The Queen of My Self

“Bibboldy … Bobboldy… Boo.” –The Fairy Godmother, Cinderella

As far as I am concerned, we can all use a Fairy God Mother. At any age, at any stage, in any situation involving the heart and soul, it’s so reassuring to imagine there is a special being whose there just for you.

If you’ve lost hope in finding your prince or princess … If you are feeling you need a change in careers … If you are looking in the magic mirror and hearing “you could use a little freshening up” instead of “you are the fairest in the land” … if you are finding that those fabulous glass slippers you got on sale are too darn hard to walk in … of if you’ve forgotten how to let your imagination run free and how to trust in the abundance of the universe — its time to let magic back into your life.

Believing in magic is essential for creating a life of our own choosing. It helps us to remember that we live in an unlimited universe where anything is possible. It also makes life fun, and more interesting.

We survive childhood by believing that magical intervention is just a wish away – from Superman to Santa, there’s always someone to “save the day.” Girls, especially, grow up with the concept of a female being with magical powers that shows up when we really need her. It’s her job to rescue us, help us escape a bad situation and assist us in transforming our lives; ultimately, she ordains that we’ll live happily every after. And that is simply the way of the universe … when we’re kids! As adults, our brains begin to bog down with rationalization and judgments that rob the magic available to us in real life.

Stuffy and serious as we may become, the desire for enchantment and magical intervention often remains one of the secret fantasies of girls. Little girls, and big ones alike, often continue to secretly wish and hope for a magical mentor to show. Tucked away in our hearts is the belief there is always someone wise and wonderful who can step in and lend a hand – or a wand. Whether she turns a pumpkin into a coach, helps you land the prince or a great job, shows you how beautiful you truly are, protects you from wickedness or makes sure you live happily every after … we all love to hope that she will someday show up and help us make life magical. We can learn how to harness the childhood technology for making dreams come true when we acknowledge that we can create our own magic in life.

When you are ready to remember the magic of being a girl, she helps us conjure the faith and optimism of childhood and connects us to all the mystical and magnificent possibilities of the universe. Like the beloved grandmother or aunt with special powers, she helps us believe in the magical divine powers of the universe and within ourselves. She represents our innocent, magical selves and the benevolent hand that reaches out to assist us in living our dreams.

Read Part 2 on Wednesday

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to

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