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The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Being Pleased With Your Self

posted by Donna Henes

In the interest of keeping the Valentine Day energy alive for this entire week, I will be posting messages to stimulate your love for the Queen of Your Self.

I recently received this wonderfully refreshing letter from a sister Queen who is definitely pleased with her Self:

…Despite the anticipation and the promise of something potentially special, he was not attractive to me. And I think that’s important — that although I have had my misgivings about meeting someone as I am — overweight and older — I felt attractive and lively and lovely and charming and desirable in many ways. My inner womanly, Queenly core, was quite strong — it never dawned on me to feel less than attractive. And I thank all you Queens for helping me to feel that. Our circle of love and faith in one another has just added to the pool, the large pond, the lake, the sea of deep-rooted sense of Good Self that stays, no matter what…
– A fan of The Queen of My Self

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Brava! You go, girl!

It gets easier as you get older. You accept yourself for who you are – your flaws and your attributes. It’s easier to live in your own skin.
– Barbra Streisand

And then I received this perfect follow up from a subscriber to The Queen’s Chronicles:

The Heart Is The Home of Wonder
By – Edie Weinstein, PA

Breathe in the warmth of this place, allowing yourself to feel a sense of welcome
It is your own love, your own beauty that beckons you inside
How long has it been, since you have crossed this threshold?
The door has always been open, the invitation always extended
Will you accept it now?

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Through the windows streams sunlight, casting rainbow designs on the walls
As prism glass reflects the scattered sparkling illumination
The floor beneath your feet is soft
Caressing your skin as you tap your bare toes on its surface
Daring to dance upon it to the lilting music that only you can hear.

The table is set with all manner of lusciousness
Nourishment for body and soul awaits you
Always plenty to savor and share; a bounty spread before you
Every imaginable treat to delight your senses
The sweet aroma that curls around you.

The mirror on the wall reflects your exquisite nature
As you gaze into the eyes of the One who has been with you
Through all eternity, questioning what has kept you from recognizing
Your own ineffable Divinity
Express your adoration for the Goddess who winks back at you.

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Feel the all-embracing comfort of this structure that was created
Brick by brick, log by log, though your daily intention
The experiences and the people you draw into your world
The thoughts that permeate your mind
The wild magic of your infinite imagination.

***
The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

CONSULT THE MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™
Queen Mama Donna offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.

 

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Valentine Self Care

posted by Donna Henes


In the interest of keeping the Valentine Day energy alive for this entire week, I will be posting messages to stimulate your love for the Queen of Your Self.

Today is Valentine’s Day and I am sick. I have been working seven-day weeks for a while now and I am beat. Yesterday I woke with a nasty cold, which lasted only 24 hours, amazingly. But it left me completely and utterly exhausted. So I postponed my Valentine’s date with my honey until tomorrow and spent the entire day in bed reading and dozing. What a fabulous relief to just let go and sink in to the mattress and get lost in my book. What a glorious way of loving my Self.

It is early evening now and I just checked my emails and look what I found! I couldn’t believe it. But of course I could believe it. My life is richly blessed with synchronistic wonder.

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So now I don’t have to write what I was planning to about taking care to indulge in Self love and care, and share, instead, this wisdom sent to me by my lovely colleague in Michigan. I couldn’t have said it better.

I send all my dear sister Queens love today. Love for your Self. Love for each other. Love for humanity. Love for Mother Earth and all of Her creations and creatures. Love for Life.

xxQueen Mama Donna

Valentine Message
By Daina (DINAH) Puodziunas, MI

It’s Valentines Day and I’m sick in bed!! I’ve taken everything off my schedule and decided to see this as an opportunity to give myself a day of being kind, gentle, and loving with myself.
 
We women are so used to pushing ourselves to do more and often feel guilty when we do take time for ourselves.
 
But we have to fill our own well on a regular basis in order to have it spilling over. Only then will we not have our energy drained and we will have more than enough to share with others!!!
 
20 Ways To Become Your Own Best Friend

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Give your self permission to:
 
1) Acknowledge your achievements.
 
2) Eat well, sleep well, and take care of your self physically.
 
3) Don’t engage in other people’s dramas. Ask yourself as Byron Katie suggests: “Is it my business, their business, or God’s busniess?
 
4) Follow your passions no matter where they take you.
 
5) Listen to your own inner voice.
 
