Beliefnet
The Queen of My Self

 

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

 

Mae West, actress, playwright, screenwriter and sex symbol supreme was born Mary Jane West in Brooklyn, New York in 1893. Her father was a prizefighter known as “Battlin’ Jack West” and her mother was a former corset and fashion model.

After performing in several high-profile revues, West got her big break at the age of 25 in the in the 1918 Shubert Brothers revue “Sometime,” opposite Ed Wynn. Her character Mayme danced a very provocative shimmy.

West was encouraged unconditionally by her mother, who always thought that whatever her daughter did was fantastic. Other family members, however, were less than supportive and actively disapproved of her career choices.

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often. – MW

Eventually, she began writing her own risqué plays using the pen name Jane Mast. Her play, “Sex,” which she also produced and directed, was her first starring role on Broadway. The critics hated the show, but the audiences loved it and ticket sales were great. Outraged, city officials raided the notorious production and West along with the rest of the cast was arrested.

Unrepentant, West continued to challenge the moral codes, and on April 19, 1927, she was prosecuted and sentenced to ten days for “corrupting the morals of youth.” While incarcerated, she was the dinner guest of the warden and his wife and told reporters that she wore her silk underpants while serving time. She served eight days with two days off for good behavior and the media attention about the case greatly enhanced her career.

Her next play, “The Drag,” dealt with homosexuality and was what West called one of her “comedy-dramas of life.” After runs in Connecticut and New Jersey, West, an avid supporter of gay rights, planned to bring the production to New York. However, The Society for the Prevention of Vice prevented her from doing so.

Undeterred, she continued to write plays, including “The Wicked Age,” “Pleasure Man” and “The Constant Sinner.” These productions were plagued by controversy, but the bruhaha ensured that that she stayed in the news, which resulted in packed performances. Her 1928 play, “Diamond Lil,” about a racy, easygoing lady of the 1890s, became a Broadway hit, which enjoyed an enduring popularity and West successfully revived it many times throughout the course of her career.

When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better. – MW

In 1932, Paramount Pictures offered West a motion picture contract even though at 38 she was considered to be too old to be just starting out in the movies, especially as a sex symbol. West made her film debut in “Night After Night” starring George Raft. At first, she was disappointed to have a small role, so she lobbied to rewrite her scenes. In her first scene, a hatcheck girl exclaims, “Goodness, what beautiful diamonds.” West replies, “Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.” Reflecting on the success of her rewritten scenes, Raft commented, “She stole everything but the cameras.”

The following year she brought her Diamond Lil character, now renamed Lady Lou, to the screen in “She Done Him Wrong.” She insisted on co-starring with Cary Grant, which was another career boost. The film was a box office hit and earned an Academy Award nomination for Best Picture. Her next release, “I’m No Angel,” in which she was also paired with Grant, was a financial success, as well. By 1935 she was the second highest paid person in the United States, after William Randolph Hearst.

In 1934 the censorship of the Production Code began to be seriously and meticulously enforced, and her screenplays were heavily edited. Her film, “Klondike Annie” dealt with religion and hypocrisy and was very controversial. Today it is considered to be her screen masterpiece.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it. – MW

 Tomorrow: Queen of Camp – Part 2

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™ http://www.thequeenofmyself.com

***

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

 

The brain, the mind, is said to be our most sensitive sexual organ and I have come to absolutely believe it. Time after time again in my life, it has been proven to me that being in possession of a lively, energized spirit is much more erotic than having an outwardly pretty face or perfectly honed physique. It seems to me that the popular misperception that midlife marks the end of a woman’s sexuality and appeal has less to do with her losing her looks than her losing her spirit. Allure is visceral and begins inside. 

When I went to Paris in my fifties, it seemed like every man between the onset of puberty and the edge of the grave seemed to be coming on to me. “But this is Paris,” I would remind myself, “not real life.” I had always heard that in Europe mature women were appreciated. And indeed, women there do seem to age particularly well. They have an incredible talent for remaining luscious and alluring well past their mere middle years and into their seventies, eighties and beyond. Think of Jeanne Moreau, Simone Signoret, Sophia Loren, Liv Ullman, Celia Cruz.

In Europe you can be Sophia, you can be these older women who are considered very sexy.

