The Queen of My Self

By Wendi Knox
It’s my birthday on Sunday.

I keep telling myself to “count your blessings, not your candles.”

And while I do have tons of blessings, I also have lots of mixed feelings about aging.

In fact, I’ve been rather stuck in the muck about it lately.

But fortunately, I received an early birthday gift today.

This uplifting download of divine wisdom about aging that came through my writing:  

Dear One,

You wear this number as if it were an imprint from Auschwitz.

Your age is not a curse. It is not something to be ashamed of.

It is an honor.

 An opportunity to show the world that when you cultivate a garden over time, the blossoms are more fragrant. And the roots are more stable.

This is what you need to celebrate.

Another year is not a sentence that you must bear.

It is a magical ring on your Tree of Life.

When you look in the mirror, you find that thing that is not perfect. Then you compare it to someone in a magazine’s retouched life.


When you look in the mirror you must see your light, your beauty, and your worth.

When the critical mind zeroes in on a flaw, you must bellow from the depths of your soul: “STOP.”

And find what is beautiful about your face, your body and your age.

You must deprogram the undermining belief in your culture that a nubile young maiden is worth more than a wise, ageless woman in all her glory and wisdom.

You must stop conspiring against yourself, your age and all woman- kind.

You must stop the cruelty, the diminishing and the hiding.

Celebrate the gift of who you are. At this time. On this day.

Happy Worth Day.


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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to


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