center, to calm, to heal, to inspire, to excite your Self?

What do you do for pleasure, for comfort, for healing?

How do you do it?

When do you do it?

And most importantly, do you do it?!

What is YOUR QUEEN TIME like?

I would love to know. Please comment here or send a note to me off-line at thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

* *** Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.

Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™ The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

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