– Sally Kirkland

The mother of a good friend was born in Germany 98 years ago. Her face is as deeply grooved as Lillian Hellman’s. She smokes like a chimney. She has a younger lover, but does not live with him. She looks, sounds and acts like an age-progressed Marlene Dietrich. She is one hot great-grandma.

I once saw Alberta Hunter belt out the blues when she was in her eighties and she was by far the sexiest woman in that room. Lena Horne once boasted, “It’s ill becoming for an old broad to sing about how bad she wants it. But occasionally we do.” What fabulous role models.

Unfortunately, in our youth-obsessed culture, the specter of an overtly flirtatious and vibrant older woman is treated as a joke. Mae West, femme fatale forever, was presented in the media as a complete laughing stock. It is always said that as she aged she became a parody of herself. But she was her Self — and more and always more so, right to the end. Authentic and self-invented, she lived and loved totally on her own terms.

The emotional maturity and depth of character of women of a certain age, is extraordinarily and vitally attractive. We are substantial and robust, heady with the flavor of all that we have seen and done so far. Pungent with profound experience, with pain and loss. Lessons learned from lives lived intensely are reflected in our palate — sophisticated, subtle, firm and complex. Like fine wine and good cheese, women ripen and improve with age. Our essence becomes stronger, more challenging and infinitely more rewarding.

I keep thinking about Ruth Gordon in “Harold and Maude,” a woman on the cusp of her 80th birthday. Not only was she eccentric and electric, charming and disarming, she was shamelessly flirtatious and downright sexy.

Let us savor our sexual pleasures now and forever more.

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

***

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

 

 The Beauty Of A Woman

 By Audrey Hepburn, R.I.P.

The beauty of a woman

isn’t in the clothes she wears,

The figure that she carries,

or the way she combs her hair.

 

The beauty of a woman

must be seen from in her eyes;

Because that’s the doorway to her heart,

the place where love resides.

 

The beauty of a woman

isn’t in a facial mole;

But true beauty in a woman,

is reflected by her soul.

 

It’s the caring that she cares to give,

the passion that she shows;

And the beauty of a woman

with passing years only grows.

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

***

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisement

 

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

Several women have written in with ideas and suggestions for loving our Selves. Here is another one in three parts.

 

Learning to Love Yourself – Part 3

By C. Rainfield, Ontario

* Recognize Self-Critical Messages — and Talk to Them

It’s easy to let old, critical voices and messages that we heard as a child play over and over in our minds, without stopping them. Often we may barely recognize that they are there, or we don’t really listen to them, we’ve heard them so often — but they continue to impact how we feel and think about ourselves.

Try noticing next time you hear a small (or very loud) voice inside your head criticize you. Be aware of what it is saying to you, and try to talk to it. Ask it why it feels it needs to say those things. Is that part of you trying to protect you, in some child-like logic? Or perhaps that part of you felt it had to take on the messages you heard as a kid. Remind that part of you that you no longer need to do that to survive. You are free to make up your own mind about yourself.

* Counteract Negative or Critical Thoughts About Yourself

Write down all the negative or critical thoughts and messages you hear inside your head. See if you can figure out who first said them to you (or said something of that nature). Then write out a response that counteracts each of those messages, one by one. Make the counter messages as strong and loving as you can.

If you’re having trouble writing out counter messages, see if you can connect to a deep, wise part inside of you. Or write out what you would say to a friend if a friend said those things about her/himself.

* Do Comforting and Nurturing Things For Yourself

Allow yourself to do comforting and nurturing things for yourself. Let yourself feel how good you feel when you do those things — and tell yourself that you deserve to feel that way, to feel good. Gradually you’ll find that the more nurturing and comforting times you have, the more you’ll seek them out — and they will help build a good feeling inside you.

* Ask Yourself What You Need to Do

Some of these things will work really well for you, while others may not quite fit you. So try taking a moment to get quiet, and ask yourself, “What can I do to help myself feel more compassion and love toward myself?” Don’t force an answer — just let the answer bubble up from inside you. If you find it hard to hear the answer that way, try writing out your question, and then your answer. See what you come up with. You know best what works for you — and you have great wisdom inside you.

Above all — have compassion for yourself and for where you’re at. Remember that you are a truly loveable person — and that you deserve only kind treatment, especially from yourself. 🙂

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

***

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

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