Beliefnet
The Queen of My Self


Here are some words of Self-wisdom by some very wise women:

“We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.”

– Jane Austen

 

“Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgement. And you can see forever.”

– Nancy Kerrigan

 

“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.”

– Sally Field

 

“Falling, falling, falling, falling down. Look yourself in the eye before you drown.”

– Emily Saliers, Indigo Girls

 

“Our goal while on this earth is to transcend our illusions and discover the innate power of our spirit.”

– Caroline Myss

 

The authentic self is the soul made visible.

– Sarah Ban Breathnach

 

“In our natural state, we are glorious beings. In the world of illusion, we are lost and imprisoned, slaves to our appetites and our will to false power.”

– Marianne Williamson

 

“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.”

– Virginia Woolf

 

“Every problem can be solved with the proper application of the means at hand. Maybe not easily, happily, cheaply or painlessly – but it can be done if you have the will; you already have the means – yourself!” ~ Joanne Siewert

 

“It is easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself.”

-Betty Friedan

 

“I didn’t leave Sonny for another man. I left for another woman. Me.”

– Cher

 

“The bright shining

only reflects back to myself,

my own light blinding me.

I can’t see the world and they can’t see me.”

– Anna Chrisrest,

 

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”

– Judy Garland

 

“Since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of time, you are incomparable.”

– Brenda Uleland

 

“At some point in my life, I swallowed a Sun. And now it dawns and sets in my belly.”

– Erika Harris,

 

“My heart filled with love, flowing over with joy, my own little drum that I like to march by!”

Gunda Fijnje-Nolan

 

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am.”

– Sylvia Plath

 

 

What us your experience of your Self? How would you describe it?

 

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

Like the excellent mother, creator, organizer, administrator, mentor you are, be patient with yourself. Change is slow and you are human.

Think about your daily habits. Are they healthy? Are they helpful? What improvements might you make in your diet, your exercise program, your work environment, your family life, your friendships, your thought patterns, or in other aspects of your routine to improve your well-being?

If you decide to make changes in your life, be realistic in your expectations. Your goal is not to be as you were at thirty. It is to be your best Self today and tomorrow.

Adopt the changes you decide on with your full intention and focused attention. If you want a certain result, you must work to actualize it. I know. Sad, but true!

Think about caring for yourself as an act of love, rather than an odious duty. Isn’t that how you care for others? Attitude is all. Your self-care is, after all, strictly a gift you are giving to your Self. You know how to nurture. Now it is your turn to receive it.

Take Good Care:

•    Eat well — not too much, not too little — and allow yourself to take pleasure in your food. Feed your body with nutrients and your soul with color, taste and sensory delight.

•    Sleep well. Sleep enough. Then sleep some more. Nap if you can.

•    Exercise your body and your mind. And also your creativity, your intuition, your sense of adventure and the full scope of your options.

•    Oil your rusty parts. Water what is dry. Polish your surfaces. Stretch your body, your imagination and your self-imposed limits. Tickle your fancy.

•    Don’t worry about the future. Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want. Let go of past resentments. Be here now. Take it all in and remember to exhale.

•    Do things you enjoy. Have some fun. Play. Laugh. Be silly.

•    Treat yourself with respect and honor. Watch your inner language. Support your dreams, encourage your goals, allow yourself to be proud of your achievements. Bless your Self.

•    Mark your boundaries and don’t be afraid to defend them. Honor your needs. Fulfill your desires. Give yourself the time, the space and the permission to do so.

•    Advocate for your ideals. Stand up for what you believe. Speak your truth. Walk your talk. Put your money where your mouth is.

•    Make every thought, every word, every action, every second count. This is your life!

 

I have a simple philosophy. Fill what’s empty.

Empty what’s full. And scratch where it itches.

– Alice Roosevelt Longworth

 

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

A new year is a new start and so many of us resolve to make healthy changes in our daily lives. But so often these resolutions are goals having to do with what we know we should do. And soon our best intentions are turned against us, as we flog ourselves for slipping back into bad patterns.

