The Queen of My Self

Who is The Fairy Godmother?

“The Fairy Godmother is an enchantress, a holy sacred mother of the ancient mysteries. She ushers in what we think we do not know or cannot have or dare not express. She offers us gifts of the spirit: the gifts of inner guidance and universal love.”
(from Inner Child Cards: A Journey Into Fairy Tales, Myth & Nature, by Isha and Mark Lerner)

The Fairy Godmother is the wonderful, magical, mystical being who shows up in fairy tales just in the nick of time, wand in hand, and helps the heroine turn her dreams into reality and live life happily ever after. The godmother’s roots extend way past the Disney movies that have made her so popular, into the ancient religions. She is actually a composite many different feminine archetypes and magical beings. The concept of Godmother may be as old as Goddess worship itself, and the ancient belief that the goddess is a protectress of her human family. According to the Inner Child Cards, by Isha and Mark Lerner, some trace her roots to the Faery Queen, who was the top female of the magical faery kingdom, the community of mystical beings endowed with the power of magic and enchantment (you remember them from Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night Dream). The author’s say some Welsh folk ballads called fairies “the mothers” or “mother’s blessing.” The classic fairytale by Charles Perrault was one of the first to make Cinderella’s special helper a “Fairy Godmother,” when he said “This godmother of hers, who was a fairy…” In an expanded view of the magical, mystical female mentor, the Fairy Godmother-like character is sometimes presented as a sorceress who uses her powers for good, and especially to guide her charges to healing and transformation. The Fairy Godmother is often pictured as an older, wise woman with a wand that she waves in the air, such as the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella; or portrayed as a magical priestess seen as a “good witch,” such as Glinda, in the Wizard of Oz. She’s also the stern but wholly magical caretaker, such as Mary Poppins, who brings healing to the whole family.

Invite her into your life

The Fairy Godmother is our metaphor, mentor, partner, guide… and she is one of the memorable ways in which the Goddess has stayed alive in our hearts – as the magical female who can do all things magnificent, as long as we do our part as well! Continue to believe in her, and she will stay alive in our hearts and lives!

The first step is to choose to dwell in a magical universe. Put fairy tale inspiration all around you. Evoke good energies with images, accessories and words that inspire you. The Fairy Godmother, and all her magical cohorts and accessories, empower us to open our hearts and remember the pleasure of childhood … and to recall the power of making things up. She is the light side of the Goddess – benevolent, hopeful and healing.

Read yourself a bedtime story. Filling your mind with fanciful images and magical thoughts is so much healthier than the 11 o’clock news! There’s a vast array of material to choose from. Cinderella, one of the most famous fairy tales, is told in hundreds of languages and styles. Her Fairy Godmother has alternately been a tiny fairy with a wand … a magical white witch/water nymph living in a watery cave … her deceased mother. Explore books that evoke Fairy Godmother-like characters and tell inspiring stories about magical lives; enjoy romance, royal treatment, happily ever after. Notice if you feel happier, more energized, in the morning! You may find you awake with a smile and an attitude that anything is possible.

Enjoy art, images and ceramics. In Christmas ornaments alone you can find enough Fairy Godmothers, angelic beings and lovable heroines to put a smile on your face all year round. (Hang them on windows, in doorways and on plants).

Tack up words and sayings. Select passages that speak to things you want to magnetize in your life, such as the prince and new wardrobe you’ve been after. For example, copy or type excerpts, such as this one from Disney’s Cinderella. “I am your Fairy Godmother and you shall go to the ball Then the Fairy Godmother touched Cinderella with the wand. Her old dress turned into a golden one, sparkling with jewels. On her feet was the prettiest pair of glass slippers imaginable. 

Buy a wand. A wand is a magical tool of choice of all conjurers and witches – in fairy tales, and real life. In fairytales, a wand represents magical powers and abilities. Practitioners of Wicca and other magic-based religions actually use wands to harness magical powers and magnetize wishes. You can purchase a beautiful handmade wand with fancy trimmings and stones on the end, or buy a simple children’s wand and keep it in a place you can see it. It is the emblem of magic in your mind; just owning one will make you feel more magical!

Keep fairy dust around. It’s a symbol of magic and possibility that helps us remember life can be invented and created from nothing, and dreams can come true. It gives us hope. It also reminds us to “clap for Tinkerbell,” to focus our attention to make magic happen. Use gold or silver sparkles, pretty confetti, or buy some packaged fairy dust from Good Fairy Enterprises.

Be inspired by magical movies and TV shows. If you have children in your life, you already own a few magical videos. If not, rent or purchase your favorites — the ones you enjoyed as a child as well as newer releases. Any form of media that helps you tune into magical memories and uplifting feelings is perfect to pop them in the VCR whenever you need a pick me up. Here are a few favorites: Peter Pan, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Splash, and The Tenth Kingdom. Also very helpful in awakening the imagination and making your smile: Reruns of Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie.

Read Part 3 on Friday

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to

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