Beliefnet
The Queen of My Self

With the question of power — its uses and abuses — on my mind, I reached out to the Facebook fans of The Queen of My Self to see what power means to other Queens of Themselves.

Q. What does power mean to you?

A. Power to me is knowing what you stand for and not backing down, but having the humility to admit when you are wrong, or adjust your position when you have grown. All while being true to yourself.
– Sarah Jane, WA

A. Power is my Goddess-given right to live my life as a free agent.
– Saundra, UT

A. Power is being 100% yourself and not compromising based on what others want you to be, do or say. It is also not giving anyone else free rent in your head — which is essentially giving your personal power over to them!
– Christine, OH

A. To thy own self be true.
– Micklo, CA

A. A Queen’s power should be used to further her life’s path and to help along her sisters to do the same thing. We can do much to improve the lives of others if we use our power to do so.
– Katharine, Denmark

A. It means knowing how to access my life force energy, what activates it, what zaps it, and granting myself permission to do whatever it takes to stay connected to this inner fountain of youth! It is my chi!
– Daina, MI

A. To me power means being able to say the hard stuff with grace and non-attachment!
– Judith, NY

A. Responsibility.
– Ruth Ellen, England

A. Power is the life force within us and around us. And the ability to tap into it.
– Cristie, ND

A. In the mind of the Goddess (A Bitch) is a Woman of Strength, Power and Wisdom. Never take offense to this title of Queenship. And those who use this word are aware of its Goddess meaning. Blessed be the Woman who holds her own.
– Janel Oriana, NY

A. I KNEW someone would say “bitch!” It just reminds me of the well worn saying “Well behaved women rarely make history.” I had a conversation with a friend one day about Madonna who is one of my favorite examples of a powerful woman. I said I realized that she has a tendency to step on toes, act bitchy and make some doubt her sanity. I then realized I was one of those people, and I was perpetuating that view of a very powerful woman who has pissed a lot of people off with her creativity and confidence. I don’t agree with everything she does, but she does it well!
– Kimberly, IA

A. To me, true power is changing the world simply by the force of being exactly, only, and completely who you are.
– Carolyn, MA

 If you have ever been called defiant, incorrigible, forward, cunning,
insurgent, unruly, rebellious, you’re on the right track!
– Clarissa Pinkola Estés


WHAT IS POWER TO YOU? HOW ARE YOU POWERFUL?


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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

After an inevitable midlife transition period of feeling lost, confused and out of control of Her destiny, the Queen finally takes charge. She steps up to the situations of Her life and takes back the reins of Her power.

Or not.

Becoming a Queen is not automatic, nor is it instantaneous. Unlike dynastic royalty, where the only path lies through inheritance or marriage, the archetypal Queen of Her Self must earn Her own crown. As Simone de Beauvoir, the French philosopher and feminist said, “One is not born a woman, one becomes one.” So, how does one become a Queen?

In order to qualify for Queendom, we must choose to lay claim to the mighty power of self-determination and free will. A Queen is not a grownup princess gliding through life swathed in a protective sheath of entitlement. Rather, She must struggle for and earn Her authority and respect. We can step into our sovereignty only if we actually embrace it, embody it, employ it, enjoy it, and make it fully our own by conscious intent and conscientious effort. There is no such thing as Queen for a Day.

I went in through the doors of the treasury of wisdom, and I drew for myself the waters of understanding. I went into the blaze of the sun’s flame, and it lighted me with its splendor, and I made of it a shield for myself.
– Makeda, Queen of Sheba, 10th Century BCE

 We women are often afraid of our own power. Afraid to be thought of as pushy or bitchy if we assert ourselves willfully with the full force of our purpose. But wise women wield power wisely and the planet is in desperate need of our wisdom. The time couldn’t be more crucial.

The first step to becoming powerful Queens is to accept responsibility and sovereignty over our own lives and to feel secure in the effectiveness of our own authority. Once we embrace the personal power of being the Queens of ourselves, we can join together with other self-directed Queenly women to take our potency out into the world to use for the benefit of all.

Now is the time to acknowledge and explore our stature and our strength. It is high time to speak our truth, walk our talk and put our money where our mouth is. We have held back long enough. Starting here, starting now, we must claim our rightful duties as healers, as leaders, as visionaries. We have the whole world in our hands.

Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned, but women standing together side by side, Queen by Queen, autonomous, passionate, proud and empowered can create heaven on Earth!

“There will be no heaven unless we make it.”
– Florence Nightingale

 

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

I am fascinated (obsessed) by women’s relationship to power. It is the subject of my next book. The more I see, the more women I speak to, the more I realize that that relationship is on shaky ground. It is very clear to me that we women must claim, embrace — and most important — use our power. NOW!

We women are often afraid of our own power. Afraid to be thought of as pushy or bitchy if we assert ourselves willfully with the full force of our purpose without Self-demeaning false modesty. We are sitting on a powder keg of tramped down passion. This is our power. We must liberate it — for our own good and for the greater good, as well.

Wise women wield power wisely and the planet is in desperate need of our wisdom. The time couldn’t be more crucial.

The first step to becoming powerful women is to accept responsibility and sovereignty over our own lives and to feel secure in the effectiveness of our own authority.

We need to:
Identify and release our fears of success, power and leadership
Honor our abilities and hard-won wisdom
Claim our stature
Celebrate our strength
Embody our mighty influence
Exert the power of our moral convictions

Once we embrace the personal power of being the Queens of ourselves, we can join together with other Self-directed women to take it out into the world to use for the benefit of all.

Now is the time to acknowledge ourselves. It is high time to speak our truth, walk our talk and put our money where our mouth is. We have held back long enough. Starting here, starting now, we must claim our rightful duties as healers, as leaders, as visionaries. We have the whole world in our hands.

Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned, but women standing together side by side, autonomous, proud and empowered can create heaven on Earth!

There will be no heaven unless we make it.
– Florence Nightingale

I have been focusing on women and our relationship to power. Queens, especially have the very power that we need. We are mature, experienced, strong and brave. Plus, we are the biggest demographic in the country. Remember, one out of every three women is over 50 years of age. If only we realized how much power we have.

We do have the power. We need to use it. The example of Egypt is still fresh. When enough people demand freedom and equality, they cannot be denied.

In Norway, a brave women, Ebba Halund, and her radio listeners started a campaign that said, Vote for the Party that Supports Women. That beginning took Norway’s decision-making seats from 0 to close to 50% and these elected women began turning the country’s focus and money from financing war prevention to social and people stability. What was important to those women leaders was that our children, grandchildren, neighbors and older family had the services they needed. Creative solutions came because there was money to support this agenda.

Are you ready to take a stand? Take to the streets? Run for office?

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

by Sonny Carroll

 The Empowered Woman, she moves through the world
with a sense of confidence and grace.
Her once reckless spirit now tempered by wisdom.
Quietly, yet firmly, she speaks her truth without doubt or hesitation
and the life she leads is of her own creation.

She now understands what it means to live and let live.
How much to ask for herself and how much to give.
She has a strong, yet generous heart
and the inner beauty she emanates truly sets her apart.
Like the mythical Phoenix,
she has risen from the ashes and soared to a new plane of existence,
unfettered by the things that once that posed such resistance.

Her senses now heightened, she sees everything so clearly.
She hears the wind rustling through the trees;
beckoning her to live the dreams she holds so dearly.
She feels the softness of her hands
and muses at the strength that they possess.
Her needs and desires she has learned to express.
She has tasted the bitter and savored the sweet fruits of life,

overcome adversity and pushed past heartache and strife.

And the one thing she never understood,
she now knows to be true,
it all begins and ends with you.

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.