Instead, this year let us simply resolve to love ourselves. Not to make ourselves do anything, but just to open to receive that love.

Let us be kind and caring with ourselves. Care for ourselves in the most supportive and positive manner. Not because we should, but because we deserve to treat ourselves with the same nurturing concern and affection as we show to everyone else in our lives.

We are now emerging from decades of caring for others, and many of us are at a total loss as to how to care for ourselves. It is crucial that we redirect back into ourselves some of the love and strength that we give so freely to others.

By middle age, most of us have lost already, or will soon lose, our parents, perhaps even our spouses, best friends and significant others. Who will mother us now? Who will take care of us, or more important, maybe, who will even care whether we take care of ourselves?

Now is the time for us to learn how to be our own caring best friend, sister, daughter, mother and devoted advocate. And this is our chance to be the sort of parent that we always wanted — for me it was the cheerful, optimistic, fun-loving Mary Poppins that my little girl-Self needed so badly.

But whatever our childhood was like, that was then and this is now. Now, we can give ourselves the unconditional love and support that we had or did not have as we were growing up. We can and must assume the responsibility to feed, nurture, encourage and comfort ourselves, to pamper and challenge ourselves, to whisper into our own ear each night as we slip off to sleep, “Good night, honey. I love you.”

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

A Vision for Humanity in 2013

By Barbara Marx Hubbard

Humanity is facing unprecedented, evolutionary changes. It is amazing—out of the famous Mayan prophecy has come the indication that we are facing the end of this world as we know it and the beginning of the new world by 2012. This date corresponds to environmental and social predictions of breakdowns and breakthroughs now widely known. Let’s assume there is some validity in these prophecies. What vision of the future, of the new world, might we see so that we can place our attention upon this vision as a strange attractor to carry us through this critical transition?

The Evolution of Consciousness

We notice that crisis precede transformation. Problems are evolutionary drivers. Intensifying pressure leads either to devolution and extinction or evolution and transformation. This is one reason that 2012 might be earthshaking and shocking to some. Furthermore, we see that evolution creates radical newness. Life out of prelife, human life out of animal life. Is it possible that from our species, a new human and a new humanity are now emerging?

We can see the sequence from Homo habilis, Homo erectus, Homo Neanderthal, Homo sapiens, to Homo sapiens sapiens. Why should it stop with us? Is it possible that a new species has been gestating in the womb of self-consciousness through the great avatars, mystics, and visionaries for thousands of years, and that now, due the crisis, this new human is being born in millions of us?

It has been predicted as Homo progressivus (Teilhard de Chardin), Gnostic Human (Sri Aurobindo), Homo sapiens, sapiens, sapiens (Peter Russell), Homo noeticus (John White), Homo universalist (my own favorite name). It is possible that the basic shift point in this prophecy is the emergence of the “universal human,” by whatever name it is called, as a “new norm.” Perhaps we will reach critical mass for this human by 2012.

The fact is we see ourselves coming to the end of the viability and even survivability of ourselves in our current stage of self-centered self-consciousness. We are becoming “ego mutants,” as Alan Lithman calls current leadership, gaining powers we used to attribute to gods while we remain in the same state of consciousness as our ancestors.

If we imagine ourselves only a few years in the future, even by 2013, providing we do not destroy ourselves first, we see the outlines of a vastly enhanced humanity, applying the growing edge of human consciousness, capacities, and evolutionary technologies to life-affirming goals, resulting in a quantum transformation of the human species itself.

How Do We Get Ready For 2013?

Realize that the higher self, the inner voice, is you. Bring your projections home as your own developmental potential. Ask that deeper self to take dominion within your personality selves, and shift your identity from your ego to your essence. This is the key step to being born as a more universal human.

Then, find life purpose. Ask to know what you are born to do. Follow the compass of joy. Seek out those who affirm the highest in you. Where two or more are gathered in the name of that highest dimension or your being there, “I Am” is in your midst.

Everyone is needed. Everyone is called. The greatest blessing any one of us can have is to say “yes” to the dormant potential within us. Reach out to those who attract you, and connect with as many others doing the same as you possibly can.

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.