6) Take time to get quiet, experience inner peace, and observe
  thoughts without judgment.
 
7) Release the need to blame self and others.
 
8) Instead of listening to the reprimanding, shoulding, guilting voice….listen to your heart instead.
 
9) Compliment others and notice good things about them, it will soften your judgments about your self.
 
10) Accept your self exactly how you are, where you are, what you are, who you are….YOU ARE ENOUGH JUST AS YOU ARE!!
 
11) Know your own limits. Don’t always be the one who takes on
responsibilities, says yes automatically etc.
 
12) Make your self a priority.
 
13) Have fun and enjoy life…..it’s ok to do so.
 
14) Change your mind.
 
15) When requests are made of you, get in the habit of saying: ” I don’t know, let me get back to you on that,” or “no, I don’t want to do that.”
 
16) Take up time and space.
 
17) Interpret every choice and experience you have, no matter what it is, as contributing positively to your life because you make it so (no matter what anyone else’s interpretation may be!)
 
18) Trust yourself even when you make “mistakes” or don’t know what to do immediately, or don’t know the answers.
 
19) Allow people to be disappointed about your choices and decisions.
 
20) Break personal commitments or promises if to keep them would ultimately be more harmful to self than keeping them.
 
***
The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

CONSULT THE MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™
Queen Mama Donna offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.

 
 
 

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On Valentines and Vulvas

posted by Donna Henes

From the beginning, women were exalted as the image, the echo, the counterpart companion of the Goddess. Their access to ecstasy, imbued with spiritual significance. As priestesses, they tended the fires and fanned the generative flames from Her sex, the seat of Her power.

Paleolithic carved figures refer to woman as matrix, as creatrix, to moon cycles and menstrual magic, and resonate profound reverence in their rendering. Grandly voluptuous female forms, their sturdy stature commanding confidence and authority.

The Venuses of Willendorf, of Meton, of Lespugue, with their big breasts and belly, huge hips and ass, stand frank and fecund, formidable and efficacious. Faceless, their limbs are abbreviated. Their focus is centered on their own nubile torso, which tapers to a point. The tip of the vortex of their sex.
 
These ancient images sanctify female sexuality as religious expression.  The carnal knowledge of universal power links sex and prayer etymologically. Venerate and venereal both stem from the Latin name of the licentious Goddess of Love, Venus. Lust in the old Germanic language meant “religious joy.”

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The same spark, which ignites to conceive children, also kindles culture.  It is the mother of invention.  Around 9000 years ago, Mediterranean cultures venerated a supreme goddess of seduction and fruition.  The intensity of Her desire, potent enough to produce generations, agriculture, poetry. She guided all growth, and especially loved lovers and art. Beauty and Heart. Ishtar, Isis, Cybele, Inanna, Aphrodite. She was not shy.

My vulva, the horn.
The Boat of Heaven
Is full of eagerness like the moon
My untilled land lies fallow

As for me, Inanna,
Who will plow my vulva?                            
Who will plow my high field?
Who will plow my wet ground?

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As for me, the young woman,
Who will plow my vulva?
Who will station the ox there?
Who will plow my vulva?

– Text on Sumerian tablet, 2000 BC

Sex invoked in myth and ritual is symbolic of the primary life force.  Sex as energy. Sex as creation. Sex as abundance. Sex as unification.  Sex as divine spirit. Sex as celebration. Sex as sympathetic magic.

During the Iroquois Naked Dance, a woman and a man coupled in the fields to fertilize the crops. Until the end of the last century, European peasants did the same. The Christians called the fertility song-prayers of pagan Norsemen, “female gyrations.” Sexual licentiousness was central in the harvest celebrations of the African Bantu and Badago.

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Hunters also had intercourse with nature. The married women of the Cheyenne and Mandan of the Great Plains performed a rite called “Intercourse with the Buffalo.” They shared sexual relations with the elder men of the tribe who impersonated the bison, thereby channeling the Great Spirit. Celtic kings would copulate with a mare, which was then killed, butchered and cooked in a soup. This, the king consumed in order to partake of the power of Epona, the Equine Goddess.

Hindus maintain that sex with any woman is the same as sex with the Goddess Shakti, Herself, whose vibratory energy charges all life. In Tantra, as well as Taoism, the male taps into the infinite energy of the female — fuses with her like a space capsule refueling in orbit. He then recycles, as it were, his sperm, directing its flow to the top of his head to elevate his spirit. 

