The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

What Are Your Thoughts About Aging?

The process of maturing is an art to be learned, an effort to be sustained. By the age of fifty you have made yourself what you are, and if it is good, it is better than your youth.

~Marya Mannes

Between this blog, The Queen of My Self fan page on Facebook and my monthly Ezine, The Queen’s Chronicles, I get a lot of comments from women everywhere who are transitioning into their own powerful potential as a fully sovereign Queens.

I would like to share some of these thoughts, as I believe they speak to the interest of all the 60 million midlife women out there. Should these spark your own thoughts. Fabulous! And if they inspire to you send in your thoughts and ideas to share, even better.



“I’m always happy to see women reclaiming age. We have to figure out what it means on our own, questioning everything that society tells us. This is work that all of us are doing, just as we’re reclaiming our gender expression and our spiritual practices.

In a still male-dominated society, an aging woman is seen through male eyes. No longer a traditional sex object, and so derided? But also feared, because of some very ancient conditioning. Early on, elderly women must have been the most valuable asset in tribal cultures. Memory and experience were priceless, since that was what kept everyone alive. Elderly men would have been revered, too, but elderly women would have more intimate knowledge of body changes, cycle and healing. And so I have no doubt that we were the authority figures for thousands of years.


And as the patriarchal overthrow meant the suppression of women’s primeval power, so it buried the power of old women. Our social roles have narrowed down because we retain the tendency to speak truth and to naturally exert authority. In order to prevail, patriarchy has to turn us into cartoon characters – just as they’ve done with the witch and with so many aspects of womanhood.

It makes sense, from nature’s viewpoint, that elderly women would have special gifts, gifts that we’ve been honing our entire lives. Nature doesn’t waste anything, least of all experience.

I am really curious to hear what age means to other women. For me, it’s been a much more balanced and self-aware place to be. My mind has settled down. It’s the difference between choice & compulsion. When I was younger, I felt compelled to push, struggle, and take on challenges. Now, when I do those things, I do them from a sense of choice.


Old women often discard the mask of femininity and stand revealed in our true power. But it can be very scary to step out of a firmly-entrenched social role and that’s why women are scurrying to “look younger.” To take on our atrophied power is not easy. We all have to recognize it first, and then we have to work together.

But to my mind this is the only thing that will save the planet at this junction in history. And I think it’s the message of the epoch, the message of Pluto in Capricorn, the sign of age and wisdom.”

– Jenny, Germany


Amen. I am in my mid 40’s and finally know. I understand and appreciate myself. Life is fantastic!!!

– Tracy, OH



This is so true. During my 30s and early 40s I wished to return to my 20s. Now, in my late 40s, I am so glad to be where I am in life’s journey.

– Cyndi, CA


So right you are sister. At 70 I am who I am and proud to be Queen of Self. Life is a stage and I love the part I now play.

– Micklo, CA


Soooooooooo true! And it only gets better and better. :-)

– Diana, NM


Yes! I am very happy with who I have become!

– Brenda, BC, Canada


Yes! The handcrafted Self is worth the journey it takes to get here!


– Lynlee, CA


My 50’s are just sooo much FUN!

– Donna, MT


What are YOUR thoughts on getting older? Please leave a comment and share you ideas and experiences. Thanks.


Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™


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