The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Creating a Sacred Space in your Castle

The more conscious and respectful we become of the abiding presence and guiding force of our Selves, the more we feel inclined to spend time alone in Her excellent company. One way to honor these healing times of communion, of seclusion, and reflection with that deep part of us that is the source of our strength and wisdom is to conduct them in an environment that is both worthy and conducive to the sacredness of the occasion. That source, that center of Self, cries out to inhabit a special, sanctified space of our own creation, “a room of our own” as Virginia Woolf put it, where we are happily at home within ourselves. The Queen in us becomes very discriminating as to the quality of peace, order, and beauty that She establishes in Her environment, and She defends its inviolability as sacred.


The Queen Suggests:

Create Sacred Space

Put some meditative music on, dim the lights, and walk, dance, slide, crawl, or roll, slowly through your home. You might want to close or squint your eyes so that you can concentrate on what you feel rather than what you see.

Do you feel yourself drawn to a particular area or corner? That is your sitio, your particular sacred space. This is the place where you can feel most strongly your connections to the energy of the earth, to spirit, and to your inner best Self.

Your sitio can be as large as a room, as small as a chair or rug, as contained and hidden as a closet. It can be a sitting area or desk space in a larger room. It can be under a dormer in the attic, or even outside in the yard or on the porch.


Claim this space as sacred.

Cleanse your sitio. Wash the floor, window, or whatever furniture or shelves are in your space. Burn some incense to smudge away any negative energy. Frankincense, sage, cedar, camphor, and copal are especially effective purifying agents.

Consecrate your sitio. Bless your sacred space with the intention that it be a safe and comfortable haven for you, a shelter from the storms of living where you can always find your center and reconnect with your Self.

Sanctify your sitio by creating an altar with some amulet or altar items that will continually remind you of the purpose of your intention. The amount of space and privacy you have will determine the size and form of your altar.


You can construct an actual altar with many holy icons,   lucky charms, inspiring images, offerings, and        candles. You can discretely place certain personally (and privately) precious items on your desk or dresser top, bookshelf, or window-sill.

You can create a drawer or cabinet or closet altar that is completely hidden to all but you.

Claim and defend adequate blocks of time to spend in your sacred space so that you might engage with your Self on a regular basis. Use your sacred time and space to write in your journal, listen to music, meditate, do your yoga or exercises, dance, read, daydream, or nap.

With Self-engagement and development on our mind any time can be auspicious and any place a sanctuary. All we need do is claim it.



* ***

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to


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