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Sufis and other Middle Eastern mystics consort with a fravashi, a mystical lady-love to reach enlightenment. Tantric-like techniques were taught in Greek temples of Venus by Her harlot-priestesses, the venerii. Ovid, an initiate, wanted to die while making love. “Let me go in the act of coming to Venus, in more senses than one let my last dying be done.”

The Romans celebrated the sacred febris or sexual frenzy of the Goddess Juno in mid February, the time when the birds in Italy mate. On Lupercalia men and women drew love lots to determine their partner for this festival of erotic games. This is how Sulpicia, a Roman poet in the first century, BC described her experience of febris:
   
At last love has come. I would be more ashamed
to hide it in cloth than leave it naked.
I prayed to the Muse and won. Venus dropped him
in my arms, doing for me what she
had promised. Let my joy be told, let those
who have none tell it in a story.
Personally, I would never send off words
in sealed tablets for none to read.
I delight in sinning and hate to compose a mask      
for gossip. We met. We are both worthy.

Lupercalia was the original Valentine’s Day. Unable to stop this popular orgiastic festival, early church fathers created a sainted martyr, a patron of lovers whose feast day would be February 14th, thus, sanctioning a celebration they could not suppress.  

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All the symbols of Lupercalia are still intact, if sanitized and insipid. Cupid, child of Aphrodite and Hermes was an Herm-Aphrodite, the embodiment of sexual union. S/he is now depicted as a cutsie chubby angel baby with a bow and arrow. Cupid’s arrows are symbolic of phallic projectiles of passion, penetrating a red heart. And the heart, which has no resemblance to an anatomical heart, is a simplistic illustration of an aroused and engorged vulva, a holy yoni.

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Women’s Power – Part 3

posted by Donna Henes

 
Women’s Power – Part 3
By Max Dashu

Female mavericks were also active in the arts and sciences. The renegade nun Okuni originated the Kabuki theater, from which women were soon banned. In Moorish Spain, the poet Walladah bint-al-Mustakfi rejected the veil and marriage, preferring to host intellectual salons and take female as well as male lovers. Around 975, her counterpart Aisa bint Ahmad declined a proposal by a poet she disliked with a defiant stance: “I am a lioness/ And will never consent to let/ My body be the stopping place for anyone/ But should I choose that/ I would not hearken to a dog/ And how many lions have I turned down.”

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The most courageous women challenged oppression. The famous Swahili singer Siti Binti Saad rose from the oppressed classes using taarabu music to call for social justice in what is now Tanzania. She protested class oppression and men’s abuse of women; her song “The police have stopped” sharply criticized a judge who let a rich wife-murderer go free. She seemed unafraid even of the sultan. The battle leadership of a Pawnee elder saved a village from atttackers, and so she was named “Old Lady Grieves the Enemy.” Afterward, she taunted wife-beaters, telling them to go after the Poncas who came to burn up the village, and leave the women, who do no harm, alone.

Women warriors appear in many historical accounts, fighting to defend themselves, their homes, their people and their country. However, although it is hard for many people today to conceive of such broad female authority, in some societies women had the formal power to veto the decision to go to war. The Cherokee Beloved Woman, in her capacity of representing the women at the men’s council, possessed this authority, and so did the Gantowisas (Matrons) of the Six Nations (Iroquois). It was the women who supplied warriors with dried food and other necessities, and they suffered the consequences of war as well.

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There was a saying, “Before the men can go to war, the women must make their moccasins.” (See Moccasin Makers and War Breakers, A Call to Action by the Women of the World by Kahn-Tineta Horn, Kahente Horn-Miller, and other Mohawk women)

The Lisu people of Yunnan (southwest China) once had a tradition that fighting had to stop if a woman of either side waved her skirt to call for an armistice. Often this would be a highly-regarded elder. The skirt, imbued with the woman’s mana, symbolized the life-giver’s power. A woman taking off her outer skirt was also the signal for war or peace in the Pacific island Vanatinai, where women were also the traditional protectors of prisoners of war.

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Copyright 2000 Max Dashu        

* Please send me your thoughts about power. Also stories of your own empowerment. When shared, these ideas and examples are extremely inspiring to others. Thanks.

 ***
The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

CONSULT THE MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™
Queen Mama Donna offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.

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