Beliefnet
The Queen of My Self

 

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

For some women, the noticeable reduction in vaginal fluid during menopause is a sexual deterrent as it may take longer to become aroused and penetration may become irritating. But a little dryness down there doesn’t stop the lusty Queen. That’s why the Goddess invented cocoa butter.

Unguent and lotions and moisturizing potions are really quite sexy. Experiment with commercial lubricants or try rubbing yourself with some honey, fragrant coconut cream, almond, walnut, avocado, or olive oil, sweet Danish butter, molasses, chocolate syrup, or whatever tickles your fancy. Think of it as a way of blessing yourself with the power of your own pleasure.

Enjoy!

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.  Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

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The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

 

These early vibrators looked like excruciating medieval torture devices or something more suitable for use on the kitchen counter or in an automotive garage.

The electric vibrator had its inception in 1869 with the invention of a steam-powered massager, patented by an American doctor. This device was designed as a medical tool for treating “female disorders.” Within 20 years a British doctor followed up with a more portable battery-operated model and by 1900, dozens of styles of electric vibrators were available to the discriminating medical professional.

In 1899, the vibrator was introduced as a home medical appliance. They were electrified ten years before either the washing machine or the vacuum cleaner. They appeared in magazine advertisements by 1904. Good Housekeeping ran a “tried and tested” on vibrators in 1909, claiming they brought a glow to the face. An ad in a 1918 Sears Roebuck catalog of “aids that every woman appreciates” described a $5.95 portable model as “very useful and satisfactory for home service.”

By the 1920s, doctors had abandoned hands-on physical treatments for hysteria in favor of psychotherapeutic techniques. But vibrators continued to have an active commercial life in which they were marketed as cure-alls for ills ranging from headaches and asthma to “fading beauty” and even tuberculosis!

The best sex I have ever had was with my vibrator. – Eva Longoria

The ad copy for these vibrators was coy and ambiguous. “Be a glow getter,” one package insert suggests. And who wouldn’t be tempted to experience “that delicious, thrilling health-restoring sensation called vibration,” when assured that “it makes you fairly tingle with the joy of living”? The vibrator’s usefulness for masturbation was never acknowledged; however, as vibrators began appearing in erotic stag films of the 1920s, it became difficult to ignore their sexual function. Probably as a result, advertisements for vibrators gradually disappeared from respectable publications.

To this day, electric vibrators are marketed solely as massagers and manufacturers steadfastly ignore their sexual benefits. Vibrators are now a big business; they are sold through drug stores, department stores and even the Sears catalog. They are also sold at sex shops where they are proudly promoted as the superior sex toys they are.

Betty Dodson, who is known as the “godmother of the masturbation movement,” recalls how a male lover suggested that they experiment with a barber’s scalp massager. It produced spectacular orgasms that led to a crusade on her part to show women how to use vibrators. Her message was consistent: “Independent orgasm, I guarantee, will lead to independent thoughts.”

A woman with a well-stocked toy drawer isn’t dependent on anyone and is unlikely to hurl herself at a lowlife just for nooky. – Arianne Coheb

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

***

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Congratulations to the three winners of  The Queen of My Self book giveaway:

Susan Aubin, CO

Geri Hearne, IL

Smoky Zeidel, CA

Enjoy!!!

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

 

Since antiquity, medical writings have recognized a woman’s complaint characterized by nervousness, fluid retention, insomnia and lack of appetite. A female display of distress and unmanageable emotional excess was behavior considered to be a disease in need of treatment. Hippocrates dubbed this condition “hysteria” or “womb furie.” (Oh, I could show him some womb fury!)

Galen, a Greek physician, claimed it was caused by the womb’s revolt against sexual deprivation, particularly in passionate women, and was noted in nuns, virgins, widows and occasionally in married women whose husbands were not up to the job.

From the beginning, physicians treated hysteria with genital massage in order to induce “hysterical paroxysm” (orgasm) in the patient.

“Arising from the touch of the genital organs required by the treatment, there follows twitchings accompanied at the same time by pain and pleasure…from that time she is free of all the evil she felt,” proclaimed Galen.

An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away. – Mae West 

Such treatment demanded both manual dexterity and a fair amount of time, And, significantly, because it took so long, it wasn’t lucrative enough for doctors who needed to see many patients to achieve a reasonable income.

However the simple solution of masturbation was regarded as wrong. It was not only a moral affront, but something that was thought of as constitutionally dangerous, enfeebling mind and body. “Women [with hysteria] should not resort to rubbing,” said Avicenna, the Muslim scholar and founder of early modern medicine. It was, he advised, “a man’s job, suitable only for husbands and doctors.”

Given that many in the medical profession thought that as many as 75%  of the female population were “hysterical” and that it was a chronic disease which could be relieved but not cured, there was a pressing need for cheaper, less cumbersome means of treatment. And here we have the birth of the vibrator.

In the early 1860s a scary French pelvic douche was invented to do the trick. It involved what looks like a high-pressure fire hose, trained on the clitoris and claimed to induce paroxysm in less than four minutes.

By the mid-1870s, steam power had been explored. “The Manipulator” was a table with a cutout area for the woman’s pelvis. A vibrating sphere driven by a steam engine then did the business. But like the hydrotherapies, it was not suitable for the doctor’s treatment room.

If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time. 

Louise Sammons

Tomorrow: Good Vibrations – Part 2

 

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

***

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

 

Betty Dodson, artist, author, and PhD sexologist has been one of the principal voices for women’s sexual pleasure and health for over three decades. She calls herself “A second wave feminist liberating women one orgasm at a time.”

Dodson had her first one-woman show of erotic art in 1968 in New York, followed by three others. She left the art world to teach sex to women and never turned back. She produced and presented the first feminist slide show of vulvas at the 1973 NOW Sexuality Conference in New York where she introduced the electric vibrator as a pleasure device. For 25 years, she ran Bodysex groups where women learned about their bodies and orgasms through the practice of self-stimulation.

Her first book, Liberating Masturbation: A Meditation on Selflove (1974) became a feminist classic. Sex for One (1987) sold over a million copies. Orgasms for Two (2002) embraces partner sex. Most recently she released her memoir recounting the feminist movement and all her sexual experiences, Betty Dodson: My Sexual Revolution.

She has authored numerous articles on the subject of women’s sexual pleasure and orgasm. In 1994, she earned a PhD in clinical sexology. Dodson has presented at conferences for sexual scientists, therapists, and psychologists.

She is a founder of the pro-sex feminist movement, having left behind the more traditional feminist movement because she considered it banal, anti-sexual and over-politicized. Dodson considers too much is made of sexual labels and embraces them all by calling herself a heterosexual, bisexual lesbian. She looks forward to the day we can all be just “sexual.”

I would applaud you, Queen Betty, but my hands are busy.

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

***

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

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