The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Being The Change Changes Everything

posted by Donna Henes

Some might argue that we don’t have any choice in this upside down dangerous world and that we can’t affect what will happen. But even if we can’t immediately alter the course of human events on the world stage, we can certainly create change in our own lives and in all of the lives that we touch. And our thoughts are the seeds of that change.

Dr. Christiane Northrup writes, “Use your thoughts wisely. Understand their power. Thoughts have a tendency to become their physical equivalent. This is one of the fundamental laws of the universe. Another one is the law of attraction, which states that ‘like attracts like.’ Because it is consciousness that creates reality, the kind of consciousness you hold — your vibration — actually creates the kind of life you’re living.”
 
So our first order of business must be to stay positive. To entertain only positive possibilities. To imagine only affirmative alternatives. To surround ourselves with wholly uplifting, life-affirming people and influences. To align ourselves solely with the greater good so that our actions will be born of only the finest of our best intentions.

We need to share that positivity with everyone who we meet, actually engage on a human level with those who we encounter as we make it through our day. Not just our families, friends and colleagues — those of presumed like-minds — but also the shoe repair guy, the waitress at the coffee shop, the post office clerk, the bag girl at the super market.

Because there really is still a chance for peace and positive change — and that chance will definitely increase if we each do our piece. It is ultimately up to us, each one of us, all of us, individually and together, to create the kind of world in which we want to live — to be the change we seek — starting right here, right now. Within the context of our immediate lives, within the concentric circles of our ordinary interactions. 

I once gave a presentation in Washington, D.C. about creating peace in our world and in our lives. During the question and answer period, a woman commented that she wished that she could quit her job and just devote herself to working for peace. “What do you do?” I asked her. “I’m a therapist,” she replied. Surely she has many opportunities every day to create peace and foster transformation in her professional capacity.

A good example of a Peace Queen is Dianne, one of the wonderful women who regularly attends my ritual circles. She not only prays for the homeless men and women who live on her block, but she calls them each by name. I am so impressed and inspired by her personal outreach to the “untouchables” that most other people would prefer not to notice, let alone engage with. Everybody is, after all, somebody.

If we ignore, exploit or patronize those people whose lives intersect with ours, how can we expect international relations to be more civilized? We need to walk our talk wherever we go, whatever we do, remembering always, that by doing so we do make a difference. Let us each be a sun, sending our caring energy out into the world, shedding light wherever we go. You never know whom you might touch with the radiance of your warmth.

A new, spiritually based social activism is beginning to assert itself. It stems not from hating what is wrong and trying to fight it, but from loving what could be and making the commitment to bring it forth.
- Marianne Williamson

***
The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

Say Something!

posted by Donna Henes

It is so damn easy to feel depressed, frustrated and disillusioned right now. In light of the widespread oppression, manipulation, intimidation that surrounds us today, we most certainly need to say something. There are signs everywhere in the subways of New York City that say, “If you see something, say something.”

We Queens see quite clearly the ills of the world — the degradation of our environment, the subjugation and brutalization of women, the starvation of children, the abuses perpetrated by corporate thieves and political bullies. We see it all. And we are called upon to respond. We need to say something. And say it clearly, loudly and with the full weight of our moral authority.

What we all have to do from now on is to stay alert, stay centered, keep connected and most important of all, keep talking. Talking, writing, protesting keeps the light of truth and tolerance shining upon the hidden agendas of governments, industries, institutions and individuals. Silence, like the dark of night, shelters nefarious deeds. Silence forgives violence.

I have been haunted recently by the words written by a Protestant minister after the downfall of the Nazi regime. “First they came for the gays. I am not gay, so I didn’t say anything. Then they came for the Gypsies. I am not a Gypsy, so I didn’t say anything. Then they came for the Jews. I am not a Jew, so I didn’t say anything. Then they came for the Catholics. I am not a Catholic, so I didn’t say anything. When they finally came for me, there was no one left to say anything.”

Be bold.

Make a statement.

Make a stand.

Make a difference.

***
The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

The Mighty Queen

posted by Donna Henes

The mighty Queen, the great and wise, brave and compassionate woman ruler, the reigning commander of Her domain, is an expansive, expressive, accessible, energetic archetype who represents a mature female power, authority, responsibility and influence worthy of our emulation.

There have always been exceptional Queens, royal and otherwise — inspiring and motivating examples of midlife monarchs, matriarchs, amazons, fabulous furies, sheroes and prominent leaders from all cultures and walks of life — to serve as role models for us who are striving to mold ourselves in Her image of sovereignty and strength.

Among the Hopi people, women are not considered to be completely grown up adults until they have reached their mid-fifties at least. Women who are not yet fifty are not considered mature enough to participate in the weightier matters of ceremony. Despite how accomplished they might be, how responsible, how many children they do or don’t have, their wisdom is not yet thought to be completely developed. They are considered to be still too involved in the practical matters of life and living, too distracted and preoccupied to be in attunement with Spirit — and thus their power.

The indigenous peoples of Mexico believed that a woman “did not have a face” until she became an elder. It was only through accumulated years of living and the experience that age offers, as well as her willingness to accept responsibility for the welfare of her community that she could gain face.

