The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Hard Work of Heart Work

I have grown to love winter. It is a time of being home and laying low. A time of making soup and catching up on my ironing. A time of long, indulgent hot baths and slow starting mornings in bed with a cup of tea and a good book.

During February I will be sharing articles about Domestic Queens, Introverted Queens, Privacy Seeking Queens, Self-Loving Queens, and Literary Queens. And as always, I ask you to please share your stories on these themes.


A Message for those doing the hard work of heart work…

By Shiloh McCloud


When everything you think you know


what do you do then?


When all that you dreamed you might cause shifts

what do you dream then?

When who you thought you were isn’t

how then to re-invent?

When how you believed the world to be deconstructs

how shall you trust again?

When the ideas of childhood are no longer whole

how do you re-connect to innocence?

When the instruction manual you have been using de-materializes

what step-by-step do you follow?

When the life you thought you would have is out of view

how then shall you claim a new one?

When the paradigm you were living in no longer makes sense

how do you enter one that matches who you are?

When your heart hurts and the crack is opening even more


how do you continue to love and to listen?

When the unraveling has begun you must just wait on the Beloved.

Sit in the broken sanctuary of your own heart

even if the wonder and cries are so loud,

that you cry all day. Know that you are not alone.

Don’t try to get through it, get it done

or rush to the next thing or to resolution

or the illusiveness of completion.

Don’t make up new stories to go in the place

of the old ones.


Sit in the discomfort and the spaciousness.


Practice the thought that somewhere in your consciousness you have a memory or thought that remembers that healing is possible.


Healing is possible


Creator built renewal into my bones

The heart knows how to do its work

Allow me to be present for this process

Give me the strength and courage to hold on

I surrender knowing what it will look like

while at the same time claiming to be a part

of the great unfolding of my life, and this life

I will not rush myself

I will not let others dictate my own cadence

I will wait on the Beloved

I will practice faith even when I don’t know what that is.

And I will continue to open myself to miracles




Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She  offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to



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