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The Queen of My Self
humor Archives

Full disclosure: I’ve been suffering from Empty Next Syndrome Bt Wendi Knox I know this isn’t a condition that’s commonly discussed. A) Because it’s so uncomfortable. B) Because I just made it up. Of course, there’s lots of talk about […]

By Denise Andrews Party Doll is in the house with a big old mouth and butt to match, don’t give me no trouble till you hear my rap. I’ll get you “In the Mood” and we’ll “Rock around the Clock” […]

By Judyth Hill …continued from Monday… Following an evening when my sisters took a call from a guy she hadn’t met, instead of watching Memoirs of a Geisha and drinking martinis with me — the nerve of her — we […]

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: Everyone DATE: December 1 RE: Christmas Party I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open […]

  To the citizens of the United States of America From Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice […]

By Rosanne Barr  More than a few times recently, as a verified old woman, when I’ve been tempted to view life as a swirling, chaotic rush from the womb to the tomb, I’m brought to my senses by the unshakable […]

By Roseanne Barr Sure, menopause is hell. It saps your sex drive and puffs your ankles. But when it’s over, you’re calmer and more connected. Embrace it, sisters! After menopause, I discovered the joy of drinking wine, and of sinking […]

I received this gem via email almost ten years ago. I immediately tracked down the source, obtained permission, and arranged to print it in the next issue of Always in Season, which went out of print in 2006. As it […]

by Lisel Mueller The laughter of women sets fire to the Halls of Injustice and the false evidence burns to a beautiful white lightness It rattles the Chambers of Congress and forces the windows wide open so the fatuous speeches […]

I am about to publish the 67th issue of The Queen’s Chronicles, the monthly ezine that offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial inspiration for all women who want to enjoy the fruits of an influential, passionate and powerful maturity. Each issue […]