The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Cougar Queen – Part 2

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

I came across this article in the Palm Springs Desert Sun:

Desert Cougar Crowned Queen of the Singles Jungle
By Mariecar Mendoza

New York-based relationship expert Whitney Casey understands their sentiments.

Casey is the Relationship Insider for, a dating website with nearly a quarter of their 1.9 million members age 50 and older making it the fastest-growing demographic for the site.

“A lot of people qualify it as a bedroom moniker, but it really isn’t. It’s more about being free-spirited, liberated — not just in the bedroom, but in life in general,” Casey said.


“I think women who get called a cougar should embrace it.”

Palm Springs resident Dorothy Kloss, 87, has done just that.

“They come up with all the buzz words because it’s the name of the game,” she said. “But I’ve been in the game longer than most people.”

Kloss, who said she’s always dated younger men, has been with her cub, Ken Prescott, for 12 years.

But Prescott, while flattered, admits he’s not what people typically picture when talking about cubs — he’s 65.

The couple met at The Fabulous Palm Springs Follies, where Kloss worked her way into the Guinness Book of Records as the oldest living showgirl in the world.

“I think it’s funny that it’s become such a phenomenon because it’s been our way of life for years,” Prescott said.


Kloss does admit that “it keeps you young when you find companionship with someone who’s active.”

Casey said that seems to ring true for many cougars, who often describe cougar-cub relationships as “facelifts for life.”

Lucia, a self-proclaimed cougar, said cougars are “an endorsement for living a healthy lifestyle.”

“We’re talking about older women who look young. They’re attractive, in shape and just on top of all it,” said Lucia, a Los Angeles-based dating expert who specializes in cougar relationships on, billed as the world’s first cougar lifestyle website.

Lifestyle trends such a nutritional diets, Pilates and Botox have been spurred by cougars, she added.


“They show that those who take care of themselves can look great well after their 20s and can reap the rewards for it well into their 60s,” said Lucia, who goes professionally by only one name.

And it’s not just a fad, she said.

“If a woman is hot, no matter what the age, guys are going to be interested — and beautiful women are turning 40 every day,” Lucia said.

“They’re out of their den and they’re not going back.”

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to

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