The Queen of My Self

A Message for those doing the hard work of heart work…
by Shiloh McCloud

When everything you think you know
what do you do then?
When all that you dreamed you might cause
what do you dream then?
When who you thought you were
how then to re-invent?
When how you believed the world to be
how shall you trust again?
When the ideas of childhood are no longer
how do you re-connect to innocence?
When the instruction manual you have been using
what step-by-step do you follow?
When the life you thought you would have
is out of view
how then shall you claim a new one?
When the paradigm you were living in
no longer makes sense
how do you enter one that matches who you are?
When your heart hurts and the crack is opening
even more
how do you continue to love and to listen?
When the unraveling has begun you must just wait
on the Beloved.
Sit in the broken sanctuary of your own heart
even if the wonder and cries are so loud,
that you cry all day. Know that you are not alone.
Don’t try to get through it, get it done
or rush to the next thing or to resolution
or the illusiveness of completion.
Don’t make up new stories to go in the place
of the old ones.

Sit in the discomfort and the spaciousness.

Practice the thought that somewhere in your consciousness you have a memory or thought that remembers that healing is possible.

Healing is possible
Creator built renewal into my bones
The heart knows how to do it’s work
Allow me to be present for this process
Give me the strength and courage to hold on
I surrender knowing what it will look like
while at the same time claiming to be a part
of the great unfolding of my life, and this life
I will not rush myself
I will not let others dictate my own cadence
I will wait on the Beloved
I will practice faith even when I don’t know what that is.
And I will continue to open myself to miracles

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to


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