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The Queen of My Self

 

I have been inundated lately by articles about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is subject very much on the minds of many, many women.

Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.) 

These writings cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.

As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!

xxQueen Mama Donna

 

Midlife is No Crisis for Today’s Women

By Judith Reichman, MD

Midlife is notoriously known as a time of crisis. But today’s post-35 women are feeling optimistic about the future, making positive changes for themselves and the world around them. Women’s health expert Dr. Judith Reichman tells how to join the many women who are seizing the midlife moment and making new choices related to their health.

A new, national survey of women between the ages of 35 and 49, sponsored in partnership by the National Association of Nurse Practitioners in Women’s Health (NPWH) and Teva Women’s Health, Inc., shows that more than three-quarters of women in midlife say the best years are ahead, not behind. Moreover, the midlife woman views this life stage as a time to reinvent herself – to do all the things she never had time for – to take care of herself both inside and out, go green, enjoy the freedom of intimacy with her partner. And surprisingly, to make sure she doesn’t get pregnant. It is a little-known fact that the second-highest rates of unplanned pregnancies next to teens occur in women over 40.

The Bedroom is for More than Sleeping

Seizing the “midlife moment” for women in these middle years includes having sex – 65% are interested in keeping up a healthy sex life. That’s good news! But, many women have stopped using contraception entirely by age 35, according to the survey, leaving themselves vulnerable to an unplanned pregnancy.

While most women have taken The Pill in the past, just 24% of women between 35 and 49 are still on it. The new survey indicated that many of the women stopped because they didn’t like being on a hormonal contraceptive pill. The majority of women surveyed feel they live a healthier lifestyle without taking birth control pills. Most are looking for a reliable birth control method, and prefer options that are both hormone-free and long-term, such as the intrauterine contraceptive (IUC) ParaGard. More and more women are looking for a “greener” birth control method, and expressing concern for the impact of hormones on the environment.

Going “Greener”

At midlife, women often place greater importance on how their actions impact the environment compared to when they were younger, and are going green at home and at the store. In fact, 60% of women recycle more now, and more than half use green bags or buy more “green” or eco-friendly products.

Tomorrow: Midlife is No Crisis for Today’s Women – Part 2

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have been inundated lately by articles about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is subject very much on the minds of many, many women.

Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.) 

These writings cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.

As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!

xxQueen Mama Donna

 

Why Midlife Rocks Your World -Part 2

By Kathy Caprino

Why is midlife a time of major transition?

I’ve observed that the following contribute to our re-awakening in midlife and wanting change:

1)  A time of reckoning and re-evaluation – Realizing that your life is potentially more than half over is a jarring experience, and brings with it a sense of urgency to live more authentically, more joyfully. At 50, we just want different things than we did at 30.

2)  Kids are out of the house – Without the pressing parenting responsibilities that can be all-consuming, there’s room to think, room to breathe, and quiet space to hear yourself dream.

3)  Friends start to die – My husband and I discussed this just yesterday, that a number of our 50+-year-old friends have died – from sudden illness, cancer, heart attack, etc. When your friends die, you think hard.

4)  Longings won’t be suppressed – After working so hard crafting a “successful” life, we get tired of it.  Instead of some outward version of “success,” we long for joy, excitement, passion, peace — we want to live life more fully, on our terms.

5) We know how to speak up – We won’t be talked down to anymore. We’ve lived through that, and we’ve learned how to stand up, speak up and power up. We won’t tolerate put downs, manipulation or pressure like we used to.

6)  We’ve finally earned it – Finally, after all you’ve strived for, accomplished, created, and achieved, you know what you’re capable of.  You won’t stand for less. You have the confidence and the courage to embrace the idea that’s been skulking around in your mind for years. You’re ready to admit, “This can’t be all there is. I know there’s more for me.”

So, my friends, if you’re in midlife and wondering why everything looks and feels different, don’t be alarmed.  It’s a natural, normal life progression – a stage that doesn’t have to represent hell.

But don’t resist it and break yourself against it like a rock – embrace it.  Let yourself look into the deep recesses of your heart, mind, and soul, to find clues of who you want to become now, and what you want to create in this next thrilling chapter. It’s a new time, waiting for a fuller, more expansive you.

Midlife can pave the way to a glorious reclamation of your passion, power and purpose – go for it!

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

I have been inundated lately by articles about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is subject very much on the minds of many, many women.

Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.) 

These writings cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.

As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!

xxQueen Mama Donna

 

Why Midlife Rocks Your World – Part 1

By Kathy Caprino

I was speaking today with a wonderful client of mine – let’s call her “Carol,” who shared a story about her views of midlife BEFORE she had arrived in midlife, and then what happened when her 40’s came.

She shared,

It’s funny – when I was my early 30’s, and I’d hear about someone having a ‘midlife crisis,’ I’d think to myself, “Wow, I don’t really get that.  I’m focused, doing what I need to, experiencing success, the kids are good, things are moving along well.  I can’t imagine waking up to wanting a whole new life or finding out that what I have I don’t want.”

But when I turned 43, something happened.  I awakened somehow – after a series of tough events and challenges — to wanting more, wanting different.  It’s like I suddenly saw my whole life differently through the eyes of a middle-ager.  The career I spent years rising to the top of, somehow lost its hold on me – it felt empty and unimportant, silly almost.  My relationship with my husband had some serious problems too over the years that took a terrible toll on me, but I never allowed myself to stop and look at that – I just powered through it all.

Now that my kids are older and I’m not needed in the same, day-to-day way, I find that I truly want a different life – a life that’s mine – based on what I value and what I love.  I don’t want to just push down what isn’t working.  I want to bring it out and resolve it, or let it go.

I get it now – a “midlife crisis” isn’t a cliché.  It’s real and it’s powerful.

Carol speaks for thousands of folks who’ve awakened in midlife to realizing that what they’ve created in their 20s and 30s just doesn’t fit who they’ve become.

Tomorrow: Why Midlife Rocks Your World – Part 2

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

 

I have been inundated lately by articles about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is subject very much on the minds of many, many women.

Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.) 

These writings cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.

As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!

xxQueen Mama Donna

 

The Journey

By Sharon Olds

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice–

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

“Mend my life!”

each voice cried.

But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do–

determined to save

the only life you could save.

– From Wild Geese

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

 The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.