Advertisement

The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

What Are Your Saving It For?

As daughters, as wives, as mothers, as lovers, as workers, as bosses, we have catered to the care and upkeep of people, pets, professions, and projects. Most of us have spent decades devoting our best efforts to making life better for everyone and and everything around us.

That is all well and good, but it is also important to honor our own worth by using the very best of everything that we have on us. Right now! It is such a folly to save our favorite items for something, someday special.

Somehow, the days never seem special enough to allow ourselves the pleasure, the indulgence, to use and enjoy the very things that we love the most. Goddess-forbid that we would dare to feel that we were special enough to use them today.Every day, after all, is just another day, and so we let them pass, and then, one day, we run out of days.

Advertisement

If we are to treat ourselves like Queens, we must provide ourselves with the best that we have to offer — our best attitude, our best care, and our best possessions. What are we waiting for?

When my mother died, I inherited my grandmother’s set of turn-of-the-century hand-painted china. I have always loved those dishes, which evoke fond memories of Gramma’s excellent Jewish cooking and her unconditional love. When she died, my mother took the set home with her, wrapped each piece carefully in tissue paper, and put them all away for use only on special occasions.

For a while, while I was growing up, we enjoyed my grandmother’s dishes at holiday suppers when they were filled with company-only extravagances like black olives and pickled watermelon rinds. But as time passed and the family dispersed, special occasions became rare and I didn’t see those dishes for years.

Advertisement

Now that they are mine, I, too, cherish them and use them only for very special occasions: Every Meal. Every Day. For my Self. I am careful with them, but I use them anyway. If I break one occasionally, I feel bad for a moment, then I put the pieces on the soil of my potted plants where their pattern continues to cheer me. If there are none left by the time I die, so be it. One less find for the Antiques Roadshow.

I would live my life burning it up as I go along, so that at the end nothing is left unused.

– May Sarton

The more conscious and respectful we become of the brilliant abiding presence and guiding force of our Selves, the more we feel inclined to spend time alone in Her excellent company. That inner place, that source, that center of Self, cries out to inhabit a special, sanctified space of our own creation, “a room of our own” as Virginia Woolf put it, where we are happily at home within ourselves.

Advertisement

The Queen in us becomes very discriminating as to the quality of peace, order, and beauty that She establishes for Her Self in Her personal domain, and She defends its inviolability as sacred. After all, we are worth it!

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment hedgecrone

    yes, what am I saving it for?

Previous Posts

A Revelation
  By Alicia Keys For as long as I can remember, I've hidden myself. It might have started in school when I realized that I caught on to things a little quicker, and teachers started to show slight favor to me, or use me as an ...

posted 6:00:40am Aug. 28, 2015 | read full post »

A Matter of Choice
  by Joan Chittister Most of us know when we’re at a crossroad in life, when old answers have gone dry, when our souls have gone dry here, when nothing but another choice is possible. Then come the struggle and the dickering, the ...

posted 6:00:36am Aug. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Peace in Hot Times
For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, summer is sizzling at its most intense in August. This period is referred to as The Dog Days of Summer. Though named after the Dog Star, Sirius, this is the weather when, according to Noel Coward, only ...

posted 6:00:32am Aug. 24, 2015 | read full post »

Attractive or Sexy?
By Doris Jeanette A clear distinction between being attractive and sexy became clear to me while going over the final version of a book I am working on, "Safe and Sane: Heart-felt Answers for the Pain You Feel." It is a group of questions and ...

posted 6:00:38am Aug. 21, 2015 | read full post »

6 Things French Women Can Teach Us About Aging Gracefully
By Shelley Emling Before moving to the New York City area, I lived in London for seven years. During that period, I traveled more than two dozen times to France, a place where five- or six-week vacations are the norm and many people retire ...

posted 6:00:18am Aug. 19, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.