The Queen of My Self

I am fascinated (obsessed) by women’s relationship to power. It is the subject of my next book. The more I see, the more women I speak to, the more I realize that that relationship is on shaky ground. It is very clear to me that we women must claim, embrace — and most important — use our power. NOW!

We women are often afraid of our own power. Afraid to be thought of as pushy or bitchy if we assert ourselves willfully with the full force of our purpose without Self-demeaning false modesty. We are sitting on a powder keg of tramped down passion. This is our power. We must liberate it — for our own good and for the greater good, as well.

Wise women wield power wisely and the planet is in desperate need of our wisdom. The time couldn’t be more crucial.

The first step to becoming powerful women is to accept responsibility and sovereignty over our own lives and to feel secure in the effectiveness of our own authority.

We need to:
Identify and release our fears of success, power and leadership
Honor our abilities and hard-won wisdom
Claim our stature
Celebrate our strength
Embody our mighty influence
Exert the power of our moral convictions

Once we embrace the personal power of being the Queens of ourselves, we can join together with other Self-directed women to take it out into the world to use for the benefit of all.

Now is the time to acknowledge ourselves. It is high time to speak our truth, walk our talk and put our money where our mouth is. We have held back long enough. Starting here, starting now, we must claim our rightful duties as healers, as leaders, as visionaries. We have the whole world in our hands.

Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned, but women standing together side by side, autonomous, proud and empowered can create heaven on Earth!

There will be no heaven unless we make it.
– Florence Nightingale

I have been focusing on women and our relationship to power. Queens, especially have the very power that we need. We are mature, experienced, strong and brave. Plus, we are the biggest demographic in the country. Remember, one out of every three women is over 50 years of age. If only we realized how much power we have.

We do have the power. We need to use it. The example of Egypt is still fresh. When enough people demand freedom and equality, they cannot be denied.

In Norway, a brave women, Ebba Halund, and her radio listeners started a campaign that said, Vote for the Party that Supports Women. That beginning took Norway’s decision-making seats from 0 to close to 50% and these elected women began turning the country’s focus and money from financing war prevention to social and people stability. What was important to those women leaders was that our children, grandchildren, neighbors and older family had the services they needed. Creative solutions came because there was money to support this agenda.

Are you ready to take a stand? Take to the streets? Run for office?

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to







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