The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

We Like Ourselves!

January is Self-love month. And if it weren’t, I, Queen Mama Donna, would declare it so! So for the rest of the month I will focus on the ways that we can show love and support to ourselves.

There is only one person who is absolutely guaranteed to be with you loyally every day until you die. So you might as well live her! Will you join me in showering your Self with love starting right now?


Despite the rude awakenings, the unsettling physical and emotional chaos of midlife and all of its frightful, presumed ramifications, an amazing number of women find this stage to be the most personally fulfilling and satisfying of their lives so far.

A recent Gallup survey of women aged fifty to sixty-five revealed that fifty-one percent of them feel happier now than they have ever before. This compares to only ten percent who thought the happiest times in their lives were their twenties, seventeen percent who were happiest in their thirties, and sixteen percent who liked their forties best.


Just what are we to make of this apparent feeling among so many women that we believe ourselves to be better off once we have lost possession of the very characteristics and trappings that society seems to value most in us — our sexual allure and childbearing capabilities?

We have lost our youthful looks and stamina. We have lost some vision, some hearing, some memory. We have lost the pigment in our hair and the elasticity in our skin. We are also losing our battle against gravity and the advancement of time.

We have lost the children we raised and we have lost our chance to have the children that we didn’t have. We also stand to lose our parents, our old friends, our spouses. We are in danger of losing our time left on the job, our visibility and our very lives.


So how does it compute that even while we are mired in loss, we have never been happier?

Because we have discovered that we actually like who we have become!

We Queens have taken on the challenge of change, and with our eyes wide open we have engaged in the daunting process of learning who we are now and who we choose to become. It is important to us to know that our thoughts and feelings count, that our work and interests are meaningful, and that we, ourselves, matter. Our growing Self-confidence propelled us to reach for and attain our own authentic personal power.

We have come a long way and it has been quite a journey. We have dreamed the dream and done the work, and walked the long, long highway. We have struggled to discover, comfort, cosset, encourage and change our Selves. Now, finally, gloriously, joyfully, we have arrived at our destination. The station of our authentic sovereignty. And don’t it feel grand?



Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to






  • stamina

    I am in fact delighted to read this weblog posts which includes lots of valuable data,
    thanks for providing such data.

  • get hard knight

    Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your website and in accession
    capital to assert that I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Any way I will be subscribing to your augment and even
    I achievement you access consistently fast.

Previous Posts

What Menopause Taught Me – Part 2
By Darcey Steinke ... continued from Part 1, posted on Friday  If in my mother’s era menopause was rarely spoken of, in my own it’s a comedic premise. Joke websites have sections specifically for change-of-life humor. “If prison guards ...

posted 6:00:40am Oct. 12, 2015 | read full post »

What Menopause Taught Me – Part 1
By Darcey Steinke Hot flashes are inner apocalypses, singeing the body and the brain. During my first volcanic night sweat, a chaotic force moved through me. Heat rose, busting through the top of the thermometer, and swept through my body ...

posted 6:00:10am Oct. 09, 2015 | read full post »

What Does Power Mean to You?
I turned the topic of power over to the FaceBook Queen of My Self page: Q. What does power mean to you? What does it mean to have power? To be empowered? To wield power? To be a powerful Queen? Are you powerful? What does that mean to ...

posted 6:00:04am Oct. 07, 2015 | read full post »

I am mad. So very mad. No, that doesn't begin to describe it. I am pissed. I am angry. I am irate. I am incensed.I am outraged. I am enraged. I am livid. I am GODDESS DAMN FURIOUS. "All men are created equal," states the Declaration of ...

posted 6:00:55am Oct. 05, 2015 | read full post »

Eating Right During Menopause
By Kathy R. Byrnes This is a time when women need to realize that their bodies are changing and that eating well and being physically active may make the midlife transition easier My, how quickly the years go by! Menopause seemed like it ...

posted 6:00:49am Oct. 02, 2015 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.