The Queen of My Self

Today is the Fall Equinox. So it is only fitting that we gather today to celebrate the autumn years of our lives.

Let us take this opportunity to take stock of our harvest, that is everything that has made us who we are today.

We have long left the Spring blush of our Maiden selves, and are now emerging from the Summer of our Mothering years.

We are Autumn Queens, still years and decades away from the ultimate wisdom of the Winter Crone who we will someday be.

We Queens are past our reproductive years. Though not yet old, we are quite aware that the passing of time is no longer in our favor.

But we are not concerned with the business of winding down our lives, but rather in living to the max, before it is too late. We Queens refuse to go softly into the dark night.

Rather we burst into glorious flame like a dramatic sunset in the western sky, where our lingering orange and red colors cast the ambiance of the long evening hours with warm assurance.

Dressed in the fabulous splendor of Fall foliage, We are ignited with a fiery patina, glowing from within. We Queens are on fire!

As the seasons turn, our focus gets sharper and more concentrated like the round moon that is waning. To compare the Queen to the waning moon might at first seem negative, as “waning” implies decay, ebbing, deterioration, and loss.

But, the energy of the moon is not in decline, nor is it getting smaller in size when it wanes. The moon is always strong, always full, always brightly reflective. It is only our limited perspective that makes it seem like it is shrinking, darkening, losing its luminous potency, and disappearing into death.

We Queens, like the moon past full, concentrate our wealth of experience. We are committed to honing, toning, distilling, condensing, defining, refining and honoring Our authentic Selves.

As we age, we Queens become a rich reduction, infused with the intense bouquet of the flower that we once were, heightened by the fruit that we have become. Like a fine broth or brandy, we are less liquid, more juice.

“Trees are not known for their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruit.”
– Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine

We are the Queens of the Crop. Now is the time to survey our realm and prepare to take in our Harvest. But before we gather in the fruits of our labors, we must create a sturdy receptacle for our collection of bounty, a vessel worthy of our own value.

Our harvest is more than collecting our due. If we are to survive on what we have produced and grown, we have to do more than simply pick our crops. We have to have ways and means of making the supplies last, preserving them safely for the future.

We Autumn Queens strive to develop sustainable and renewable strategies and sources of support. We are the Queens of the world, the divine directors and administrators of resources and systems — our own and those of society around us.

Let us collect the rich harvest of our years – our accumulated experiences, our knowledge, our wisdom, our discernment, our courage, our confidence, our mastery.

What is your harvest? What have you sown, and tended and grown? What do you prize most about your self?

This Autumn let us cut back the vines that strangle us and prune away the undergrowth and everything else that does not promote our further growth.

What is in your way? What is holding you back and blocking your progress? What is your excuse?

Let us prepare the soil with the rich nutrients of self-approval, self-worth, self-care, self-esteem and unconditional self-love.

How will you feed your soul? What does it need to thrive? What pleases you? What pleasures you? Will you allow your self to have it?

And let us offer gratitude to our own deepest and best inner Selves — those pesky and persistent little voices that keep urging us on along the path of our continued transformation.

Now in our Autumn years, we are finally becoming the women who we have always wanted to be:

The Queens of our own dreams,
The rulers of our own destiny,
The creators of our own sovereignty,
The executrixes of our own will.
This is our harvest. This is our wealth.


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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to




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