Many cultures believe that a menopausal woman retains inside her body the blood that she used to shed each month. This blood that she preserves for herself is the fire-red source of her potency. The French have a fabulous saying that “When women lose their blood, they gain their voice.” Of course some of us have always been big mouths!
 
The Matriarch Queen is not afraid to speak Her truth. She has kept Her power a hidden secret, held fast just below the surface, the lid screwed on tight to prevent an accidental boil-over. Now, She burns with the passion and the power of a dormant volcano finally let loose of the intolerable internal pressure borne for so long. The fires of Her impatience have burned away all the underbrush and now She can see the forest for the trees.

Knowing through Her personal experience what is true and valuable, and having learned, usually the hard way, to be proactive, She pledges Her royal Self to defend and promote all that is precious. Fired by righteous indignation at the wrongs of the world, the Amazon Queen takes on the responsibility of Her authority with fervor and command.

We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat.
- Victoria, English Queen, 1819-1901

***
The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

On Being Prepared

posted by Donna Henes

There is nothing like aging to drive home the fact that nothing in the world is permanent. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing is ever really completely safe. There is no such thing as security. Anything, anything at all, can happen at any moment. And in that moment, we are changed forever, as well.

How the hell can we cope with such uncertain times? (And all times are uncertain.) Life is a dangerous proposition all the way around. Nobody makes it out alive, after all. We never know, from day to day, from minute to minute, when a crisis will arrive unannounced on our doorstep. We never know when or how we will be called upon to rise to a critical, pivotal occasion. Yet we would like to think that we would be ready, willing and able to handle whatever may come our way. Like any good scout, we aim to be prepared.

But being prepared in the way of the Scouts can get you only so far. Sure, it is always a good idea to have a well-stocked pantry, tool box and first aid kit, just in case. It behooves one to be smart, to be alert, aware, vigilant, careful and calm. But there is simply no way — given the infinite variety of diabolically creative forms that death and destruction can take — to be prepared for any conceivable contingency.

For instance, the case of the two well-heeled, well-coiffed Japanese tourists in London who were struck and killed by lightning striking literally out of the blue as they strolled through Hyde Park. The wire, it would seem, on their under-wire brassieres had attracted the deadly bolt. How could we ever anticipate anything so bizarre?

A woman I once knew was walking with her husband and two adolescent sons along Boston harbor one sunny Sunday afternoon. They were eating ice cream and looking at the ships when a freak wind came along and knocked one of the boys into the water, never to be seen again. Imagine. Life is so fragile that an errant wind could literally blow you away forever.

The only way that we can truly prepare ourselves for unanticipated emergencies is to center ourselves in the present moment. To pay attention. To really be here now. To be ever mindful. If we can focus on the immediate, rather than obsess over the past or try to anticipate the future, we will have the presence of mind to assess each situation as it arises. And we will be able to be flexible in our response to it.

It is not so important to know what we will do in any given situation. The crucial thing is to know that we will be able to do something. To have confidence in our ability to think on our feet. To have faith in our own assessments, instincts and intuition. To be able to figure it out as we go along. To believe in our good intentions and our courage to do whatever is called for.

It seems to me that the secret to successful preparation is mindful presence. To live the life that we have, while we can, as best as we can, and to appreciate every single minute of it. L’chaim!, the Yiddish toast, “To life!” recognizes, embraces and salutes life in the full range of its scope and complexity. It celebrates all of it — the good, the bad, the ugly, the indifferent — for tomorrow we die.

***
The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

Previous Posts

Wise Words for Our Self
Several of my recent posts have been about the Self, including “What Exactly is the Self?” in which I wrote, “The Self is the sum of all of our parts, and holistically, it is greater than the sum of all of our parts. The fluid Self transcends time and space, expanding and shape-shifting, chang

posted 6:00:48am Apr. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Benefits of Age
Aging and changing might be inevitable, but they ain’t easy. They precipitate in us a great uncertainty. The myriad dramatic disturbances of modern middle life — menopause, health concerns, career shifts, the empty nest, divorce and death — create an overwhelming crisis of identity and purpose

posted 6:00:37am Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Long Live the Queen
The notion that fifty years of age could be considered a “halfway” mark is unprecedented. For most of human existence, life expectancy hovered at around twenty to thirty years, and it was only by 1800 that folks commonly began to live to be forty. American women now enjoy a mean life expectancy

posted 6:00:51am Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »

A Time For Me
During the decades of our Maiden and Motherhood, women grow to meet all of our many demanding responsibilities. Like the moon that can’t keep getting fuller and fuller with no retreat, we can take on only so much before exploding like a balloon pumped up with too much air. In the second half of He

posted 6:00:33am Apr. 09, 2014 | read full post »

My Mother the Queen
Unlike my grandmother who personified the archetypal transition from Motherhood to Cronedom at menopause, her daughter, my mother, was a Queen long before her time. Her story is quite a common one now, shared by many millions of women, but in the early 1950’s, she was a lonely pioneer when she sou

posted 6:00:18am Apr. 07, 2014 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.