The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self


Beauty Redefined – Part 1

posted by Donna Henes

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first. By Karinna Kittles www.SacredLove.com What is your current definition of beauty. Is it 5’9, blonde hair, blue eyes, skinny and full breasts, or the male version 6 foot tall, broad shoulders, a perfect smile, perfect teeth, and a super athletic body. If there is a yes or a maybe in your mind, where do you find yourself in those definitions? How do you measure up? At the high there is about 2% of the population that meet all the above criteria and blessings to them. These physical types and other similar ones are valued more in our society than almost any other. so where does that leave the rest of us. If you find that you are always comparing yourself to these kinds of images and feeling yourself less than perfect, you are not alone. More and more women are feeling the effects of fear-based advertising. This is advertising and TV that perpetuates the age myth, the size myth, and the beauty myth. Companies that use these tactics, feed low self esteem and teach unreachable idealism, creating a society which is unsatisfied with itself and one obsessed with outer perfection. Do you find you minimize valuable parts of yourself such as health, emotions, talents and abilities for the importance of the outer physique? You can discover your answer, by how much time you spend on each of these areas during the course of your day. If you are shocked by your findings, you are awakening, I believe we have been conditioned to equate the media and beauty industries approved images with health, talent, financial freedom, love and sex. The core elements that most all of us aspire to. Placing primary importance on our outer appearance is valuing the effect over the cause, in other words appreciating the wrapping paper more than the gift. Exterior emphasis denies the whole, the truth, the soul and our uniqueness, creating feelings of fear, anger, jealousy, self hatred, judgments of inferiority and superiority, worthiness and worthlessness, depression, eating disorders, competition, entrapment, and quiet desperation. Although I had been on a spiritual quest most of my life, it wasn’t until about 5 years ago that my spirit made a dramatic choice and my ego made a semiconscious choice to begin valuing my authentic self more fully. Until then, as an adult, I had depended on my outer appearance for my livelihood, lovability and value. Still strongly in denial that the outer imagery I was participating in and witnessing was effecting me negatively, I simultaneously began to feel little desire to continue modeling or acting and overnight I became ill. My illness took me on a two-year journey that forced me to stop working, be in bed and look at myself. I began to move my attention from my outer reality to my inward reality, taking small steps to face my anger, self-hatred and unworthiness. Monday: Beauty Redefined – Part 2 * *** Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™ The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.



Previous Posts

What’s Important in Life?
–from Joan Chittister: Essential Writings Once upon a time, there was an elder who was respected for his piety and virtue. Whenever anyone asked him how he had become so holy, he always answered, “I know what is in the Qur’an.” So when the old man died, they raced one another to his hu

posted 6:00:09am Oct. 17, 2014 | read full post »

One For All and All For One Once and For All
Recently I was asked to speak about the shamanic point of view of team building with an emphasis on creating alliances and community. From a shamanic point of view it is redundant to think of reaching out to build teams, alliances and communities, as we are already all connected. There is no us a

posted 6:00:12am Oct. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Out on a Limb
By Jan Morris You have stepped out on a limb.  You have made a choice to travel many miles, far from familiar, family, childhood, home.  You have made this choice to grow, to make improvements upon yourself with a vision of a foundation for your future.  Here you are…meeting new friends, fin

posted 6:00:00am Oct. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Letting Go of All that Does Not Serve
On my birthday this year, a friend presented me with a gorgeous amber necklace that she had gotten in Russia twenty years ago before she immigrated to the United States. Though she felt that it did not suit her, she held onto it for two decades for sentimental reasons. When she gave it to me, she ap

posted 6:00:47am Oct. 13, 2014 | read full post »

I Want to Be a Crone — Someday
My maternal Grandmother died at 80. This was pretty old in her day. My mother died just short of her 80th birthday, which pains me still. She was not old. She did not look or act old. But she felt old. She lost interest in what had always pleased and sustained her, and thought that she was too old t

posted 6:00:54am Oct. 10, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.