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The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

humor Archives

Message from Another Queen

posted by Donna Henes

  To the citizens of the United States of America From Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice […]

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The Joys of Menopause – Part 2

posted by Donna Henes

By Rosanne Barr  More than a few times recently, as a verified old woman, when I’ve been tempted to view life as a swirling, chaotic rush from the womb to the tomb, I’m brought to my senses by the unshakable […]

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The Joys of Menopause – Part 1

posted by Donna Henes

By Roseanne Barr Sure, menopause is hell. It saps your sex drive and puffs your ankles. But when it’s over, you’re calmer and more connected. Embrace it, sisters! After menopause, I discovered the joy of drinking wine, and of sinking […]

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The Legend of Sta. Procrastinata

posted by Donna Henes

I received this gem via email almost ten years ago. I immediately tracked down the source, obtained permission, and arranged to print it in the next issue of Always in Season, which went out of print in 2006. As it […]

The Laughter Of Women

posted by Donna Henes

by Lisel Mueller The laughter of women sets fire to the Halls of Injustice and the false evidence burns to a beautiful white lightness It rattles the Chambers of Congress and forces the windows wide open so the fatuous speeches […]

The Queen in Your Inbox

posted by Donna Henes

I am about to publish the 67th issue of The Queen’s Chronicles, the monthly ezine that offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial inspiration for all women who want to enjoy the fruits of an influential, passionate and powerful maturity. Each issue […]

Auntie Gravity – Part 2

posted by Donna Henes

 Auntie Gravity – Part 2 An Antic Cronish Goddess by Barbara Ardinger, Ph.D. “An’ you jus’ start thinkin’ of them lines,” She says, “as your Auntie Gravity’s rainbows, an’ remember all the colors of what you done in your life. […]

A Senior (I Should Be So Brilliant) Moment

posted by Donna Henes

A Senior (I Should Be So Brilliant) Moment This is the Letter of the Year from The Times of London: An elderly lady actually wrote this letter to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough and sent if […]

Auntie Gravity – Part 1

posted by Donna Henes

  Auntie Gravity – Part 1 An Antic Cronish Goddess by Barbara Ardinger, Ph.D.  Here is a goddess for mid-life. Sisters, do certain parts of your anatomy that used to stand right up and salute, now ignore the flag no […]

Midlife AAADD

posted by Donna Henes

  Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. or Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.   Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better even though I have it!   This is how it manifests:   I decide […]

Menopausal Maniac

posted by Donna Henes

  A prevalent archetype of the assertive midlife woman in popular culture is the Menopausal Maniac. The following was sent to me by a man friend. Hmmm.   Dear Tide: I am writing to say what an excellent product you […]

Poetry Granny

posted by Donna Henes

  Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do […]

Symptoms of Mid Life Crisis

posted by Donna Henes

Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we […]

Sex Goddess

posted by Donna Henes

  It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes […]

In Praise of Older Women

posted by Donna Henes

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first. […]

Message from the other Queen

posted by Donna Henes

To: The citizens of the United States of America From: Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II  In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby […]

Previous Posts

A Revelation
  By Alicia Keys For as long as I can remember, I've hidden myself. It might have started in school when I realized that I caught on to things a little quicker, and teachers started to show slight favor to me, or use me as an ...

posted 6:00:40am Aug. 28, 2015 | read full post »

A Matter of Choice
  by Joan Chittister Most of us know when we’re at a crossroad in life, when old answers have gone dry, when our souls have gone dry here, when nothing but another choice is possible. Then come the struggle and the dickering, the ...

posted 6:00:36am Aug. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Peace in Hot Times
For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, summer is sizzling at its most intense in August. This period is referred to as The Dog Days of Summer. Though named after the Dog Star, Sirius, this is the weather when, according to Noel Coward, only ...

posted 6:00:32am Aug. 24, 2015 | read full post »

Attractive or Sexy?
By Doris Jeanette A clear distinction between being attractive and sexy became clear to me while going over the final version of a book I am working on, "Safe and Sane: Heart-felt Answers for the Pain You Feel." It is a group of questions and ...

posted 6:00:38am Aug. 21, 2015 | read full post »

6 Things French Women Can Teach Us About Aging Gracefully
By Shelley Emling Before moving to the New York City area, I lived in London for seven years. During that period, I traveled more than two dozen times to France, a place where five- or six-week vacations are the norm and many people retire ...

posted 6:00:18am Aug. 19, 2015 | read full post »

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